The Past Starts Tomorrow
by naybaybay
Summary: The story begins with a very dramatic sniper case, until chapter 3. Then, with chapter 4, our DD begin to face an even greater challenge than a sniper on the loose... facing their feelings for each other! Rated M for nudity and suggestiveness! Smut TBE
1. Chapter 1

**Hello folks - happy new year!**

**A new year brings a new story. This is one idea I've had in my head for quite a while now - probably even before "The Bexhills" came to fruition. I didn't envision the initial plot line being this complicated however! lol. But that's me I guess, thinking mainly about Caskett, and usually very little about the case.**

**Hopefully it turns out to be interesting for you all to read though, and as always, responses are so very appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: Do I Live in California? No. Live in America? No. Live in Castle Land? Yes. Hmm, One out of Three - Damn, not quite close enough to be able to say I own them :-(**

Beckett felt warm and contented as she yawned softly and rolled over in the large expanse of the satin sheets. Still, she couldn't yawn or stretch away the churning of nerves, nestled in the pit of her stomach, unprepared to relocate to a more convenient location.

She swallowed a lump as she braved herself for her first look at him, of the day. Turning tentatively, preparing herself for that all-familiar feeling of wanting for the man next to her, the man she'd coveted, for four years now; not that he he'd been privy to that knowledge of course.

As if lady fate had read her thoughts, she arranged for the one thing Beckett wished not to happen, to happen. He was awake already, and was taking her in with those piercing blue eyes of his.

Her heart raced to see him, to be so near to him. It would be cruel to reach out and touch him, to kiss him even; if she had no intention of following it up with anything - right? She'd had many moments of weakness, where she had experienced similar, fleeting thoughts. She was a woman after all, and he was a man - was it so wrong?

Yes, yes it was, she reminded herself. Because, she was keeping a secret from him. A secret that would shake the very foundation their relationship...friendship...partnership, was built on. Before she acted on her feelings for him, she had to make it clear to him what they were, where they were at and that she was aware he shared those feelings for her. That she had been aware of them for a year now, for almost a year to the day, in fact.

"Hey" he murmured, breaking her from her thoughts.

Oh crap. Richard Castle + morning voice = Katherine Beckett in trouble.

She blinked up at him, realizing she was doing a lot of staring and very little speaking. "Uh, hey, morning", she smiled weakly.

His gaze held a certain softness reserved only for her.

"How are you?" He smiled back, gently.

She inhaled through her nose and nodded her head a little. "I'm hanging in there, you know."

She felt his body shift, evidently preparing to decamp from the bed.

"How are you?" She asked, trying to mentally restrain him, not ready to lose his warmth just yet.

He cleared his throat. "Probably selfish of me to say but...", he licked his lips, parting his mouth like often he did before saying something to break a case.

"I've never been better", he winced slightly, fearing a repercussion.

Slowly though, surprising him, and even herself, she smiled; the kind of smile that made her eyes crinkle cutely.

For ten seconds - though really it could have been ten months; Castle and Beckett's eyes joined in a familiar dance of uncertainty, longing and finally, at least on Beckett's part; decisiveness.

That decisiveness was not the kind Castle was expecting from his long-desired, never-captured partner.

Sedately, she moved her hand to his shoulder, and used it to pull herself to him. His jaw hit the floor (or the mattress), as she practically came to lie on top of him.

Moving slower than a wet week, she brought her face close to his, the faint hint of a smile, dressing her lips. Seeing the ghost of that smile, coupled with the expectant raise of her brow, gave him the encouragement to lean forward into her.

Both breathed, practically sighing, both, only partly aware of what they were doing, the other part of them, being driven by some magnetic force that neither of them was willing, nor able to control.

They discovered Beckett was the one who wanted this more than even he, as she hummed before their lips could even meet...

21 HOURS EARLIER

"Hey Lanie, what have we got?" Beckett approached the M.E with the air of confidence, of control she always felt when allowed that special entrance through the yellow tape, that the rest of New York would be denied.

"Victim is Brent Tolliver, I.D puts him at thirty-five. Singular gun shot wound to the head", Lanie made a face as she lifted his chin forward to examine the man's skull, where the bullet had torn his head apart. "Body temp puts time of death at two hours ago, so..." the M.E looked at her watch. "Round 7 am."

Beckett looked down at the man lying on his back, on the cold hard tar of the city sidewalk. His brains had spilled out of him, and were now sprawled beside him on the pavement. "Killer knew where to shoot to cause maximum damage", Beckett mused.

"And maximum grossness", the voice she'd been hanging out all morning for, rang out behind her.

Castle came to stand beside her in his typical casual way, holding two large cups of coffee, handing one to his partner.

"Nice of you to join us Castle", Beckett muttered to him out of the corner of her mouth, she took the hot beverage from him.

He grinned. "Is it?" He held the vowels longer than necessary.

She narrowed her eyes at him, a small smile on her lips, and turned back to the victim. "For those of us who were tardy, this is Brent Tolliver, male, 35, GSW to the head, resulting in, well..."

"A hot damn mess. His head's been near taken clear off. Shooter knew what he was doing... actually, it looks like", Castle shuffled back and forth on his feet, not really wanting to say it.

Beckett rolled her eyes at him. "Come on you guys, we've been through this before... it looks like a professional hit - a sniper", despite her attempt at indifference, Beckett's throat did constrict as she said the word.

Lanie and Castle shared a glance, and Lanie nodded. "Yes, it does. So we can assume this wasn't a random hit, unless the sick son of a batch o' cookies was out looking for target practice."

Castle shook his head. "No I think you're right, Tolliver is a name I'm familiar with. There was a Tolliver clan in Chicago who got done for human trafficking. Heard they skipped town, and Illinois cops lost all trace of them, not exactly the same as jumping on the next ship to Taiwan, but I guess New York is big and obscure enough to hide in.. Don't know about you two ladies, but if this is one of the Chicago Tollivers, I think I'm in favor of the sniper."

Beckett's brow furrowed as she knelt beside Lanie and took the man's I.D from her. "Surely, if the Tolliver family moved town, they would have taken the time to get new identities. A family that sly? Acquiring new names would have been a cinch".

"Well sure, they would've just stolen the identities of some of their victims." Castle frowned.

Beckett nodded and stood. "OK, thanks Lanie, we're going to go check out Mr. Tolliver's history. We'll see you at the morgue, a little later."

As she said goodbye to the medical examiner, Castle noticed that she looked up around her, her eyes darting around as she surveyed the skies and tops of nearby buildings.

As he joined her in her stride, he leaned into her. "Next time I'm tardy, you are most welcome to spank me, by the way."

Beckett shook her head, and grinned. Good, his plan worked.

"Oh no, I've got the perfect punishment for you, Castle..." She stopped and came close to him, tantalizingly close, leaning into his ear, she whispered. "Paperwork."

He glared at her teasingly as she bit down her grin and pushed him out of her way.

He followed her, smiling.

...

Back at the precinct, they caught up with Esposito and Ryan.

"Yo!" Esposito's usual brand of greeting broke through the bustling of the Homicide devision.

"Victim's fingerprints came back... unfortunately, our victim is not Brent Tolliver."

Beckett huffed. "No, that would have been far too convenient. So who is he then?"

Ryan shrugged. "Prints aren't coming up in AFIS, seems our vic was one of the good guys."

"Or a bad guy that was smart enough to never get caught", Castle added to the equation.

The three cops made faces at him.

"Bad guys may think they're smart, but belonging to a life of crime is not exactly the mark of wisdom", Beckett voiced, writing "John Doe" on her murder board, above a most gruesome picture of a barely recognizable face.

"So. Where does this leave us?" Beckett asked the men.

"Uh, we're going over trajectories now, but the site is difficult to locate, it appears the shot came from between two high-rises. One that's just in the final stages of completing construction." Ryan told her.

"Between?" Castle's eyebrows raised. "If one of those buildings has been under construction, it could be that the shot came from something mobile, like a crane."

"If that's the case, it could take us weeks to find it", Ryan groaned.

"Can we get hold of the landlords of those buildings?" Beckett asked

"No probs", Esposito said.

"Ok, you two get on to that, Castle and I will delve into the Tolliver case, find out why that I.D was used and if there is any connection from them to this victim."

Esposito and Ryan left the room and Beckett turned to Castle who was watching her with a smile, and a certain look in his eyes - what was it?

"What?" Beckett questioned him.

He shrugged, but the smile didn't leave his face. "I'm just...I'm proud of you."

Ah. Pride, that's what she could now identify the look as.

Beckett's brow furrowed, and she blushed. "Why?"

"Handing off the sniper side of the case to the boys, something so personal to you, it couldn't have been easy."

Beckett shrugged, trying to hide how pleased she was - but really, is it so shameful to be happy when your partner expresses pride in you?

Probably only when you're in love with him.

"Yeah, well. I probably would've been compromised. I'm just trying to do what's right for the case, and for the victim."

"I'm still proud of you", Castle smiled with dopey looking eyes, the kind that told her more than those three words in the cemetery ever could.

...

Later that day, Ryan and Esposito returned to the precinct with the names of the two owners of the high-rise buildings. The owner of the building under construction was Eddie Mayer, who had inherited a truck load of wealth from his grandfather, who had been a 1900's steel tycoon, from Springfield, IL, curiously enough. The other building was owned by a man named Carlton Magetti, the straight laced CEO of the insurance firm "Vesper Insurance."

"Only in America can you name an insurance company after a martini and have people place their life savings with you", Castle joked solemnly.

"This Vesper Insurance, they have a good track record?" Beckett asked the boys.

"Oh yeah, every client in the books only seemed to have good things to say about them. Trusted them completely", Esposito told her.

"What about you guys? You getting anywhere on "Tolliver?" Ryan asked his senior detective.

"No", Beckett shook her head, sighing as she sat down on the corner of her desk. "We're going to release his face to the media in the morning", she said.

With a quick look at her watch, Beckett noted that it was six o'clock already. "Why don't you guys head off. We'll all come back with fresh eyes tomorrow, kay?"

"You got it boss", Esposito gave her a nod and went to put his coat on.

"I'll go make us some coffee", Castle told her.

"Castle, you're a guy, aren't you? Go home."

"I'll leave when my partner leaves", he said simply.

Beckett chuckled internally. "I'll be at it til late and then I'll probably just sleep on the couch", she said.

Castle shrugged, and looked around the room. "Then, I'll take... Detective Carter's chair, it looks the most comfortable."

Beckett shook her head at him. "Castle, you have a family to be getting home to", she moved from her seated position on her desk.

Just then, the glass behind them both, shattered.

People screamed as a cop on the other side of the bullpen fell back.

Castle tackled Beckett to the floor, and then grabbed her by the arms, so that she slid underneath her desk with him.

Castle looked at her in shock, she was as white as a sheet and shaking.

"Are you hurt?" He asked, not bothering to ask her if she was "OK"; he knew that she wasn't.

"No", she barely choked.

"Castle, Beckett, you guys alright?" Esposito yelled out.

"We're not shot, Espo, we're alright, you guys alright?" Castle yelled back.

"Yeah, we're fine", Ryan yelled.

He could hear other people asking each other if they were OK. Slowly, the cops began to rise out from underneath desks and behind shelves, some drawing their weapons, unaware where the bullet had come from.

But Beckett and Castle knew that it hadn't come from inside the 12th, and probably from no where nearby, either.

Beckett sat still, seemingly unable to move. "Stay here", Castle ordered her, she didn't protest.

He stood to look around the room, people had gathered around a young officer, sprawled on the floor, he'd taken the bullet in the shoulder.

"Officer Petty's been shot", he said, looking down at her. "Only hit him the shoulder though", he reassured her.

She nodded up at him, shakily.

"We should get out of here", he told her, bending down and offering her his hand.

She shook her head.

"Come on Kate. I'll stand in front of you. I'll walk you downstairs and we'll go home, OK?"

Beckett swallowed, tears now stinging her eyes. She offered him her hand though, and he dragged her out, and pulled her to her feet, his arms half encasing her for support. They stood facing each other for a while.

"Th-thank you Castle. If you could just walk me downstairs, I'll get a cab and go home."

"Like hell", Castle told her plainly. "You're coming home with me."

She didn't argue, she couldn't, her vocal ability had been ripped apart by the sound of that bullet breaking through the glass. The glass in nobody else's window, but hers.

...

The two of them sat in Castle's living room, on couches opposite one another, both with full wine glasses in their hands. Castle had poured the wine an hour earlier but neither of them had been prepared to cloud their judgement or acuteness, tonight.

Instead they sat in mute silence, until finally, Beckett could hold it in no longer

"I've been seeing a therapist for ten months." Her voice shuddered as she told him.

He raised his head in surprise. "You have?"

She didn't nod in response or say anything to affirm, she just let tears roll down her cheeks. "And in one millisecond", she grit her teeth. "It's all been put to waste."

His heart broke as he watched her crying on his couch. "I'm so tired, Castle", she whispered out.

He knew she wasn't just talking about her current sleep deprived state. She was tired of walking around on eggshells, tired of jumping at every sound on the street.

What he may not have known, because only her and Dr. Burke knew this; was that she was tired of waiting to die, when she ought to be living.

Castle walked the five steps it took to be at her side. He offered her his hand. She stared at it for a moment and then looked up into his eyes.

"Come on", he told her in the most gentle way.

On autopilot, she extended her hand and let his grip it loosely, pulling her up off the couch. He took the wine from her hand and set it down on the little side table next to them. Silently they moved to his bedroom. She never said a word. He guessed she was too shell-shocked or too tired to protest.

But the truth was, she just didn't want to be alone anymore.

7 HOURS LATER

_Beckett felt warm and contented as she yawned softly and rolled over in the large expanse of the satin sheets. Still, she couldn't yawn or stretch away the churning of nerves, nestled in the pit of her stomach, unprepared to relocate to a more convenient location._

_She swallowed a lump as she braved herself for her first look at him, of the day. Turning tentatively, preparing herself for that all-farmiliar feeling of wanting for the man next to her, the man she'd coveted, for four years now; not that he he'd been privy to that knowledge of course._

_As if lady fate had read her thoughts, she arranged for the one thing Beckett wished not to happen, to happen. He was awake already, and was taking her in with those piercing blue eyes of his._

_Her heart raced to see him, to be so near to him. It would be cruel to reach out and touch him, to kiss him even; if she had no intention of following it up with anything - right? She'd had many moments of weakness, where she had experienced similar, fleeting thoughts. She was a woman after all, and he was a man - was it so wrong?_

_Yes, yes it was, she reminded herself. Because she was keeping a secret from him. A secret that would shake the very foundation their relationship...friendship...partnership, was built on. Before she acted on her feelings for him, she had to make it clear to him what they were, and that she was aware he shared those feelings for her. That she had been aware of them for a year now, for almost a year to the day, in fact._

_"Hey" he murmured, breaking her from her thoughts._

_Oh crap. Richard Castle + morning voice = Katherine Beckett in trouble._

_She blinked up at him, realizing she was doing a lot of staring and very little speaking. "Uh, hey, morning", she smiled weakly._

_His gaze held a certain softness reserved only for her._

_"How are you?" He smiled back, gently._

_She inhaled through her nose and nodded her head a little. "I'm hanging in there, you know."_

_She felt his body shift, evidently preparing to decamp from the bed._

_"How are you?" She asked, trying to mentally restrain him, not ready to lose his warmth just yet._

_He cleared his throat. "Probably selfish of me to say but...", he licked his lips, parting his mouth like often he did before saying something to break a case._

_"I've never been better", he winced slightly, fearing a repercussion._

_Slowly though, surprising him, and even herself, she smiled; the kind of smile that made her eyes crinkle cutely._

_For ten seconds - though really it could have been ten months; Castle and Beckett's eyes joined in a familiar dance of uncertainty, longing and finally, at least on Beckett's part; decisiveness._

_That decisiveness was not the kind Castle was expecting from his long-desired, never-captured partner._

_Sedately, she moved her hand to his shoulder, and used it to pull herself to him. His jaw hit the floor (or the mattress), as she practically came to lie on top of him._

_Moving slower than a wet week, she brought her face close to his, the faint hint of a smile, dressing her lips. Seeing the ghost of that smile, coupled with the expectant raise of her brow, gave him the encouragement to lean forward into her._

_Both breathed, practically sighing, both, only partly aware of what they were doing, the other part of them, being driven by some magnetic force that neither of them was willing, nor able to control._

_They discovered Beckett was the one who wanted this more than even he, as she sighed before their lips could even meet..._

Following the sigh, came a sound even more unexpected by them. This sound didn't come from Castle's bedroom, however, but from his living room.

A scream from his living room.

Their heads instantaneously whipped around to look in the direction of the living room, as if they could see through walls. They both spoke at once.

"Alexis."

Numbly, they jumped out of bed and raced to the living room; emergencies don't wait for people to wake up or make themselves decent.

Beckett, with her gun drawn, dressed in one of Castle's shirts, Castle in his t- and boxers combo, now holding his daughter in his arms; leaned over the dead man in front of them.

**To be continued, or not to be continued? That is my question. :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Alexis, I know it's tough but I need you to tell me exactly what you saw when you came downstairs," the Irish detective spoke soothingly to Alexis who hadn't yet let go of her father.

"I-I just saw the body, lying there, just inside the door. At first I thought maybe it was one of Gram's friends and they'd passed out drunk or something, but then I came closer and I saw the stab wound over his heart, and the... the blood - I'm sorry..." Alexis ran away from the two men and to the bathroom where she proceeded to throw up.

"Poor kid", Ryan mused.

"Yeah", Castle shook his head. "What have I done?"

Ryan's brow furrowed as he took in the writer, waiting for him to continue.

Castle swallowed. "These past four years I haven't stopped to give a single serious thought to how my involvement with you guys is affecting her. Who have I been doing it all for? Myself, and that's the truth. It started off as a selfish game of Richard Castle's next best seller, and then it turned into a deluded obsession, I dreamed about being a hero, I thought I could help people, but the people that are close to me, the people I love... all I'm doing is hurting them " He frowned deeply.

Ryan put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, first of all, you really think you haven't helped people? Man, you saved New York City. Or have you forgotten about that?"

Castle looked at the floor.

"And secondly, yeah some of the people you love, sometimes you hurt them, but that's all part of it. And if they really love you, they're going to forgive you. Just remember that those people that you love: Alexis, Beckett..."

Castle's head shot up.

Ryan gave him a stern look. "Don't even try to deny it because I know you do."

Castle exhaled with a sigh.

Ryan moved his hand from Castle's shoulder to pat him on the back. "Those people that you love, they owe their lives to you."

Castle shook his head. "You've got it backwards Kevin", he whispered. "I owe my life to them. Without their love, I'd be nothing."

"But you are something. You're that hero you once dreamed you could be."

Castle's eyes watered as he gave Ryan a broken smile and nodded his appreciation.

He turned around and saw that Martha and Beckett were sitting on the couch, consoling one another. Esposito approached Castle.

"So the victim is Jack Potter, singular knife wound to the chest."

"This has got to be connected to the shooting yesterday right? It's too much of a coincidence" Castle said, a heavy tone in his voice.

"Yeah but, two totally different methods of killing, and snipers do not deviate, they're too proud of what they do", Esposito told him sullenly.

Castle stomped his foot angrily. "How the hell did they get in here?"

"More importantly, how the hell did they get _him_ in here?" Esposito said, motioning toward the body, now being zipped up in a body bag.

Beckett came over to Castle's side. "Guys we need to talk about this."

The four of them gathered in a small, closed circle. "I think it's obvious that the shooter from yesterday isn't the guy from Montgomery's funeral. The team from ballistics just called and the bullet is not the same as the one they found in me."

"Well it wouldn't be, we have his rifle. You saw it", Esposito told Beckett.

"Yeah, but if this is the same guy today as it was yesterday, or at least the same group of people, which, let's face it, it's too much of a coincidence for it not to be; why would through the trouble to get into the apartment, dump a body and slip out again, while we were sleeping? Why wouldn't he just kill me?"

The men considered this.

"He's playing games. The sick bastard knows me, knows what I've been through and he wants to confuse us, he's taunting me until I break."

"Well we're not going to give him that satisfaction, because we're going to catch him", Castle told her assuredly.

Beckett chuckled bitterly. "Well, at least that would take care of one person that wants me dead."

...

Because Castle's place was no longer secure, and the twelfth was obviously a stationary target for wherever the sniper had the means to fire from, a temporary work station had been set up for the police of the 12th in an underground, covert location, just a little way out of the central city.

Castle, Beckett, and Esposito sat in a dark, cold basement, a lone light, barely lit up the dankness of the room. The three of them stared at the murder board, just trying to work through the cloud of confusion hanging over them. Who was this man? Was he working alone or was somebody else there, egging him on? The team didn't know which was worse, a pair of trained killers, or a solo sociopath on a quest for blood.

"So I searched the database and it appears Mr. Jack Potter is wanted for war crimes and grand larceny", Ryan said joining his three workmates at the murder board.

Beckett sighed. "So I'm guessing his I.D is forged as well. Might have guessed anyway, who takes the time to plant a body in someone's home and doesn't remove their wallet?"

"So this guy knows our victims well enough to have a photo of them to use to make these false I.D's.", Castle pointed out.

"All part of the game, to try and throw us off", Beckett looked downcast.

At that moment, their Captain appeared at the bottom of the dark staircase that ended in their basement.

They all stood to address her. "Detectives, Mr. Castle. Where are we with this sniper case?" Gates asked them.

Gates skipped any form of decorum when addressing the style of killing that nearly took Beckett's life. Beckett was somewhat relieved.

"We still don't have any proper identities, Sir." Beckett told her.

"Well, I have good news on that front. The photograph we released to the media, came back with a few bites. Victim's wife, Isabel Blake identified her husband as Henry Blake, IT consultant from Midtown, father of two."

"That's _good_ news?" Castle asked, dryly.

"Is there anything that ties him to Brent Tolliver, or any of the Tollivers?" Beckett asked her Captain.

Gates shook her head. "No, not that I can see. However the wife is set to get a pretty packet from her husband's life insurance, so there's a motive, right there."

"The sniper isn't a woman", Castle and Beckett said at the same time.

"And we know this how?" Gates questioned them with a raise of her eyebrow.

"The body in my loft could not have been carried in there by a female", Castle told her.

"We don't know yet that the two cases are connected" Gates pointed out, as if they hadn't already considered that.

"With all due respect, sir..."

Gates cut her off. "Detective, are you holding up OK? This whole, "no where to run, no where to hide" thing must be...unnerving for you. Are you sure you don't want me to hand this off to somebody else?"

Beckett gave her a "Don't even think about taking my case away from me" look.

"No sir, I'm fine, really. I have my boys for support and we're going to catch this guy."

Gates still looked at her seriously but didn't argue. "Good to hear it. I want this guy caught as much as you do. Well, I'll let you three get back to figuring this out, and let Castle get back to... whatever it is he does."

The four of them gave her a slight glare as she climbed the stone steps once more.

"Nobody wants this guy as much as me", Beckett hissed, as she collapsed into her chair, covering her face with her hands.

The three men looked at each other, they all feared she may be burning out.

"Beckett, Gates was wrong to ask you to leave the case, but are you totally sure you can handle this?" Esposito asked her.

Beckett rubbed her tired eyes and withdrew her hands from her face. "I'm being forced to live in a freaking basement." She shook her head. "I'm not sure of anything, anymore."

...

Later that day, Beckett received a call from Lanie. "Hey girl, how you holding up?"

Beckett sighed into her phone. "Honestly, I wish people would just stop asking me that."

"I'm sorry hunny. But you know I'm asking as a friend right? Not just as a professional courtesy or because what I really want to know is how the case is going."

Beckett laughed a little, for the first time in a while. "Well, everything goes through you, so you'd already know all about how the case is going", Beckett said.

On the other end, Lanie chuckled. "True."

Beckett tried to express her smile through the phone. "But, I know that you're a friend and you care about me, which is why you want to know. And I'm doing... OK."

"Well, I don't want to drag you away from your life of blissful "OK-ness", but I was wondering if you could make a little trip down here to the morgue. It's a very secure building with thick stone walls, and a couple o' pretty hunky guards, so you'll be safe here."

Beckett nodded, though Lanie couldn't see of course. "Yeah, sure. I'll get an unmarked to come pick me up."

"Alright. And Kate? Bring writer boy."

Beckett scoffed. "You actually think I could make him stay here?"

"I'm serious Kate. The man has sworn to protect you, and Rick Castle has proven time and again that he's the kind of guy that makes good on his promises."

Beckett glanced over at Castle, who was scowling at the murder board, as if angry at the clues for not piecing themselves together in his mind, quick enough.

"I know he has."

Beckett disconnected the call and walked over slowly to the man in question and touched him gently on the back, making him jump a little.

"Hey. You trying to get the board to speak to you? Because I think it's voice box may be broken."

He raised his eyebrows, keeping his eyes fixed to the white board. "If we had one of those smart-boards we'd have made the connection between the victims and their assumed identities and probably have caught the guy by now."

Beckett smiled, knowing he was teasing her a little, which she appreciated. "Maybe. But would that really be the end of it? We still wouldn't know why. Murder-boards don't allow for logic."

He turned and looked at her with a stoic expression, leaving her question unanswered.

She flicked her head, sideways. "Come on, we're wanted at the morgue."

"Kate..." Castle started, with a strained voice, he stood from his chair.

"Don't worry Castle, I'm going to protect you OK? And I promise I won't worry either. I have no reason to. I'm with you."

...

Castle and Beckett stood opposite Lanie. In the middle of them, on the slab, lay the man identified as "Jack Potter", the 48 year old war criminal and grand larcenist.

"So, why exactly are we here? There is a trained killer out to get her you know."

Lanie threw him a look that told him not to be so insensitive.

"I'm just trying to look out for my partner", he threw his hands up in defense.

The women shared a small smirk.

"OK, well the main reason I brought you two down here was because I wanted to make sure you were holding on to something when I told you what I'm about to tell you."

"Why?" Beckett asked the M.E, feeling slightly panicked.

"Because I just had the victim's wife come in, and she I.D'd Mr. Doe here as-" she glanced down at their hands to make sure they were indeed holding on to something.

"As who, Lanie?" They both practically screamed at her.

"Carlton Magetti."

Beckett and Castle both leaned in simultaneously to stare at the man that had been dumped inside Castle's living room during the night.

"The insurance magnate?" Beckett squinted up at Lanie.

"Mhm", she nodded.

"Well, that's kinda weird but I don't know if I would consider it so amazing we'd need to hold on to something to hear it", Castle told her, straightening up again.

Lanie held up her gloved index finger. "That's not the amazing part."

"Well, what is then?" Beckett rushed her.

"Mrs. Magetti let slip something veeery interesting about what her husband's favorite hobby was."

"What?" Castle leaned into her, intrigued.

"In his spare time, Mr. Insurance man liked to go around plotting revenge against New York's finest."

"What?" Beckett breathed with disgust.

Lanie nodded sadly. "A few years ago, a dirty cop killed his brother, and since that day Mr. Magetti has had it in for any member of the law enforcement community. And it just so happens, he currently had a sick little thing going for someone in this room."

Beckett's face dropped an inch, and she subconsciously stepped back from the cretin on the slab.

Castle's face contorted with rage. "Creep!" He yelled, making both women jump, and Beckett look at him with raised eyebrows.

"So the sniper who shot Mr. Blake, and made our lives a living hell the last couple of days is lying right here in front of us?" Castle asked Lanie, staring down at the corpse with utter distain.

"Well, his wife seemed pretty adamant that was the case. We'll have to find the murder weapon before we can be sure though, of course."

"Well that's that then. Case solved!" Castle clapped his hands together, and his face brightened.

He thought he saw his partner's face brighten as well, as she looked at him. Lanie shook her head. "Hold on there eager beaver, we may have found the sniper who's been terrorizing our little family, and who took Mr. Blake away from his, but we still don't know who killed the stiff here."

Castle's mouth fell open indignantly. "Oh, come on. Do we really need to seek out justice for this sicko?"

Beckett had a hard time doing it, but she frowned at him. "Castle, there's still a killer on the loose out there. Probably a serial" She reminded him.

He rolled his eyes. Didn't she realize that if the guy who was threatening her life was out of the picture, nothing else mattered to him?

Just then, Beckett's cell phone began to ring in her coat pocket. She pulled it out quickly and answered with her usual greeting. "Beckett."

"Beckett, where are you?" Gates' angry and urgent tone greeted her.

"Uh, Castle and I are at the morgue. We were called down here by Dr. Parish. You're aware that the person that shot Mr. Blake is now lying on her table, aren't you?"

"That's what I'm calling about. I'm afraid there's been another sniper attack."

Beckett's heart dropped, and her face turned as white as the body lying beneath her on the cold, hard examination table.

...

Beckett and Castle were rushed back to the secret basement that would be Beckett's accommodation for the night. Officer Russell sped through town, with his sirens ablaze the whole way.

Descending down the stairs to the darkness of the makeshift precinct, Castle and Beckett felt the spark of hope they'd felt when they had been told by Lanie that their perpetrator had been killed; be completely extinguished.

"Thanks Russ, hey by the way, any word on how Petty's doing?" Beckett asked the young cop who would be keeping watch at the door of the basement overnight.

"He says he'll be fine as long as he gets his donut in the morning" the cop laughed. Beckett cracked a smile. "Good to hear."

She turned toward her partner who was looking expectantly at the cop.

"Hey Castle, thanks for last night and... everything. I'll let you get home to Alexis and I'll see you in the morning, kay?"

"Whoa, what?" Castle chuckled, grabbing her arm. "You think I'm leaving? No way."

Beckett frowned at him. "You need to go and be with your mother and your daughter Castle, I am serious."

"Beckett, Alexis is at her friends house, my mother is out of town at a spa resort, both are exactly where they want to be, and so am I. How many times do I have to tell you this? If there is even the slightest chance that you might be in danger, I. will. not. leave. you. alone" he punctuated every word.

She sighed, defeated and turned around to retrieve the blankets that had been left in a box for her.

Castle turned to Officer Russell. "Thank you Officer, you can 10-19 upstairs."

The officer nodded. "Alright y'all, I'll be just on the top landing."

"Goodnight", Castle smiled, waving him adieu.

The young man climbed the stairs, Castle watched his feet disappear and then turned to gaze upon Beckett as she unfolded a bed sheet onto the cold floor of the basement.

Walking over to her, he spoke out into the dimly lit room. "I realize I probably should have told you my intention to join you, on the ride over here."

Beckett shrugged. "Why? It's not like my feelings about it would have mattered."

Castle winced at her words. "You don't want me to be here?"

Beckett sighed, throwing down a woolen blanket. "I don't want either of us to be here."

Castle nodded, understanding. "Fair enough. You want to run down suspects when you're done there?"

"No, I just want to go to bed, Castle. I hate to say this, but the sniper is not going to disappear during the night."

"Kate..."

"You know what Castle, I can't keep doing this. I am sick of running over the guilt and of feeling the constant pressure to catch the bad guy. These past few months, Dr. Burke has made me realize that I am not the only cop in this city...Sometimes I need to let things go and just... rest." She blinked tiredly and held her hand up to the light switch on the wall beside her.

She raised her eyebrows in an inaudible request to turn out the lights which Castle answered by silently moving to the bed she had just made and lying down in it.

Her breath caught in her throat a little as she took him in, lying there in the soft light, holding the blanket open for her.

She hit the switch and found her way to his side in the dark. The radiance of his unwavering protection for her, the only guiding light she needed, to see by.

...

"Kate? Kate. Kate!"

Beckett groaned sleepily as she was jerked awake by Castle's voice.

"Castle?" She looked around, trying to see but it was still pitch black in the room.

A little paranoid at one of her senses being inhibited, she reached beside her to find his shirt collar. "What is it? Are you OK?" She asked him, bringing her hand up to hold his cheek.

The sweet tone of her concern filled his ears and he lay there for a moment, letting her touch create tingles on his skin.

"Castle?" Her panic came quick, following his lack of response.

"Y-Yeah, sorry... Listen, there is obviously a tag team thing happening here, two or more people bouncing off each other, creating fear in a whole bunch of lives, least of all, yours. At least one of them has some sick personal vendetta against you-" His voice caught as he felt a sudden urge to punch a wall. He counted backwards from ten, before resuming. "Aren't you chomping at the bit to take these bastards down? Not Espo, not Ryan, NOT Gates, but you, taking them out with your own hands. If it were me, I wouldn't be able to think about anything else but watching the life drain out of their faces."

Beckett closed her eyes, she was pretty sure he'd already been thinking that way. But why after he had told her to stop tracking down her mother's killer, would he now be encouraging her to start this kind of chase all over again?

"Ha", he broke her chain of thought with a snap of his fingers. "And that's another thing, why would Magetti's wife suddenly come forward about her husband's involvement when she would risk implicating herself? Is it just me or is this case becoming really, really confusing?"

"Yeah well, trying to figure things out at two a.m will do that to you", Beckett moaned, rolling away from him and closing her eyes.

"Are you- are you going back to sleep?" Castle asked her sounding like a child at a slumber party.

She sighed into her pillow. "I was making an attempt at it, yeah."

"I just don't know how you're suddenly able to be so removed from this", he said after a moment.

Beckett sat bolt upright on the mattress, instantly and shot him daggers, though he could not see. "Castle, you _told_ me to be! I don't know why _you_ are all of a sudden so intent on me being a part of this particular case. Even if it is related in some way to my shooting, or even to my mother's murder."

Castle jumped back, a little intimidated by her tone. He took a moment to run over in his mind, how much of his hand he was prepared to show her right here, right now. "Because, I know that when the time comes that we finally manage to track down the guy that arranged your mom's murder, if you're not the one to solve it, to slap the cuffs on the murderous dog, then that wall that you told me about at the start of the fall, will never come down for you. Sure, it might have a few cracks form in it, but the bricks won't all completely come down. And I don't even know if you realize it Kate, but those bricks _are_ coming down, one by one. And very slowly, I can see little glimmers of light starting to shine through."

There was a long silence as they both breathed slowly in the blackness of the basement.

"Thank you, Castle", He finally heard her voice, or at least he thought he did. For a short while he thought he might have imagined it. Until she continued throatily. "I remember that day in the fall when I told you about this wall I have inside, you told me that we were just going to have to find these guys and take them down. We. As in both of us. Together."

"I did."

"I'd never been more grateful for your presence in my life than I was in that moment. And what my therapist has made me realize over the past nine months is that whether you're there to kick the bricks aside after they fall of their own accord, or whether you have to be the one to take them down by hand. You're the only one that I want there, when that wall is finally demolished."

Castle could hear her sniffling beside him, trying to hold back tears that were imminent.

"I'll be there Kate. I'm waiting there already... But Kate?"

"Yeah?", she choked out.

She shivered as his hand found the back of her neck, and began tracing soft circles on it.

"Just make sure it's that wall that ends up falling, and not you."

Kate reached behind her to take his hand and used it to guide herself into his in-expectant arms. "I'm going to try not to, OK? I promise you that I'm going to try. But if I do end up falling, like you said; you'll be waiting there to catch me... right?"

He tightened his hold on her and rested his cheek on top of her head, feeling more at ease than he had done, in months.

"Always."


	3. Chapter 3

Officer Russell came downstairs at precisely 8 am the next morning, and found the mystery writer and the detective in exactly the position you would expect a crime fighting duo to be in; glued to the computer.

"Morning y'all", the cop hollered out.

"Russell. Good night?" Castle greeted him.

"If you can call freezing your patootie off, while going insane with boredom, good; then yeah, not bad", the officer shrugged, a small smile on his face.

Castle smiled back. "Well, at least you get to go home now, without the fear of some madman breaking into your place."

"Yeah, well, my brother's staying with me at the moment. Does that count?" The young man asked jokingly.

Castle laughed, as did Beckett, though the latter didn't turn around from the computer screen.

"Alright, well you two keep out of trouble, you hear?" Russell said, turning around to leave.

"Yeah, right", Beckett raised her eyebrows, smirking.

"It's us you're talking about", Castle told him, with a grin.

"See ya", the cop grinned back, leaving the pair alone again.

"His brother sounds...intriguing, huh?" Castle joked.

"Aw, Castle, you should've asked him for his number. He sounds like your kind of guy", Beckett teased him.

"Ha ha."

Beckett giggled.

"His brother..." Castle said, sounding far off.

"Huh?" Beckett questioned him.

"Magetti's brother... Do we know what he did to piss off the cops enough to get killed by one of them?"

"That cop was dirty, it may not have been anything", Beckett shrugged.

"Only according to Magetti's wife was the cop dirty. We should be investigating this further, it could be the link between our straight up insurance broker and the crime world."

"OK, did we get the brother's name?" Beckett asked him, perking up, finally looking away from the information they'd managed to find on the history of Jack Potter.

He reached into his pocket for his phone. "I'll call Lanie and ask."

Beckett's phone rang just that second, she picked it up quickly off the computer desk. She smiled. "Even better." She held up the cellphone to Castle, the caller I.D said "Lanie Parish."

"Morning Lanie", Beckett greeted her friend.

"Hey girl, you sleep alright down there... wherever it is you are? Seems even your best friend isn't allowed to know", Lanie frowned through the phone.

"Yeah, I know, sorry. I slept well though, thanks, apart from Castle's incessant chatter right in the middle of sleep o'clock", she turned to Castle, her eyes glistening playfully.

He threw his hands up innocently.

"Wait, you and Castle..."

Beckett's eyes went wide as she realized what she'd just divulged to her very suspicious friend. "Um, did you call for something in particular, Dr. Parish?"

"Yeees", Lanie drawled out, Beckett could practically see her narrowed eyes, reluctant to divert, however she had actually called for more than chit chat.

"Guess who is lying on my table this morning. Our latest... sniper victim."

Beckett was too impatient to scold Lanie for her hesitation in using the word. "Who?"

"Brent Tolliver. The _real_ Brent Tolliver."

Beckett's mouth fell open.

"What?" Castle asked her.

"Last night's victim? Is Brent Tolliver."

"Shut the front door!" Castle's mouth fell open as far as Beckett's had.

"Yup, thought that might make you happy Castle. Seems karma finally caught up on the scumbag."

Castle snatched the phone out of Beckett's hand, surprisingly she didn't try to wrestle it back. "Hey Lanie, what did Magetti's wife say the name of her husband's brother was? The one who was killed by the dirty cop."

"Ah, I think it was Billy, yeah Billy, that's what she called him."

Beckett typed in "Billy Magetti" into the criminal database. Her brow furrowed, and she clicked the mouse a couple of times. "That's weird", she said, shaking the mouse fervently.

"What?"

"The same page just keeps re-loading. It won't move off it."

"Probably frozen, this computer's about a hundred years old."

"No, it can't be frozen, the mouse is moving", Beckett told him.

"There a problem?" Lanie's impatient monotone came over the cellphone.

"Just the stupid computer playing up", Castle told her. "Try scrolling up and down", he told Beckett.

She rolled her eyes at him. "That never works Castle."

He shrugged. "Maybe not, but somehow it makes the wait go faster."

She shook her head at him, but boredom and annoyance overtook her and she found herself scrolling the mouse up and down the page as he'd suggested.

"Oh my god", she said suddenly.

"What?" Castle and Lanie asked at once.

Castle leaned into the computer to find what had caused her to be so shocked.

"This page is all about Jack Potter right? The war criminal."

"Yeah, and?"

Beckett tapped the screen with her finger; excitedly. "The reason it won't move off this page is because this page has the only reference to Billy Magetti on it. Look."

Castle leaned across Beckett to read the screen. "William "Billy" Magetti was arrested by Chicago police in '98 after being dishonorably discharged from the war in Iraq. Magetti killed seventeen civilians, in unauthorized attacks. Magetti escaped capture when he ruthlessly killed a chicago cop, aided by his then fiance, in a well orchestrated prison break. Magetti was in the wind for five years, until he was found in New York City and identified as - oh my god."

Beckett's eyebrows wiggled. "I know, right?"

Castle looked shocked and impressed all at once.

"GUYS!" Lanie's angry voice yelled through the phone, making it vibrate in Castle's hand.

Castle wheezed. breathless. "Sorry Lanie... it's just, William Magetti is... Jack Potter."

"It gets better, keep reading", Beckett told him.

"Magetti, now under the alias Jack Potter; again alluded cops again in 2004, whereafter he was never found again. Though in 2008, he was thought to have formed an association with Brent Tolliver, who belonged to a widespread human trafficking operation..." Castle's eyes widened and he looked at Beckett. "Tolliver and Potter, our two fake identities." The pitch of Castle's voice raised about an octave.

"So Billy Magetti is still alive."

"Well that makes one of the Magetti brothers. So Carlton Magetti and Brent Tolliver are both killed in the space of two days? Our connection has to be Carlton's brother; Billy."

"Yeah, the guy that everybody thought was dead. Chances are, if he planted his Potter I.D on his brother, and his partner Brent Tolliver's I.D on Henry Blake, then he's trying to rid himself of all his old ties."

"And that makes him our prime suspect now, right?"

Beckett nodded, as she slumped back into her chair. "And now he probably has a new identity, making it impossible to tie him to any of his past indiscretions."

There was a silence as they sat mulling over all the new information they'd just received.

"So he killed his brother, and his partner and probably Henry Blake, and now he could be anyone..." Beckett shook her head, gritting her teeth.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt", Esposito's voice came behind them, startling them both.

"Geez, ever heard of knocking?" Castle scolded him, trying to still his racing heart.

"If y'all don't mind I have a report to write. I'll talk to you later Kate. Bye Castle. Javier." Her lips sounded tight when she muttered the name of her former lover.

Esposito straightened up, and he pursed his lips. "Lanie", he murmured back in farewell.

Castle closed Beckett's phone and handed it back to her, with a look toward Esposito.

"Sorry guys, but I have something you might want to hear."

"What is it Espo?" Beckett questioned him.

"We just managed to track down the crane that the sniper was on when he sent that bullet flyin' into the 12th. Construction company that hires them out says it was leased to Eddie Mayer, the owner of the building. We processed the crane and pulled a couple of prints off the positioning lever. Prints belong to Eddie Mayer."

Beckett frowned. "Why would the owner of the building be controlling the crane?"

"Here's where it gets interesting. On a hunch, Ryan ran the prints against all the other ones pertaining to the case. You'll never guess who they match", he handed Beckett the AFIS search print and grinned as her face registered surprise. "Eddie Mayer. AKA Jack Potter."

Castle's mouth fell open. "AKA... Billy Magetti."

"Ryan discovered this?" Beckett asked him, her face glowing with admiration.

Esposito nodded, with pride in his partner.

"Give that man a beer!" Castle cheered.

"Hey, Esposito, did Lanie tell you where Mrs. Magetti lives?"

"Yeah, she..." Esposito paused and looked at Castle with a glare. How had he known he and Lanie were back together?

Castle looked at him, his face a picture of innocence.

Esposito sighed... pointless trying to hide it from him now.

"She has a room at the Hotel Chelsea, evidently, she and her Insurance hubby were close to opening up their pre-nuptual agreement."

"And we KNOW Mr. Magetti would have had a _nice_ life insurance policy taken out for himself."

Beckett's eyes lit up with purpose. "I think we ought to pay a little visit to Mrs. Magetti."

...

"Mrs. Magetti, NYPD, open up!"

Lerlyn Magetti had not picked up when the NYPD homicide devision had tried to get in touch with her. So now, coated in their vests, three bearing the words "Police" and one bearing the word "Writer", Castle, Beckett, Ryan and Esposito stood outside the door of Mrs. Magetti's hotel room, flanked by an armed cop.

With a short nod in Esposito's direction, Beckett signaled for him to kick down the door of room 227.

Gun drawn, Beckett entered the room first, as per usual, followed by Ryan, then Esposito and then, only after she hollered out "Clear", from Mrs. Magetti's bedroom, was the writer, and only one without a gun; finally allowed entry.

"She's not here", Beckett frowned. "Put out an APB on her, please - Lerlyn Magetti", she told one of the cops.

"Beckett..." Castle called over to his partner, from the suspect's compact kitchen.

"What have you got?" She walked over to join him in the small space.

On top of the minibar sat a grouping of pictures, of her and of Henry Blake. The pictures were all taken with a long-lense.

Beckett's eyes scanned the pictures fervently. "He was stalking me."

"Or she was", Castle said, his throat catching.

She gave him a disturbed look.

He shrugged. "She is a viable suspect. We know she was lying about her husband being a stalker, I think it's clear that the brother and her are working together. She obviously had some involvement in all of this."

"But why would she do that to Carlton? The motive of the life insurance is weak, it's got to be more than that."

Castle's brow raised as he studied one of the photos of his partner. "I don't know, greed is an awfully popular reason to kill someone."

The uniform, who was on the phone to PD, informing them of the obligation to find Lerlyn Magetti, was circling the room, and therefor didn't see the middle-aged man in a hooded grey sweatshirt, carrying a rifle, appear at the door, and freeze at the sight of the cops in his lover's room.

But Beckett saw him.

Just before he bolted for it.

"Magetti" She ran for the door, drawing her gun from its holster. "Stop, Police!" She ran for the stairwell, just catching the sight of his hooded head disappear down the steps beneath her. He was running fast, faster than she could run with the tugging of her scar at her abdomen. But he didn't count on her cat like skills, and as he neared the bottom of the staircase, she pounced.

She landed on Magetti with a thump. Pausing slightly when she saw the rifle near him, she quickly recovered and picked the weapon up, tossing it aside, out of his reach.

Castle's footsteps rushed down behind her, and she felt a sudden surge of relief and comfort. She reached into her belt and pulled out her cuffs, bringing them roughly to Magetti's wrists. Castle was there quickly to lift Magetti up, with probably more roughness than necessary.

Beckett inhaled and found her voice. "William Magetti, you are under arrest for... crimes too numerous to mention."

...

"So... William Magetti, or is it Jack Potter... oh no, I'm sorry, it's Eddie Mayer now isn't it?" Beckett snarled in Magetti's direction.

Magetti's lips remained tightened as they prepared to grill him in the makeshift interrogation room; a small conference room downstairs at the Chelsea Hotel.

"We've got Illinois police on the phone... they are very, VERY anxious to see you again", Castle's lip curled.

Magetti coughed, he looked pained.

"Sooo, we can either put you in irons, get you a first class ticket to Chicago in the police van, let the guys over there deal with you, the guys whose friend you shot down like a dog", she paused to glare intimidatingly at Magetti. "Or you cooperate with us now, tell us where your moll is..."

"Don't you call her that!" Magetti's temper instantly came alive.

"You traffic human beings, innocent people, and she sleeps with you? Which part of calling her a moll am I getting wrong?"

"You don't know a god damned thing!" Magetti's face flared up.

"Well now would be a terrific time to start filling us in", she yelled back.

Magetti shook his head. "We were engaged, Lerlyn and I, you know that?"

Beckett took a step back, she hadn't known that at all. The revelation intriguing her.

"Yeah, fifteen years ago... god I can't believe it's been that long", the man looked almost sentimental, but then his face twisted back to uncontrollable rage. "When I took off, I told Lerlyn I would be back for her... I was gone three months, and when I came back to our home, she was there, on MY couch...with my brother", His face contorted so much, it could have been mistaken for that of a pug dog.

"Why didn't you just kill them then?" Beckett asked airily.

He shook his head. "I didn't want to kill Lerlyn, I loved her... I still love her."

"But you wanted your brother dead though didn't you Billy? And so when your business partner, Brent Tolliver suggested you move your operation to the much more populous NYC, you figured now was your chance", Castle mused.

"So you had plenty of money from your new "business", but why go through the whole debacle of pretending to be the beneficiary of a steel tycoon grandfather, and build up a company, next door to the one man you hated more than anyone."

"There were people in this world I hate far more than Carlton. Honestly, I wanted to see if he even recognized me. It had been eleven years and, I'd changed so much... we both had. We'd met a couple of times to go over site supervision agreements and that sort of thing, I assumed correctly. With a new name and a spiffy suit, he didn't know me from Larry." Magetti let out a bark of laughter. "Bastard even offered to set up liability insurance for the new firm." He shook his head. "I was always a crafty son of a bitch, but that guy was a swindler, through and through. Cheated me out of all my baseball cards when we were kids."

"So what happened with Tolliver, your business partner, why kill him? He start pocketing profits from your little slave operation, on the sly?" Castle asked him, smoothly.

The twisted smile on Magetti's face turned upside down. "I just told you there were people in the world that I hate far more than my little brother. And one of them was General Arnold Straker. Tough as guts military man out of Branson. Born with a rifle in his hand, you know. I swear this guy was part walrus."

"Oh that's right, you served under him in Iraq, where you KILLED SEVENTEEN CIVILIANS!" Beckett returned to her spot in front of the suspect's face.

Magetti leaned forward on his hands. "Yeah, I killed those people, under HIS orders."

"Oh that's a convenient truth, I'm guessing General Straker is dead now, right?"

"Oh no, he's very much alive", Magetti spoke menacingly. "Which is why Tolliver is not."

"What's the connection between him and Tolliver?"

Magetti swallowed as he straightened up in his chair. "I want to make a deal."

Beckett and Castle looked at each other. Beckett chuckled cruelly "I don't think so."

Magetti looked defiant. "Then I won't talk."

Beckett shrugged, moving to leave the room. "OK...give my regards to the cubs."

Magetti panicked. "Wait!" He looked at Beckett, defeated.

"I'll talk but... you have to promise me Lerlyn won't pay for any of my mistakes... or her idiot husband's."

Beckett slammed her hands down on the table in front of him. "Tell us what you know. All of it."

Magetti hesitated for only a moment longer. "Tolliver and I were doing business together. We started... acquiring women, mostly right off the boat, no where else to go, totally unassuming."

Castle scowled, disgusted.

Beckett closed her eyes. "How did you "acquire" these women?"

"Tolliver had a guy in Immigration."

Beckett made a mental note to ask more about this "guy" later, right now, she needed to find out where Lerlyn Magetti was.

Castle frowned. "Straker?"

Beckett looked at him. That was actually a valid idea that he'd thought of before her. Damn.

"No, Straker was... a buyer", Magetti looked at the table.

Castle and Beckett's eyebrows raised simultaneously.

"So, did Tolliver confront him on your behalf and end up getting killed for his trouble?"

Magetti snorted. "That would imply that Tolliver had some sense of morality."

Beckett waited for him to continue.

"Tolliver and I never talked about our pasts, neither of us are the kind of badasses that like to brag about all the stuff we've pulled during our lives. So when I saw in the accounts that this Russian girl... Olya, was set to be sold to a certain tough-nut general, I knew Tolliver had no idea what kind of ass-faced prick he was sending the poor girl to."

"Don't tell me you suddenly developed a conscience", Beckett said, doubtfully.

"I wouldn't wish a _second_ with that fat lump of incompetence, on anyone", he hissed.

"So you argued with Tolliver about sending Olya to him, and he resisted."

Magetti nodded. "Straker had already made the transfer."

"And so you killed him for indulging the sick joy that would be brought to the one man you wanted to bring nothing but agony to."

"I killed those civilians, but mostly to put them out of their misery. By the time he was finished raping and torturing them, they were begging me to", Magetti said, tears forming in his eyes.

Castle and Beckett took a moment to recover from the bombshell of his words.

Beckett spoke to the cop who had been flanking them earlier. "Put a BOLO out on General Arnold Straker."

The cop nodded and exited the small meeting room. Castle and Beckett's heads were beginning to spin. This was one case Castle really was not looking forward to solving, because it would probably mean having to hear more despicable tales of the slave trade and all the creeps and pedophiles and that were involved in it.

Beckett inhaled a shaky breath before continuing, letting herself and Magetti control themselves again.

"So, that's where you learned all of your sniper training, in Iraq?"

"From Straker, yeah", Magetti admitted, regretfully.

"So that's Tolliver and Magetti out of the way, but what about Henry Blake? He was an innocent man, with a wife and kids, surely he wasn't another buyer?" Castle asked, hoping the answer would be a negative.

At this question, Magetti seemed to look the most perturbed. "Before we got smart and started working off the grid, Blake somehow tapped into our online operation. He never ratted us out, but Tolliver thought it was only a matter of time. Another thing we disagreed on."

Beckett shook her head in dismay. "He had a family, to protect. He wasn't going to give you up and risk hurting them", Beckett scowled at Magetti.

"William, if you go to bed, thinking about those Iraqi women, if their faces haunt your dreams half as often as I think you do, if you think about Olya and just die inside a little bit every time you do because you couldn't protect her, then for once in your life do something right in the world... I know you didn't start off as this person, you were raised by parents who raised another son, a good man, and if you feel any regret at all for what you've done to him, or to anyone along the way, then you'll tell us where Lerlyn is."

Magetti sighed, looking agonized. "Most nights I just want to die. I'm such a good shot that the thought of suicide terrifies me. I hate myself for not having the courage to die for what I've done... and I hate them, Tolliver and Straker for turning me into this, and then I hate her because she killed my brother..."

"We know", Beckett told him softly. She hadn't known it was Lerlyn, specifically, but she'd figured as much once she'd found out they'd been having an affair behind Carlton Magetti's back.

The man in front of her wasn't worthy of being shat on, but she needed to be gentle, so as not to spook him, they were so close to their target.

The writer and the detective waited patiently for him to tell them what they needed to know. Finally, almost inaudibly, he answered their silent demand.

"JFK... you better hurry, her plane leaves in half an hour."

...

Beckett and Castle sat in the black SUV, traveling at break-neck speed down the I-678.

They had sat in silence for the last ten miles, but as they drew nearer to their destination, Beckett could no longer bite down her tongue and continue to mask her terror.

"Castle, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything", he told her straight away.

"You'll stay in the car."

"Anything but that."

Beckett felt her face burn with fury, with rage, with... ah, screw it, with lust for his strong character, and his determined protection for her, with embarrassment because she was sure he could see how much that fiery determination turned her on, and with heart ache because she loved him and could not bear it if anything were to happen to him.

"Castle, please", those damn salty, drops of water, clouded her eyes again.

"Kate. How many damn times do we have to go over this? You are my partner. My job is to have your back."

Beckett let the tears fall, she reminded herself that Dr. Burke encouraged tears, he told her they only came naturally when people spoke the truth.

"It is not your job Castle, you are a writer! I will not let you waste your life over me!' she cried out, hoping deep down he would counter her argument again, she needed someone who would at least pretend to promise to give their life for her, and she wanted it to be him, so desperately.

"Beckett, when are you going to figure it out? You ARE my life!" He yelled out, surprising himself.

Her reaction surprised him more though.

Her lips were doused in salt from her tears, and they wet his face as their lips clashed together, hard. She whimpered as she grabbed the sides of his vest to keep his mouth locked to hers. Not really kissing passionately, more feeling him close to her, their mouths were still and perfect against each other. The kiss was brief and emotional, as if it were a dream. His hand came to her cheek as they pulled apart, and he dried the tears from it.

She nodded to him, in acceptance of his offer to "have her back", he tugged on a lock of her hair, bringing her back to him, gently, where they rested their heads together for one last intimate touch, as their vehicle pulled into the airport.

...

Beckett and her boys raced along the long length of the JFK main terminal. The flight to Kiev, where Lerlyn Magetti had planned to meet her lover in three days time, to re-establish connections with illegal Ukrainian immigration centers, at the source was set to depart in ten minutes.

They arrived at the departure lounge for American Airlines Flight AA6139 to Kiev, Ukraine. Rows upon rows of the backs of heads greeted them. Not wanting to arouse panic in the room, Beckett shouted out to the passengers who were set to board their flight in just a couple of minutes time. "Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Detective Kate Beckett, I need you to stay in your seats for now, don't move anywhere, please", she made her way along the rows, scanning them quickly for their suspect.

Castle moved to stand on the other side of the lounge, spreading his arms out in front of him, as if he intended to tackle the suspect if she tried to get away.

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a white overcoat, stood up from her seat and proceeded to walk toward the bathroom.

"Ma'am, ma'am please sit down", Beckett called out when she noticed the woman's movement.

Esposito caught the blonde's defiant actions and he squinted in her direction as she kept walking toward the direction of the bathroom.

"I need to use the ladies before we board", she called back to Beckett, not stopping.

"There's a lavatory on the plane, you can use very soon, sit down, now."

"Beckett, It's her, it's Magetti!" Esposito hollered out quickly, as the woman broke into a run

Castle whipped his attention to Esposito, as the woman raced past him. He ran to grab her and they wrestled, until she hit him with her purse. Castle, not being particularly machismo, recoiled from the woman's blow, and stumbled back slightly. He recovered in time to grab her wrist and she dropped the bag. But something shiny had been pulled out of it, and as the boarding call for flight AA6139 began over the loud speaker, the sharp, glinting object was thrust into the side of Castle's head.

He never heard which rows were called first.

Neither did Lerlyn Magetti, as she dropped to her knees, after receiving three gunshots to the back.

Beckett couldn't breathe, the walls of the airport seemed to cave in, and the sound of the airline hostesses voice over the loudspeaker became a blur, as her vision tunneled in on her mystery writer, lying on the floor of a busy JFK terminal, blood spilling from his brilliant head.

**A/N: So this is basically where the current case wraps up... now is where the story REALLY begins :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much everyone for your beautiful reviews - they are much appreciated!**

The ambulance sped, lights flashing and sirens ablaze, on its quest to Mount Sinai Hospital.

Beckett sat next to her partner and... well, actually, what exactly he was to her, she wasn't quite sure at the moment. All she knew right now is what she was going to have to be to him from now on; a pillar of support, a confidante and most importantly; a friend.

Her chest heaved as she tried holding back tears. She held his hand and spoke to him, as if he were conscious. "Richard Castle, don't even think about leaving me. And think about your books, all the joy you give people. Your public will never forgive you if you don't get Heat and Rook back together", she laughed, but the laughter choked her, and ended as a sob.

"Ma'am, we're doing everything we can for your friend", the young paramedic monitoring Castle's weak vital signs told her.

"We're doing everything we can" - the standard issue line that every person in the medical or justice profession was trained to offer to families of the victims. It came right after "I'm sorry for your loss."

She had uttered those words to distraught families so many times, and suddenly, she loathed the phrase, it was just so inadequate.

She didn't reply to him, she just lowered her head back to her writer, hoping upon all hope that the standard issue line #1 would not be used on her, today.

They pulled into the hospital and it was suddenly all on.

Mixed with the adrenaline of the rush to save someone's life, and the sickening nostalgia of her time at this hospital, Beckett tried to focus on Castle, but was pushed out of the way by at least six doctors.

Beckett stumbled back from Castle's side, feeling dejected and all of a sudden, the adrenaline wore off, and all she felt, was fear.

"Kate?"

Oh shit. Him. She'd forgotten her former boyfriend worked here. OK, now the adrenaline was back.

"Josh", was all she could manage.

"Come on", he said, offering her his hand. She took it and then he was dragging her through the hospital's ER, he led her to the door of a doctor's work station.

"Wait here for a sec", he instructed her, like she could actually get her legs to move on their own.

He disappeared into the crowded room of medical professionals. She could faintly hear words like "Sub-dural hematoma" and "Substantial nerve damage."

Her heart travelled very quickly to her throat, and she could feel her knees buckle, Then her former lover came to her side again, and she looked up at him, desperate for information.

"They're taking him to surgery right away. The knife wound grazed his temporal lobe, which has caused his brain to bleed out, and we won't know until after the surgery, but he may have lasting brain damage."

Josh put his hand out to steady her as she gasped and put her hand to her head.

"Beckett!" Esposito's voice shouted out behind her. Heavy footsteps drowned out the noise of the busy hospital, and suddenly Beckett was pulled away from the surgeon's touch and into the strong arms of the latino detective.

"Josh", he greeted him curtly.

"Detective Esposito", Josh greeted him back, with a reticent smile.

"How is he?" Esposito directed the question to his leader.

She lifted away from him, and straightened up as much as her body would allow. "He's going to surgery now. They think he might be brain damaged", she swallowed,

Esposito sighed. "Lerlyn's dead, Billy just signed a confession. The bastards that did this; they're toast Kate, we got them. We got justice for Castle, and that's the best thing we could have done for him."

Beckett shook her head, shaking the tears out of her eyes. She knew there were many other things she could do for him, things she should have already done for him.

"I got to go and do a report for Lanie. I called her and told her what happened. She wants to come by later, so we'll be here as soon as we're done OK? Whatever...", he took a moment to calm his own nerves. "Whatever happens, we're going to be here for you."

The female detective hugged him tightly. "Thanks Javi, for everything."

Esposito smiled shakily and waited until he turned away from her to break down.

She watched him walk down the hall, his shoulders shaking and suddenly realized how many lives Richard Castle had made a little bit brighter that day four years ago, when he walked into the 12th Precinct and announced that he was there for research. She didn't know at what point it stopped being about the books, but she knew it had happened long ago.

She turned and found Dr. Davidson standing with his hands in his doctor's coat pockets.

"You and Castle... are you two?..."

Kate inhaled slowly, as she regarded him. "I don't know."

He nodded silently. She imagined Castle butting in at this point, with a "Well, this is awkward."

"Castle is brilliant with words, but..." she cracked a small smile. "He just can't seem to put them into action."

It sounded not like it should have, as she thought about the content of the Nikki Heat books. She blushed.

Josh raised an eyebrow. "And, you want him to... do that?"

Oh, really awkward.

Kate grimaced slightly as she spoke to her former lover. She thought he probably had figured out by this point that she'd wanted Castle to put his words into action before the two of them even got together.

"Yeah, I do."

It took a lot of "mantrol" for Josh to do what he did next. He walked up to his ex-girlfriend, who had broken his heart, on the first day of last autumn, and placed his bear-like, strong hands on her arms. "Does he make you happy?"

Her head swam. She realized how disconnected her and Josh had really been during their relationship. If he couldn't see how happy Richard Castle had made her. She didn't consider her life over the past thirteen years to be a barrel of laughs, but if one man had come close to an attempt at it; it was him. He made her happi-er than anyone she'd ever known.

"Yes, he does", she answered back, a little indignantly.

Josh surveyed her with a stern expression. "I just want you to be happy Kate."

Beckett's eyes softened. "I know."

"And you know that if he hurts you, I will have to break some of his bones."

She looked at him dubiously. He winced. "Sorry, probably not the best thing to say, under the circumstances."

She shook her head. "No... You're not doing the surgery are you?" She asked him,

He could hear the ghost of a jibe in her voice, and so he chuckled. "No, but I will be attending."

"I guess that's alright", she tried to smile to not sound harsh.

He turned to leave and Beckett balled up all of her confidence into one sentence. "I am sorry, Josh."

The surgeon turned around slowly, until he stood facing her, his face full of unreadable emotions. "We'll take care of him, Kate", he promised her.

When he was out of sight, Beckett collapsed on the floor, sobs wracking her body.

This time, no one came to her side.

...

Beckett sat on a hard wooden bench, waiting... the waiting was always the agonizing part, and she had been watching the analog wall clock tick tock for the last two hours and thirty four... nope, thirty five minutes.

She realized this was probably exactly how it had been for Castle, a year ago, when she was in this life and death predicament. At least, the assailant in his case had been caught; or killed rather. But he was forced to sit, helpless, unassured that the person he loved would make it through the night.

Beckett wondered if he'd ever told anyone of his profession of love to her, right before she passed out. She felt brand new resentment for Lerlyn Magetti, bubble in the pit of her stomach, as she wished she'd had the chance, even just a moment with him after he'd been stabbed, to tell him the same thing he'd told her in that cemetery.

"I love you, Castle... Rick, I love you", she said aloud to a crowded room. No one heard her.

"I'm looking for my dad, his name is Richard...Richard Castle." Beckett heard the voice of Alexis Castle from somewhere near. She spun around and her eyes fixed quickly on the red hair, atop the teenager, standing in front of the information desk, evidently lost in communication with the grey-heard receptionist.

"Alexis!" She shouted, before she knew the name had even come to her mind.

"Detective Beckett", she looked... determined, but was she angry, furious, or livid?Beckett couldn't quite identify.

Alexis neared the detective and she prepared herself for a verbal lashing, perhaps even a physical one.

The lashing she received was indeed decidedly physical, as, in a surprise attack; Alexis barreled the lady cop over, with a hug.

Ah, relief... really?

Beckett wasn't sure if she believed it was real. Then again, she had saved her dad eight times - she had also risked his life nine times, so perhaps it didn't amount for much...

"I'm glad you're OK. Grams is still a couple of hundred miles away at that spa, it's going to take her a little while to get home... at least a night. So I just really glad you're here, I don't know what I'd do."

...But the present evidence was telling her that the young girl was indeed feeling relief, but for what reason? Her Dad was lying on a surgical table, bleeding from the brain. Beckett needed to ascertain how much the girl knew.

"Alexis, you know your dad is in surgery right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I got your voice message... thanks."

Beckett took the young girl's hand. "I need you to understand that your dad may not come back to us. Not fully to the way he was, anyway."

"That might be a good thing", Alexis managed a joke in a bad situation - she was truly her father's daughter.

Beckett smiled, and suddenly felt a rush of admiration for the girl.

Alexis seemed to be considering Beckett before she made her next move. "I know about Dad's will. I know what he's got written in there. And I just want you to know that... I'm OK with it."

His will? Oh, right, the whole naming Beckett as Alexis's guardian thing... Oh hell, that's big.

She suddenly saw the teenager in a whole new light. She grabbed the red head by the shoulders. "You know what? Nothing would make me prouder than to call you my own. You're a special, beautiful young woman Alexis. And I already feel the kind of pride in you that a parent feels in their child."

Alexis glowed as a tear ran down her cheek.

Beckett gave her a watery smile. "But if it's all the same to you... I'd really rather that didn't have to happen."

Alexis exhaled with a smile, then her face turned serious. "My dad... You love him don't you?"

Kate froze momentarily, her head span again. "Perhaps I should eat something", she thought briefly to herself.

She opened her mouth, not quite sure of her reply.

"Kate", Dr. Davidson called softly behind her. He looked at Alexis and then back at his former girlfriend. "He's out of surgery."

...

Kate stood with Alexis, allowing the young girl to step forward in front of her.

The teenager looked through the window of the recovery room, and placed a hand on it, as if she was reaching out to comfort her father.

He was hooked up to an endless supply of chords, tubes and breathing apparati.

Josh came up behind the two ladies. "His oxygen levels are good. The machine is allowing for that though of course. His brain is getting what it needs to survive on its own."

"How long before we can take those things off of him?" Alexis asked the surgeon.

"We'll have to wait and see, more than likely, we'll try it in a couple of days."

Beckett turned around. Josh was standing close to her. She smiled at him, and nudged him with her shoulder. "What are you doing out here? This isn't part of your job."

"It's a surgeon's prerogative to communicate with the family, if they so desire."

"You weren't the surgeon and I'm not technically family", Beckett told him.

A coy smile dressed his features. "I know, I realize now, I probably shouldn't have let you in here."

She looked at him with a smirk. "You know me better than to try and keep me out."

He smirked back. A moments silence engulfed them while she looked into the room and watched him lying there, so helpless to get up and interrupt their banter, like he usually would. She bit her lip. "I love him, Josh."

His smirk faltered, but, surprisingly didn't disappear totally.

"I know."

Beckett's eyes lit up - it was almost like he was telling her he knew before she did.

"And he is a very lucky guy", he said, taking one more step toward her.

Beckett sighed. Josh leaned forward and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"I hope I never see you again", he told her. She recoiled for a moment, before she registered what he actually meant, and then she stepped back into him, to touch him gently on the shoulder. She hoped her eyes were conveying the appreciation she felt.

He gave her one last smile, telling her they did. "Goodbye Kate."

And just like that; he was gone.

...

Beckett and Alexis sat on a bench, identical to the one in the ER, heads resting together, trying in vain to shut out the fluorescent brightness of the lights and get some sleep.

"Hey", a soft female voice greeted them, as Beckett felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

She looked up, to where the face of her best friend greeted her. She reached up and hugged Lanie tightly. Esposito and Ryan were standing right behind her.

The three of them took turns hugging Beckett and Alexis.

"How is he doing?" Lanie asked Beckett, sitting down beside her.

Beckett shrugged, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She yawned. "He's just... recovering. We don't really know what's going on yet, neither do the doctors. He's still hooked up to all the machines and stuff."

Lanie gave Beckett a sad smile.

"Man, this is so weird. It's like de ja vu all over again", Ryan said.

"That's an exhausted phrase", Alexis suddenly chimed in. "De ja vu, all over again?" The one kinda cancels the other out", she shrugged.

The adults looked at her, all with grins on their faces. "Truly your father's daughter", Beckett smiled at her, placing a hand on her back.

Alexis smiled back, perhaps slightly embarrassed, but pleased all the same.

"What did you mean about de ja vu, Ryan?" Beckett asked the Irish detective, placing her tired head in her hand.

The group exchanged glances. "Well, it's just, a year ago, your shooting - I think you were in this same room, actually."

Beckett lifted her head. "God, really?" She suddenly had the urge to take everything in around her.

She stood up and looked at Castle in his hospital bed. It was possible she'd once been in that very bed. That insinuated the idea of her and Castle sharing a bed.

Oh Dammit.

She tore herself away from the mirror and turned back to the guys., changing the subject. "Ryan, I hear you broke our case."

Ryan shuffled on his feet, feeling a little guilty about it, truth be told.

"Yeah... I just wish it hadn't ended... like this."

She moved over to the young man and hugged him to her. His eyes turned red as tears began to form in them. She pulled away and wiped a tear from his cheek.

"You're a great cop, Kevin. I am so proud of you."

Ryan gave her a shaky nod of gratitude, and she let go.

Beckett then turned to Lanie and Esposito. "And you two", she was crying but gave them a grin anyway. She laughed "Have you two sorted out your shit, or what?"

They all laughed. Beckett slapped a hand over her mouth and turned to the underaged girl. "I'm sorry Alexis."

Alexis's eyes darted toward the recovery room where her dad was. "You're forgetting who I live with."

Beckett smiled at her. They locked eyes. Both of them were pretty sure who the young girl would be living with after tonight. Whatever brain capacity her father came out of this with, Kate and Alexis's relationship had changed tonight. It had turned into something very close to what Beckett had shared with her mother, when she was Alexis's age. Alexis was very close to the age Beckett was when her mom died. She knew exactly what life would be like for Alexis if Castle was to never wake up. But Beckett would be stronger than her father was. Alexis would always have a safe, albeit, somewhat dysfunctional home; with Beckett. And of course, the other striking difference between Alexis's loss and Beckett's is that Alexis would know who the killer was, and that she was dead. But Beckett knew that that kind of justice would never be enough for Alexis. Because it wasn't for her.

Beckett's thoughts were interrupted by Esposito, "Hey, we're going to leave now. Visiting hours are almost up and we actually aren't really supposed to be here - the badge gets you in every time", he winked at Alexis, who chuckled.

"I didn't think of that one", Kate smiled, tapping Esposito on the arm. "I got in with Josh."

The three of them looked at her with pained expressions. "Was it awful?" Ryan asked.

She shrugged. "No. Actually it was good. I needed to see him, I needed him to know a couple of things and now he knows them."

"So it's definitely so long to Dr. Motorcycle Boy, then?" Esposito questioned her.

She nodded, affirmatively. "Yes. definitely, and indefinitely."

Lanie reached into her friend for another embrace. "You take care yourself, you hear?" I'mma see you tomorrow, kay?"

"Thanks Lanie", Beckett smiled.

"You need anything, you holler my way, I got you covered", Esposito hugged his friend and co-worker.

"Thank you Javier."

He winked. "You got it girl."

Ryan inhaled as he stepped up to Beckett, hesitated before hugging her. "Still wish I could have done more", he said, guiltily.

Beckett gave him a motherly look "This is not your fault, Ryan." She turned to see if Alexis was listening, but the teen was engrossed in watching her father.

"Lerlyn Magetti stabbed Castle. You weren't even there."

"I know, and maybe if I was, maybe I..."

"Kev, I told Castle to stay in the car. He didn't, and that was his choice. In fact..." She leaned in close to him to whisper into his ear. "He wanted to be in the action so badly. He was so pumped full of adrenaline that he just grabbed me and kissed me, right there in the car..."

"Wait! You two kissed?" Ryan hissed in amazement.

Beckett shushed him fervently and then rolled her eyes. "Let's save that conversation for a rainy day."

He smirked at her, but didn't say anything else on the subject.

"My point is...if anyone should feel guilty about this, it's me. He wanted to protect me, because he cares about me, and he cares about you too Ryan, which is why he wouldn't want you to sit here feeling responsible."

The Irish detective nodded softly.

"OK", Beckett smiled at him, pulling him in for a hug. "Now, go home and get some sleep, OK? That's an order... Oh and tell Jenny I said hi."

Ryan laughed, pulling away from her. He stopped halfway and then, looking mischievous, leaned back in to whisper to her. "Sooo, this kiss..."

Beckett rolled her eyes and slapped him on the shoulder, which did little to deter him.

"Does this mean, if Castle wakes up, you two are finally going to be together?"

Beckett smiled at him. "WHEN Castle wakes up... I will be taking the idea into consideration."

The Irish detective beamed and walked away, jovially.

Beckett shook her head and turned to look at the poor girl, staring at her father's unconscious form.

"It's not a nice sight, Alexis. Why don't you step away from there for a while?" Beckett suggested, gently.

Alexis turned her tear-stained face away from the window and took Beckett in. "What if he doesn't wake up?"

Beckett stood, fixed to the ground, stuck for an answer. She didn't know how to be the strong one here - she was so used to being in Alexis's position. Maybe she needed to use that to her advantage.

"Then life will be different. It will be harder, for a long time. You'll feel cheated and angry and you'll want revenge for what happened. And then one day you'll wake up and you'll realize that you're no longer angry that your dad was taken from you. You're just sad that he's not there anymore. And then you'll_ finally _start to grieve."

Alexis's tears rolled down her cheeks, unstopped by her hands that were shaking too much to do anything about it. "And when does the grieving stop?" She asked, with a whisper.

Beckett reached out to finally wipe away the beads of water from the young girl's face. Alexis whimpered at her comforting touch. She was just young, she wasn't strong enough for this yet. Beckett shook her head. "It doesn't."

Alexis collapsed into Beckett's arms.

"Alexis, if it happens that you're dad is not alright. You still have your Grandmother, and you've got me."

"I know I've got you, Dete-"

"Kate", Beckett pointed a stern finger at the teen.

"Kate", Alexis smiled. "And Kate?"

"Yes, pump-kin?" Beckett's mouth twitched sideways, not sure how Alexis would react to her using her father's pet name for her. But Alexis smiled broadly, and took Kate's hand in hers. "Just remember... you've got me, too."

...

**A/N: By the way, I'm not exactly sure Kate was taken to Mount Sinai - don't even know we found out an any stage which hospital it was!**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is a little bit shorter (My apologies) but I hope you enjoy it all the same :-)**

"There should be a towel in the cupboard just there and um... oh, I'm afraid there's probably not really anything to eat in the refrigerator. We'll go shopping in the morning."

The doctors had managed to convince Beckett and Alexis to go home, promising them to call if anything changed with Castle overnight, though, the women and the doctors alike were doubtful that it would.

"Oh, that's alright, we usually use non-perishables; flour, eggs, sugar..."

"Ah, your dad's famous panca- ...Oh Alexis, I'm sorry."

Kate set the cup down that she was holding, on the bench and rushed to Alexis's side. The young girl had begun to break down.

"It's OK, Kate, I'm-I'm alright", Alexis hiccuped.

"Come here", Beckett took the girl to the couch and wrapped her arms gently around her.

Beckett closed her eyes when she felt the teen's breathing slow, the young redhead getting the sleep she obviously needed. She hadn't spent time like this, just so innocently contented, cuddled up on the couch, so comfortable and relaxed with someone, since her cozy nights at home with her mother.

Beckett smiled and reached down beside herself on the couch, grabbing for the TV remote, careful not to disturb Alexis. She flicked on the television and the blu-ray player, where her DVD re-runs of "Temptation Lane" began to play.

Beckett brushed a strand of red hair out of the now snoring girl's eyes. She sighed at the nostalgic feeling of a once contented home.

...

Beckett and Alexis walked in the door of Beckett's apartment, they'd just returned from the supermarket, and were each laden with shopping bags full of food supplies.

They would be spending a lot of time at the hospital, but Beckett had decided that they would both need a good hearty breakfast before spending hours upon hours, sitting atop those hard backed, leather-cushioned chairs, and under those damn persistent lights.

"Ah, in the pantry", Beckett directed Alexis as to where the jar of grape jelly she was holding up; could go.

"Do you usually stock up this much? I wanna pay you back for some of this..." Alexis told the older of the two women.

"Don't be silly. You think I'm going to let you eat this entire stash? These doritos are mine", Beckett gave Alexis a wink as she held the back of chips to herself, possessively.

Alexis grinned, and it made Beckett's heart sing, to see it.

The telephone rang and Beckett's arms were full of food. "Alexis, could you get that, please?" She asked from behind several boxes of crackerjacks.

Alexis found the receiver on Beckett's bookcase, and picked up the telephone on the fourth ring. "Kate Beckett's house, this is Alexis speaking."

"Darling! How are you?"

"Gram!" Alexis's face lit up light a Christmas tree. She turned to Beckett, a grin from ear to ear. She turned her attention back to the phone. "Where are you?"

"I'm in Fairbanks, at the- at the airport but, oh... excuse me Alexis..." Martha turned the phone away from herself, and Alexis heard her shout at someone behind her. "Hey pal, I was here first, you're just going to have to wait your turn, so kindly quit pestering me and buzz off-" Alexis raised her eyebrows as her grandmother returned to the phone.

"Ugh, these people, I'm sorry darling where were we? Oh, yes I'm in Alaska, and I'm afraid that apparently, due to "inclement weather" we're going to be grounded here for at least another night."

"Gram, what are you doing in Alaska? I thought you were at the Oasis spa in Minneapolis!" Alexis's face showed dismay.

"Well, I met up with an old friend from drama school and he invited me to his vacation house in Fairbanks, so we flew here in his private jet and... well, it was sunny when we arrived!" Martha whined like a teenager trying to get out of trouble.

She sighed. "But It seems Winter finally decided to show up...I am so sorry darling", Martha professed.

Alexis sat down on the couch, disheartened. "It's OK Gram, Kate and I are doing fine, and Dad is still the same so there's nothing you can really do here."

"But I wanted to be there with my sweet angel of a granddaughter", Martha said sincerely.

Alexis swallowed a lump in her throat. "Me too, but don't worry about me... I've got Kate", she turned to look at Beckett who was standing in the kitchen with her arms around herself, looking at Alexis with a soft expression.

"I miss you Gram and I know I'll see you soon."

"I love you Alexis, I have to go, this ogre behind me is being a pain in the rear end. Please let Kate know how grateful I am for all that she's doing."

"I will, I love you."

The call got disconnected and Alexis turned to look at Beckett, who wasn't there. Alexis furrowed her brow at turned to slump back on the couch. She felt a warm presence beside her and turned to see the detective sitting beside her, with an expression, that showed she was open to hear the young girl's problems - whatever they might be.

"Alaska", she said rolling her eyes, she tried to smile but it faded quickly.

Beckett waited for her to speak some more, but she never did, she only acted, by leaning into Beckett and sighing deeply. The teen lay her head on Beckett's shoulder, closing her eyes briefly. Kate took the Alexis's hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "Your dad is so proud of you, you know that right?"

Silent tears rolled down Alexis's face.

"Do you know how often he talks about you? People might think his books and the cases are the most important things to him, but they're wrong... you're more important to him than anything else in this world, Alexis."

The young girl squeezed Beckett's hand back. "Yeah, well, I think you and I might be equal for first position"

Beckett contemplated the girl's words for a moment.

Alexis lifted her head and sat straight, looking into Beckett's eyes, she spoke genuinely. "I think I'm happy to share the podium with you though."

Beckett's eyebrows raised, her face a picture of delight. She smiled her most tender smile.

Alexis's face twisted into a sideways smile. "Come on, let's go get crackerjacked."

...

Over the next couple of days, Beckett and Alexis stayed close to one another, relying on each other to play guard, while the other tried futile attempts at broken sleep.

Beckett had called the school and explained the circumstances. The principal was devastated at the news of Castle's injury, saying he was one of the best parents of any child that attended Alexis's high school. Beckett did have to agree with him, but she did think that the principal was more devastated by the fact that one of his most generous benefactors might not be making any contributions over the new semester.

Alexis wanted to make sure her dad's condition was being monitored correctly; Beckett noted what a smart kid she was, as she always seemed to know what the neurologist was talking about, well at least more often than Beckett did.

"His brain tissue is being compressed, it's... acute", the girl swallowed, as she explained the doctor's ramblings to Beckett.

Beckett nodded. "Which means it's serious."

Alexis chuckled bitterly. "He's been in a coma, on life support for four days... I think we're already aware that it's serious."

Beckett wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

A young Indian nurse approached them. "Miss Castle?"

"Yes", Alexis said, standing to attention.

"We are going to try taking your father off the life support now. We will see if he can breathe on his own. Is this OK for you to come and see? Would you like to be there when we-"

"Yes, I want to be there with him!" Alexis said, interrupting the rest of the nurse's sentence.

"OK. Then follow me, please", the nurse walked in the direction of the closed off intensive care unit. Alexis rushed off, trailing her.

"Uh, excuse me", Beckett called out, stepping forward. She was ready to unclip her badge, and work her whole "I'm a cop, this badge gives me a key to the city" angle; but Alexis saved her the trouble.

"Mom, come on", she ran back and grabbed Beckett's hand.

Beckett was dragged by Alexis down the ICU corridor, unable all of a sudden to get her brain to connect with her feet.

She knew Alexis had only called her "that" so that she would be allowed access to Castle's room - the hospital of course had a family only policy when letting people into Intensive Care rooms; but it still made her feel a little weak in the knees, made her heart pound stronger in her chest, and her head spin once again.

They were lead by the nurse to Castle's room where he was lying, looking totally incapacitated. Alexis and Beckett had visited several times, but it was definitely one of those things that did not get easier the more you saw it.

"Mrs Castle, you and your daughter will need to stand back in this corner, the doctors need to stay near to your husband", the nurse spoke to Beckett.

Beckett made a vocality that was something between a cough and a sigh. "Oh-OK, yeah".

_Mrs. Castle_ - your _daughter_ - your... _husband_? Oh my god.

Beckett needed some air.

A balding man, wearing thin wired spectacles, dressed in a white coat over a checkered shirt and green khakis stepped into the room. He looked honestly concerned as he took in his patient. He turned to acknowledge Beckett and Alexis, who were standing together, The brunette stood behind the red-head, holding on to her by the shoulders, for support; perhaps more for support for herself than for the young woman.

"Hello I'm doctor Turner. I'm a resident physician, I've been assigned your - I'm sorry what is your relationship to the patient?"

It was funny, Beckett thought for a quick second, instead of the word "patient", she was expecting the word "victim", it was a questioned she'd asked at least one individual for practically every day of the last ten years. _What was your relationship to the victim? _Thank god it wasn't the question she had to answer.

"He's my husband...I'm his wife", Beckett fibbed, hoping she hadn't displayed any of the classic tells of a liar; she knew them all, and wondered if Doctors did too.

"I've been assigned your husband's case. Now Mrs. Castle, you do understand what we will be doing here today? Somebody has told you?"

Beckett nodded. "If there was anything I've missed, Alexis has filled me in. She's very smart, this girl."

The doctor's weathered face allowed a smile. "Spoken like a very proud mother, hmm?"

Beckett bit the inside of her cheek, and then simpered "Yes."

She didn't see the girl below her, give a slight smirk.

"Alright, we're ready to begin. Now, I don't wish to alarm you but I do have to prepare you for what could happen, when we remove the breathing tube. If his brain does not allow for oxygen to come back to his lungs, we will need to clip him back up again. Now if this does occur, it will then be up to you to make the decision of whether to keep him on life support or not."

"He just has to wake up", Alexis cried.

Beckett held her tight, shushing her gently. "We understand."

The doctor nodded. "OK, let's begin please", he called to his team.

Beckett and Alexis waited with baited breath as the team of medical experts worked on removing Castle's breathing tube.

"Shutting down the ventilator", the doctor spoke aloud, as was standard practice for documenting for educational and instructional purposes.

The ventilator machine was switched off by the physician.

"BP is steady at 120 over 85. Pulse 78, Sats have dropped to 87", the nurse turned to the doctor. "Doctor?"

"That's alright, just be ready to re-intubate. Hang in there Mr. Castle."

Alexis shut her eyes tightly, praying for her dad to be OK.

"OK... removing the endotracheal tube", the doctor focused solely on the task of extracting the breathing tube from Castle's throat. Once it was out, the doc turned to the nurse. "How are we doing?"

"Stable", the nurse told him, checking the machine.

"NC, please", the doctor asked another member of his team who handed him the nasal cannula.

"Here we are Mr. Castle, let's get those oxygen levels back up now", he said, clipping it around Castle's face. When it was set right, he turned to the nurse with a raised eyebrow.

Beckett and Alexis held each other, tensely.

The nurse nodded her head. "89... rising."

Dr. Turner smiled in the direction of Alexis and Beckett. "He's breathing on his own."

Both women let out sobs of relief. "Thank you", they both told him.

He nodded. "We'll keep him on the extra oxygen supply, just to raise his blood oxygen levels back to normal. We'd like them back up to 97 at least, before we remove the cannula. The nurse will be monitoring him throughout the day, so perhaps you two would like to take a walk, have something to eat? If there are any complications, we will let you know straight away. Any changes and a staff member will call."

"What do you think, you want to go out for a while?" Beckett asked the young girl.

"No", Alexis said, wiping away her tears. "But I guess sitting here isn't doing dad any favors, and it would be good for us to be nice and refreshed when he wakes up."

Beckett nodded softly, and gave the teen a sideways hug. "Yeah, good plan, aye. Thank you doctor, thank you everyone."

"Oh and detective... Beckett?" The doctor gave her a coy smile.

She bit her lip, realizing she'd been caught out, but not knowing exactly how.

"Next time you pretend to be a patient's wife, make sure it isn't someone famous. And it would be especially wise to make sure the doctor of said patient is not a big fan", the doctor gave her a wink.

Beckett chuckled. "I'm sorry."

The doctor walked out, laughing.

Beckett stomped her foot as she looked over at her partner. Richard Castle would be very happy knowing his celebrity had come back to be a pain in her ass, yet again.

...

A coffee cup was placed in front of Beckett. She looked up to find; not big Castle, but little Castle, smiling down at her. There was something symbolic about it. Something comforting that told her Alexis really was OK with her being a part of their lives; but maybe that was because the symbolism of big Castle's coffees were always about more than just the coffee.

"Thank you", Beckett smiled back at Alexis, as the young girl took a seat beside her at the small table, situated in a long line of tables just outside of central park.

"Welcome... whaddaya reading?" The girl asked, taking a sip from her Iced Mocha Late.

"Uh, just case notes", Beckett shrugged, tossing them aside.

"Dad's case?"

Beckett bit her lip. "The one we were just investigating, yeah."

"Can I... take a look?" Alexis asked meekly.

"Oh gee Alexis, I don't know..."

"Come on Kate, please? Dad lets me read case notes all the time."

Beckett's eyebrows raised.

Alexis grimaced. "Ooh, I probably shouldn't have told you that."

Beckett rolled her eyes, but slid the file over toward Alexis.

Alexis squinted at the file. "So this guy that you two arrested, this William Magetti, he's been on the run for long time."

"Mhm, except he hasn't really been running because he's been living under false identities the whole time."

"He broke out of jail in Chicago, twelve years ago. How do you know he won't do it again?"

Beckett tried to sound as reassuring as she could. "Security's a lot tighter in our prisons than it was ten years ago."

Alexis didn't look comforted. "What about Hal Lockwood? He escaped just a year ago."

Beckett shifted, uneasily in her chair.

Alexis looked at her apologetically. "I'm-I'm sorry Kate."

Beckett sighed, shaking her head. "Listen to me Alexis. We've got a really good security team hooked to this guy's side. He's not going anywhere. I've got a policeman at the hospital with your dad, and I'm pretty certain if you look around you'll find a not so subtle Officer in a black SUV parked somewhere nearby... but, don't look around."

Alexis narrowed her eyes in confusion, until Beckett reached across the table to take her hand. "What I'm telling you is, we're safe now. All of us."

Alexis looked back down at the file. "What about this old army General friend of Magetti's. General Straker?"

"Those two are far from friends", Beckett told her, shaking her head.

"But he killed a lot of people", Alexis said, the concern coming back to her face.

Beckett locked eyes with Alexis again. Before she could speak however, Alexis's cell phone rang in her pocket.

Alexis jumped at the noise of her own ring tone. "Kate...It's the hospital", her breath quickened.

"Answer it", Kate told her quickly.

"Hello?" Alexis spoke into the phone.

"Miss Castle, this is Nurse Deepti. Your father is awake."

"Kate, Kate he's awake", Alexis told Kate excitedly.

Kate felt like the world had been hanging upside down for the past four days, and had just now righted itself up again.

"Yes, but Miss Castle, I'm afraid he is in very much distress. We are trying to keep him relaxed, but it is important we don't sedate him too heavily if we can help it. Are you able to come back to the hospital and-"

"We're on our way", Alexis said, not giving the nurse time to finish what she was saying.

...

Alexis and Beckett ran all the way back to the hospital. Catching their breath, they approached Dr. Turner outside his room. "Is he OK?" They both asked at the same time.

"I'm not sure you two really want to go in right n-" Alexis walked past him, ignoring his protests. Beckett followed quickly.

As they entered Castle's room, they head a flurry of curse words fly out of his mouth. He was writhing on the bed. "My damn shoulder - what the hell, man! What's happened to it? Feels like it's been hit by a god-damned train."

"Mr. Castle..."

"Lady why do you keep calling me that? Where's Meredith, my girlfriend? We were just having lunch down on the banks of campus. Did we crash the car? Is she alright?"

"Mr. Castle, I need you to relax", nurse Deepti pleaded with him, trying to hold his flailing limbs down.

"Dad-" Alexis approached the end of his bed, with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't... who are you?"

Alexis stumbled back, looking horrified.

"Castle", Beckett stepped forward.

"Who the hell is Castle?" He shouted, making the room fall into a dead silence.

He looked right at Beckett. "I'm sorry lady, but my name is Rodgers... Richard Rodgers."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again for your awesome reviews folks - please, keep 'em coming? :D**

**Enjoy this**

...

"There are many aspects to the human memory." The doctor was pacing in his study, speaking to Beckett and Alexis, occasionally stopping to point to a diagram of a brain, as if the two women could actually connect the physical shape to what he was telling them.

"Mr. Castle's Declarative memory is partly damaged, however its counterpart, the procedural memory, which controls our cognitive and motor skills, appears to be perfectly intact."

"But why does Dad think he's twenty-one?" Alexis asked him, looking annoyed that she couldn't make sense of everything.

"I'm getting to that", the doctor told her with a look.

She stepped back, taking a breath as Beckett gently rubbed her back.

"The declarative memory is broken up into two parts - the semantic memory, which allows us to recall facts that we don't always necessarily remember being told about, but we may have just picked up the knowledge, sort of in passing, like", he clicked his fingers. "Alexis; do boys like trucks or dolls?"

Alexis shrugged. "It's a new age Dr. Turner, can we really make that kind of generalization anymore?"

The doctor scowled.

Alexis threw her hands up. "It's the kind of thing my dad would say."

The doctor raised his eyebrows.

"Fine, fine...trucks", Alexis conformed, reluctantly.

"Thank you", the doctor said indignantly, nodding his head, and turning back to his diagram.

"Now, your dad's semantic memory seems to be mostly still all there, I still have a few tests to run to prove that, but I'm confident my assertions are correct on that point."

Alexis and Beckett glanced at each other, such a "doctor" way of putting it.

"The other part to the declarative memory, is the episodic memory, which involves autobiographical events of our lives, including names, emotions and other contextual knowledge. Now because Mr. Castle's memory blockage is only applicable to the episodic memory, after the age of twenty-one, my feeling is that he must have experienced something traumatic at that age, something that drastically changed his life."

Alexis and Beckett looked at each other, each silently asking the other if he'd ever said anything about a traumatic event that occurred when he was twenty-one.

"Do either of you know of such an event?"

Both women shook their heads.

"Well, the important thing to do is be gentle when we try to dig it out. If we probe too much, and he recalls the event suddenly, it's possible that he will... turn inward."

"Turn _inward_ ?" Beckett narrowed her eyes at him.

He sighed. "Become catatonic."

"Oh my god", Alexis whimpered.

The doctor swallowed and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Hey, the best thing you can do for your dad, is to not give up hope. OK?"

"So, basically if he does ever get his "episodic" memory back, he might lose his total brain function anyway?"

The doctor had no response.

Alexis collapsed into Beckett's arms. Beckett soothed her. "Come on sweetie, we've got to be positive, your dad would want us to keep positive."

But the look she gave the doctor was anything but positive.

...

Castle was moved into a ward, where he would spend at least a week (according to the doctor). From there it would be decided if he would be moved to a psychiatric facility, or be able to go home. Together with Alexis, the doctor had begun filling Castle in about a few important details from Castle's life.

"So I'm a writer? Am I a good one?"

"Well, I'm a fan", the doctor smiled down at Castle, who was now sitting up in his bed. His arm was wrapped in a sling - turned out he'd done some damage to his shoulder when he fell to the floor after being stabbed.

"Reeaally?" Castle grinned up at the doc.

Over in the corner of the room, Beckett shook her head. Great, his ego had to be the first thing to return to him.

"What is the last thing you remember, Mr. Rodgers?"

"I was sitting in this really boring lecture with Professor Needlemyre, and Mer and we were sitting in the back. This lecture was dragging on and so Meredith and I just started...Well, let's just say, the only thing Mer was interested in studying were my abs."

"Oh god, he still thinks he has abs", Alexis muttered to Beckett, with gritted teeth.

Beckett looked back at her. He _didn't _have abs? Huh, could've fooled Beckett.

"Who is Meredith?" Dr. Turner whispered toward Beckett and Alexis.

"She's my... mom, my real mom", Alexis told him, looking toward Beckett, the color of embarrassment rising in her cheeks.

The doctor nodded, looking coy.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Meredith and I... have a daughter together?" Castle could hardly believe it. He looked more confused now. "How old are you?" He directed his question to Alexis.

"I'm eighteen", she told him.

Castle looked horrified. "Please tell me she was pregnant with you that year."

"No you guys had already graduated when I was born."

"So where is she...Meredith?"

Alexis shifted uncomfortably. "She's in L.A. She's making movies, trying to be a star", Alexis rolled her eyes.

Castle shook his head. "She left me?" He looked up at Alexis who wore a crushed expression. Castle swallowed. "She left us?" Alexis nodded. "She's taking over the world, you know", Alexis huffed with a small smile.

"So I've been raising you all on my own for eighteen years?" Castle asked, looking a little proud.

"No Gram's been living with us for years, and there was Gina."

"Gina?" Castle's brow furrowed.

"Gina Cowell. Your _second_ wife", Alexis grimaced, knowing he would be devastated when he learned he'd not only been through one, but two failed marriages.

Castle gaped. "My sec-my second wife. Oh, my go...", he lay back in his bed, feeling faint.

"Not sure if I wanna know this but...how old am I? Castle closed one eye, bracing himself.

Alexis bit her lip. "Forty-"

"Forty?" Castle gasped, mortified.

"-One"

Castle covered his face with his hands. "Great scott, this is heavy."

Beckett tried not to smirk at the very 80's phrase.

"Ow!", Castle winced as he lifted his arm down.

"Mr. Castle, are you in pain?" The nurse asked him.

"I just found out I'm forty-freaking-one, I'm writhing in agony!"

Beckett's smirk fell totally as her heart ached for him. She had no idea what it must be like to wake up one day and not know anything about yourself.

"My shoulder hurts like a mother though", Castle added.

"I will get you some painkillers", Nurse Deepti walked out of the room.

"Yeah, and when you bring them you can leave the bottle", Castle deadpanned. Beckett couldn't help but smile at the very Castle-esque phrase.

The doctor cleared his throat. "And I have my rounds to make. Mr. Rodgers, I will leave you to become reacquainted your guests. This lovely lady in particular, I'm sure you will be very pleased to get to know all over again", He patted Beckett on the shoulder, and left the room.

Beckett looked up after him with narrowed eyes. How is it that anyone could spend but a day with the two of them and already assume that they were an item? Well, then again, the good doctor was a fan - he would've read page 105 of Heat Wave.

'Nuff said really.

"So, uh...Gina?" Castle said uncertainly toward Beckett.

Beckett blushed, feeling uncomfortable. He thought she was his wife._ If only._

"Oh, Dad, no. Last I heard Gina is in Toronto working a deal on a new children's series called the "Maple Leaf Ragamuffins."

Castle stared at her blankly.

Alexis gave him a sympathetic smile. "She's a book editor. You married her for the wrong reasons, and divorced her for the right ones."

Castle closed his eyes and sighed. "I can't believe this. If I had known that this was what I would become, I would've gone back twenty years and kicked my own ass. I'm a twice-divorced, single-" he looked up at Alexis, "Single?" She nodded, again looking sympathetic. "-Single father, I'm in my _forties_ and I-" he paused mid-sentence. Looking downcast, he chuckled bitterly. "And I can't even finish that sentence."

Alexis approached him, and put a hand gently on his shoulder. "It's OK Dad. We have time to go over everything. Lots of time. You shouldn't let your head expand with too much knowledge at once, your brain isn't that big, it might explode", she baited him.

"Hey!" He groused back.

She looked down at him with sparkling eyes, hoping that with the prompting of their banter, he might start to remember.

Twenty-one year old Richard Castle must have been smart, because he caught what she was trying to do right off the bat. "Thanks for trying kid, but nothing's coming back. I'm sorry", he gave her a small smile.

She nodded and turned away from him so that he couldn't see her devastation.

"I like you though, kiddo", he told her, making her turn around. "You're sharp. It may be because I still feel like I'm as young as you are, but I bet we're good buds, right?"

Alexis couldn't contain her smile. "The best."

Castle mirrored her expression.

Alexis moved to stand beside him again. "And hey, the forty-one year old model acts like he's twenty-one anyway...actually probably a bit younger... a lot younger" she teased, looking thoughtful.

Castle laughed. Alexis's face beamed a thousand times brighter than it had done at any stage over the past four days.

Beckett smiled at the interaction of father and daughter, she was aware that although herself and Castle had an incredibly meaningful relationship that hadn't even really been tapped into yet, Castle and Alexis would always have a bond that she could never, and would never wish, to compete with.

Castle reached beneath himself with his arm that wasn't hindered. "Well, my ass is still pretty firm, at least. Not all saggy like my Uncle Ted's was at this age", he shuddered at the recollection of his Uncle Ted in a too-small beach towel.

Beckett couldn't help but stare toward the aforementioned area of his body. By hell, he was right about it being firm... firm and succulent and... oh crap, look away before he catches you Kate...

"Dad, gross!" Alexis scolded him.

He grimaced. "Oh, sorry. That _was_ a little bit tasteless, huh? Probably not used to hearing your old man say stuff like that."

"Actually I'm used to it, but you're right, it doesn't stop it being completely asinine."

"Oh, very nice", Castle grinned, making his eyes crinkle. "Hey, kiddo, do me a favor would you?" Castle asked Alexis.

"Yeah?" She replied, pleased to be able to do something for him after four days of feeling totally powerless to help.

"Is there a mirror around here somewhere?"

Beckett and Alexis both pursed their lips in unison.

"Um, Dad, are-are you sure?"

"Why? Has something happened to my face?" Castle sat up in bed, as far as he could, becoming panicked.

"No, no, it's just, well it has been twenty years", Alexis reminded him.

"As long as I'm better looking than Glen Campbell, I think I'll be fine with my appearance."

Alexis furrowed her brow. "Who?"

Castle looked at her in horror. "Don't tell me I never brought my kid up on..." he shook his head and sighed. "Times change I guess, what you're crazy about when you're twenty one you're not necessarily crazy about when you're... _forty one. _Just ask my two ex-wives_._" he made a face.

Alexis looked at Beckett, who had her lips pursed. She turned back to her father. "Dad..."

Castle cleared his throat. "Sorry. Ah, where were we? Oh right, a mirror... please?"

Alexis shrugged. "Alright. I think you might have an app for that. Where's your phone?"

Castle shook his head. "Uh, again please, in English?

"Oh my god", Alexis turned to Beckett, and whispered fervently. "You were alive 20 years ago. Help!"

"Yeah, I was _eleven_, so unless you want a lecture on why Marky Mark was the best thing since sliced bread, I probably can't help you... I can however, offer you a mirror", she smiled innocently as she drew out a small compact mirror from her handbag.

Alexis tentatively walked back to her dad and held out the mirror to him. He didn't take it, he was too busy staring over at the woman that wasn't either of his wives. Who the hell was she then? "Who cares?", his brain added. She was stunning and she was at _his_ bedside.

"Dad!", His daughter broke him from his not so subtle inspection of his mystery woman.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." He took the mirror from her and took a deep breath before opening the latch to face his...face.

"Whoa, OK, well...ooh" he took his time checking himself out, making faces both of scrutiny and of approval. "Well, some inevitable shifting has taken place, I guess, but all in all, over _twenty_ years, I'd say the old boy has still got it. Yeah, I'm kind of handsome even, for an old guy".

"Ruggedly" For the first time since walking in, Beckett spoke aloud.

Castle's head snapped quickly over to Beckett, making him wince as he strained his shoulder. "What was that?"

Beckett smirked. "Ruggedly handsome, you usually call yourself."

A sudden jolt of a very familiar kind of electricity danced between them.

"And typically, do people concur?" He asked hedonistically, his old self-assured manner creeping into the delivery.

"I've never heard anyone suggest otherwise", she smiled, her eyes twinkling in the fluorescent lights.

He looked at her in a way that he hadn't looked at her in a couple of years. Was he seriously trying to have eye sex with her? "What's your name?" He asked, in his "Give me a DAY, and I'll have you in my bed" way.

She blushed as she recognized that look from when they first met. "Detective Kate Beckett."

"Detective, are you...? Are we...?" He raised his eyebrows.

The color of her cheeks deepened and she stood. "We work together. We're partners."

"I'm a cop? Wait, I thought I was a writer." His face rose and fell in quick succession.

"You are, you're a mystery crime novelist. You've been shadowing me for four years, gaining insight into the job and into, well...me."

"_Into_ you?" He asked slyly.

Beckett blushed and spluttered. "Ah, into my character. For your latest series of books you created a character based on me."

"I bet that's been a pain in the ass for you", He grinned.

"Yeah well, you haven't even read the book." Beckett reached into her bag and pulled out her copy of "Heat Wave", and handed it to him.

Castle read the blurb and turned to Beckett, laughing. "Nikki Heat? That's a _stripper_ name!" Beckett threw her hands into the air, both out of victory and exasperation.

Castle shook his head "Oh Ricky what were you thinking?" He cackled again, reading some of the book's contents.

Beckett snatched the book out of his hands before he could get to the really racy stuff between Nikki and Rook.

The look of intrigue he was giving her told her he already had.

And he was a speed-reader, dammit.

He licked his lips and asked, "So we've slept together though, right?"

"O-Kay!" Alexis said sharply, making them both jump. "I think now might be a good time for a coffee. I'm gonna go to the cafe and get one. I'll see you both later."

She walked out hurriedly.

Kate bit her lip. In a way, she was glad Alexis had left her and Castle to talk, to have some time together, get to know each other again. But in another way she was mad at Alexis for bailing on her, leaving her to deal with "Mr. Memory Block" on her own.

"So, Kate... it's Kate, right?"

Beckett nodded, shifting awkwardly.

"And uh, what's my handle again?"

"Castle."

Castle chuckled. "Oh yeah, that's right._ Castle_", he shook his head. "Why would I chose a name like _Castle_? Castle suggests stature, importance, big and forboding. Sounds like I'm trying to make a statement. As far as I recall, I'm not trying to compensate for anything", he winked.

Beckett cleared her throat and blushed yet again.

"Richard Alexander Castle", he said aloud.

"Um, actually, your middle name is Edgar, you changed it when you changed your surname", Beckett told him, a small smile on her face, at the memory of Penny and her prediction about "Alexander."

"No way... Edgar? Like Poe?" Castle beamed.

"Exactly like", Beckett nodded, her smile widening.

"So, Kate, did I tell you that little tidbit of information myself, or did you acquire it from another source?" He winked. "You're obviously a fan of my work", his attention was drawn to the book in her hand.

Her smile disappeared as she clutched the book tighter, feeling totally exposed to him. "I'm the subject of the book, I had to read it to make sure you didn't put anything inappropriate, or unfitting in there", she tried to defend herself.

He didn't need to know that she'd read every single one of his other twenty six books.

"Hmm; interesting that you never deemed those sex scenes as inappropriate or... unfitting", he looked her up and down, licking his lips.

She opened her mouth, not sure what she could say to defend herself this time.

He saved her the trouble. "So, Richard Alexander Edgar Castle Rodgers", he nodded, approvingly. Yeah, kind of has a ring to it, don't you think?"

Beckett shrugged, turning around to put the book back in her bag. "Yeah, it certainly is eccentric enough for you."

Castle's grin slipped as he surveyed her backside, swaying as she moved across the room. Beckett turned back and saw him shamelessly staring at her. She rolled her eyes. "Uh, excuse me."

"Yeah?" He said, still staring, his mouth hanging open.

"Care to look at my face when you speak to me, Castle?"

His head snapped upwards.

"Just so you know, you're not usually this shameless... anymore", she said, looking piqued.

He tilted his head. "Why do you call me Castle? Why don't you call me Rick?"

Beckett shifted, contemplating a response. "In the force, we use surnames. Everybody at the precinct calls you Castle."

"Well, we're not at the precinct now. We can call each other whatever we like, here."

Oh, not _whateve_r we like Castle.

"We can do whatever we want here", he said suggestively, his eyes darkened.

Oh god those eyes of his, they were drawing her in, she could feel their magnetic pull. His dark, playful blues that she'd trained herself to be immune to for so long. But when they hovered above her, and stared into her own as he told her he loved her, a year ago, she lost all immunity to them, and instead became susceptible to being captured by their charms.

She felt her legs betray her as they moved back to his bedside. He didn't know anything about her, and she knew everything about him. What an intriguing situation. She became lost in those eyes and her lips tugged into an interestingly inviting grin, and as soon as her lips curled upward, so did his.

"Hey, are y'all taking in stragglers today?" Lanie hollered from the doorway.

Both blinked rapidly, as their souls disconnected. Beckett blushed furiously, as they both turned to look at the M.E.

"Hello, who are you?" Castle asked Lanie.

"Hello Castle, very funny", she smirked.

"Uh, Lanie, can I talk to you for a second?" Beckett grabbed her by the arm and turned to drag her to the door.

"Oh Kate. Don't be too long OK? I might get lonely waiting", Castle told her, his voice dripping with innuendo.

She turned red, while Lanie gave her a confused look. She shook her head and stepped out of the room, pulling the M.E out with her.

Castle smirked to himself as the ladies left the room. "Well, they do say life begins at forty".

...

"Girl, what in the hell is going on? Castle _was_ having me on back there, right?"

Beckett shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid not."

Lanie couldn't believe it. "What happened? Is it amnesia?"

"Of sorts. It's-it's difficult to say what exactly is going on with him, it's like a memory block of anything after he was twenty-one, in fact, when he woke up, he thought he _was_ twenty-one."

"Ooh, can you say awkward?" Lanie grimaced.

"Yeah, the doctor says he's shutting out everything that's happened to him from that point because of some traumatic event that occurred in his life."

"Hmm, well I've definitely heard of that happening... speaking of traumatic events though; is Castle aware of the reason he's in here?"

"Are you kidding? He just woke up, Alexis was right when she said if we push too much information on him, his head might explode."

"She's a smart girl that kid. How Castle ever managed to raise a kid like that..."

Beckett felt the need to defend her partner all of a sudden. "What does that mean?"

"Girl, please. We both know Richard Castle is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He may like to think he is, he may even be able to pull it off sometimes, but most of the time he's just full of hot air."

Beckett's brow furrowed. "That hot air has solved a lot of cases, Lanie."

Lanie frowned. "Sweetie, I'm not doubting that, I was really just paying a compliment to Alexis."

Beckett huffed. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired and... frustrated."

Lanie raised her eyebrows at her. "Well, you know just cos the man's brain is a little incapacitated doesn't mean his body is; 'part from the busted shoulder. From the look of wolf-like hunger he was giving you when I walked into that room, I'm sure you only need ask him and he'll be more than happy to take care o' some of that "frustration"."

Beckett gave her a confused look, then the confusion turned to pure embarrassment. "Lanie!"

Lanie shrugged innocently. "What? Don't tell me you haven't once thought about playing Doctor with the man since he's been in here."

"That's... disturbing Lanie, truly... are you and Espo going through a period of celibacy or what?"

That shut her up.

"Javi and I have great sex, our sex is amazing! Did somebody tell you otherwise?" If looks could kill, Lanie would now be a murderer.

Beckett pursed her lips - oops. "No."

"Anyway, I guess you're the only one that knows about us getting back together now, and I trust as my best friend, you will maintain a sense of... discretion", she looked at Beckett threateningly.

"As long as you suggest to no one about even the idea of me playing _anything_ with Castle."

Lanie shrugged. "Deal."

"By the way, I'm really thrilled for you guys", Beckett said, nudging Lanie, a large smile dressed her face.

"Aw", Lanie hugged her best friend in the whole word tight to her, letting her go with a sigh."Now we just need to arrange for writer boy to help get you laid."

"Lanie!"

"Sorry..."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks again for your lovely comments my friends, I'm so glad you are enjoying the story :=) **

**Hope you like this chapter!**

...

Esposito and Ryan arrived at the hospital just as Lanie was leaving. Lanie and Beckett briefed them on Castle's situation. The boys were surprised at first, and then pissed off that they would never have the opportunity to sue Lerlyn Magetti for what she had done to their friend.

"Guys, being angry at the world is not going to do Castle any favors, OK?" Beckett sighed as she crouched in front of the two men who were sitting on those damn unaccommodating hospital waiting room chairs. "What we need to do for Castle now is be supportive. Patience guys, patience is the best thing we can offer him right now."

Ryan and Esposito shared a look. Both men sighed and then slowly nodded.

Beckett gave each of their knees a friendly pat and stood up. "So come on, let me introduce you to Richard Alexander Edgar Castle Rodgers."

The three of them walked to Castle's room feeling very nervous. When they got there, it seemed for a moment that the old Castle might have come back to them, because he was chatting up a young nurse with blonde hair and a pen in her hand. He had one of those grins on his face that he usually wore for pretty young women at his book signings.

When he saw Beckett and the boys enter the room, he turned his attention away from the nurse and his eyes instantly locked on Beckett's.

"Hey, you're back! And you've brought...people that I don't know, but I'm assuming I should."

Beckett smiled. "Castle, these are our workmates, they work with us every day, they're my team. Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito."

Esposito stepped forward and shook Castle's hand. "Hey bro."

Ryan looked uncomfortable, and he swallowed a lump in his throat. "M-Mr. Rodgers." Ryan still felt a strong sense of guilt for putting Castle in the crosshairs that lead to him being in this position.

"Hey Kevin... it's Kevin, right?" Castle said, reaching up to touch him on the back.

"Y-yes", Ryan spluttered.

"You know, I don't know you from Larry. But I do know my twenty one year old self, and he would offer a hug to a guy when he could see he was in need of one, now... would you like a hug, Kevin Ryan?"

Ryan pursed his lips, he tried to resist, but the man was just so damn charming!

"Yeah", he said like a child.

Ryan and Castle shared an awkward one armed guy-hug.

"There you go, Kevin... feel better? I know you do", Castle cooed.

Ryan smiled like a little kid. "Yeah, thanks."

"Oh you're welcome Kevin, and hey, there's more where that came from, whenever you need it", Castle beamed.

Ryan turned around to be greeted with Esposito shaking his head and giving him an odd look.

"So Castle, you really don't remember us?" Esposito gave him a faux hurt look.

"Well don't take it personally Javier, I'm sure you're very memorable."

Beckett covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

"But really, the last thing I remember is being in college. I can remember my childhood. I had a really good childhood. Where is my mother by the way?"

"Um, she's in Alaska", Beckett muttered.

"Alaska! What, did she marry an eskimo?"

"No", Beckett giggled. Wait - she giggled? Why was she suddenly so delirious whenever she was around him? "No, she was visiting an old friend of hers there and then got stuck in a snow storm."

"Snow storm? Is it winter? Oh man, did I miss Christmas?" Castle practically bounced out of bed with excitableness.

"Afraid so, but don't worry, you got everyone gifts", Beckett told him.

"Yeah and we already got yours too, so don't even think about asking for more. We're on cop's wages here", Esposito told him.

"What did I get you all?" Castle asked them, his childlike side coming out to play.

"You got Jenny and I a beautiful fondue set that Jenny uses practically _every_ day. Man, I tell ya, you haven't tasted swiss cheese until it's come from Jenny's kitchen. All the other stuff is a lie", Ryan grinned.

"Classic", Castle nodded. "What else?"

"Ah, well you got me some new threads that I've been wanting for like ever. Proper cotton pants. We never got anything like these bad boys in the special forces", he told Castle. "Sooo warm", he purred.

"Mm. What about you Kate? What did I get you? Gift of friendship?"

"And more", Beckett told him before winking at him.

"More than friendship?" Castle smirked back.

Ryan and Esposito shared an amused glance.

Beckett coughed. "More in terms of a gift, I mean."

Castle eyed her up. "Riiight. So what could I possibly have purchased that would meet your discerning tastes Miss Detective Lady?"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him.

Castle gasped. "Victoria's secret, right?"

Behind Beckett, Ryan and Esposito snorted.

"In your dreams", Beckett said with an eye roll.

"You bet in my dreams", Castle told her with a look so serious that she almost dropped to her knees.

"So not skimpy underwear... jewelry?" Castle narrowed his eyes in question.

Beckett shook her head.

"Well then what did I buy you? Come on Kate don't leave me guessing, my brain is already sore", Castle whined.

Beckett took pity on him, but she didn't tell him the whole truth. What she said to him though, she said in a very sincere tone of voice. "It wasn't something you bought me. It was something you brought me."

Castle looked at her, intrigued. "And what did I bring you?"

She smiled down at him. "Some peace."

The genuinely grateful smile she was giving him told him that he would be insensitive to joke about it, or keep probing. So he stopped pushing, for which Beckett was grateful.

"So I'm guessing I missed New Years too then."

"Yeah and last year went so quick too", Beckett said.

"Yeah, feels like I blinked and missed it", Esposito reiterated.

Castle scoffed. "Try blinking and missing twenty."

The three detectives shifted uncomfortably.

"What year is it now anyway?"

"Two thousand and twelve."

"Two _thousand_? I missed the millennium? Oh man! I guess the whole millennium bug thing didn't happen then? Damn."

The three cops looked at each other.

"Well, don't worry bro, the Mayans reckon twenty twelve is going to be the end of the world, so we've got that to look forward to now", Esposito told him with a chuckle.

Ryan held a hand up in front of his partner. "Don't even joke."

"Anyway...", Beckett interrupted, changing the subject before an argument had the opportunity to ensue. "End of the world or not, one thing is certain, and that is that for every day leading up to it, there will be a murder to solve, and right now three of New York's best detectives are in this room when they should be out there solving a fresh one."

"Yeah, you're right, we just wanted to come by, see if there was anything we could do to help."

Beckett nodded. "I appreciate that", she gave Esposito a smile. "Thank you Javi."

Esposito gave her a hug. "I got you girl, and I got your boy." He pulled away to look into her eyes. "He doesn't know anything about you. Look, there are no lingering doubts about waiting for you to solve your mom's case anymore, and I know that you are trying to let go of those doubts yourself so... give him a chance, give it a shot girl, you deserve it, he makes you happy, so go be happy for once."

Beckett swallowed. The latino detective was right, Castle didn't know about her mom's case, he didn't know about that wall she had inside that had begun to crumble when he took her to his bed that night a week before when a sniper had infiltrated the precinct. Now was her chance to make an important decision. Would she tell him everything? Or would she keep it from him, choosing to hurdle the wall and run away with him across the plains of a new life?

"See you back at the precinct, Beckett", Ryan gave the female detective a hug.

Beckett lowered her voice to speak to him. "Yeah, um... listen Ry I don't know if I'll be back to the precinct for a while. Gates might screw my neck and bury me in the woods of traffic violations but Castle needs someone and, I think the one he needs... is me", Beckett shook her head at herself, conflicted by so many emotions.

Ryan smiled. "if that's what you need to do, then you take the rest of your life", Ryan winked at her and followed his partner out.

Beckett turned back to her own partner and paused for a moment, watching him futilely try and untangle the chord of his call button.

She thought about Johanna and how Dr. Burke had been helping her to see that she could never let her Mom down. And then lately, when she'd been thinking about Johanna; even before Castle's stabbing, all Beckett could see was her favorite writer. Now, the thing she most wished for in the world, second to Castle's love, was for her mother and Castle to meet. She knew it wasn't possible of course, but some nights she would dream of them all having dinner together, where Beckett and Castle would hold hands beneath the table, and Johanna and Jim would laugh at Castle's anecdotes, and Johanna would catch her daughter's eye across the dinner table, and she would know that her Katie was happy and very much in love.

Beckett took a step toward his bed and sat down on it, making his head snap up. Beckett gave him a warm smile. "Here, let me help you with that." Gently, she prized the chord from his hand. He was gawking at her with his mouth hanging open slightly. She chuckled at the dumb look on his face. He closed his mouth and grinned sheepishly.

"Kate?" Castle drawled out, sounding ominous.

"Mhm", she said, her tongue poking out slightly between her lips as she concentrated on the chord.

"Have we ever kissed?"

Her fingers fumbled and she dropped the call button to the floor with a crack. She looked up at him, _her_ mouth the one hanging open now. She managed to regain composure, despite his dazzling blue eyes piercing into her resolve.

She inhaled "Yes we have."

His eyebrow raised. He sat himself up in his bed, looking intrigued.

"This kissing that we do..." Castle began.

Beckett resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Is this a usual occurrence?"

"No..." Beckett drawled out the word. She had meant to make it sound so final, but evidently she failed miserably.

"Well how many times have we kissed?" Castle asked her, his eyes sparkling with playfulness but his voice low and serious.

Beckett had to think for a moment. "Three. Three times."

He raised his eyebrow, encouraging her to continue. She sighed and spoke quickly. "First time, it wasn't technically us kissing, I mean I didn't really participate in it... you kissed me on the cheek, caught me by surprise, so I didn't really get a say in the matter."

Castle wasn't buying it.

"The second time..." Beckett's voice caught in her throat. "The second time we kissed while undercover, to distract a bullish looking guard. Again, you caught me with my defenses down, I wasn't exactly sure what was going on at the time, and I wasn't willing to jeopardize the op or Ryan and Esposito's lives, who were being detained and tortured, by the way; so I just went with it."

Castle definitely was buying_ that._

Beckett stopped to take a breath.

"And the third time?" Castle pushed.

Beckett stared at him, her eyes showed what looked a little like fear. "The third time was a week ago. Just before you were stabbed."

Castle swallowed, his eyes were now as serious as his tone. "And was that me catching you by surprise again?"

Beckett shook her head, she was so close to him, it was making her dizzy. "No. I initiated it."

Castle's mouth twitched, almost into a smile. "Why?"

Beckett sighed. "I was scared I was going to lose you."

Castle shook his head and reached out with his good arm to stroke Beckett's cheek with his thumb. "You may feel like you've lost me at the moment. But I'm still here." Beckett bowed her head, Castle reached down to gently lift her chin. "I'm still here, Kate."

Beckett's brow furrowed. How was he connecting to her like this? He wasn't just talking to her in this way because she was beautiful (that nurse before was blonde and not lacking in top-heaviness) There had to be something familiar that he sensed from her presence.

"Castle-"

"-Rick. My name is Rick. That name is foreign to me, it doesn't sound right. It would be like me calling _you_ Castle."

Beckett bit her lip and blushed.

Castle's expression mirrored hers as he realized what he'd implied. He took her hand in his "Look, does it make you uncomfortable when I call you Kate?"

Beckett's eyebrow lifted as often it did when she smiled at him. "No, it makes me feel... more than comfortable actually. It makes me feel safe."

He smiled back. "People calling me Castle makes me feel insecure somehow. Like I've lost my own identity. This whole not knowing who I am thing is damn upsetting, you know? Do you have any idea what it's like to go through a traumatic event and not be able to remember it after?"

Beckett inhaled sharply and shook her head. "No, I don't."

"Let alone anything else from the past twenty years of your life", Castle continued. "So you see, all the other things might have changed. My whole life has been altered in what seems to me like overnight. But at least Rick is still there, at least some part of me is still the same man."

Beckett shook her head and palmed his face. "But you're not the same man at all. You're a much better one."

That jolt of undeniable electricity sparked between them again. Both could feel it, one for reasons he could not explain, the other, for reasons she knew all too well. Nevertheless, the connection was undeniable and both knew that fulfilling that connection, sating the hunger each felt would be too delicious to the senses to deny.

Beckett leaned forward to meet his parted lips and gave him a very chaste kiss. Obviously more chaste than he was expecting, as he was left with his mouth hanging open when she pulled back to look at him.

Beckett patted his cheek, in an attempt to rouse him from his daze. "Rick?"

Castle's eyes flickered open. An immeasurably large smile dressed his face, making it glow. "You called me Rick."

"I did."

"Does this mean this whole kissing thing might just become a more regular occurrence after all?" Castle asked with an impish grin.

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him.

Castle chuckled. "I guess I'll just take the first name for now."

Beckett couldn't help but laugh with along him.

"Maybe I should call_ you_ Castle", Castle told her.

She stopped laughing at once. "Why? What? Why?" She spluttered.

Castle shrugged. "Well I know that I'm impulsive, but that was just so... out of the blue."

Beckett smirked. "Out of the blue like some kind of a shark attack?"

Castle leaned forward so that their noses were touching. "Out of the blue like some kind of an angel."

Beckett sighed, and closed her eyes, feeling his warm forehead resting against hers. She reached her hand up to cup his face again.

"Hey Kate?"

"Yeah?" Beckett stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"Am I a good father?"

Beckett tilted her head to one side, studying him, slightly taken aback. "Oh Cas-Rick. You are a terrific father to Alexis. You two are like peas in a pod. Seriously, you're best friends with her. Nothing and no one could shake the bond between you two."

"I'm just so unsure about the whole parenting thing. They say that when a baby comes into your life, you just instantly form a connection to them, but is it the same with a teenager?"

Beckett gave him a tender look. "That's what you're going to spend the next little while finding out."

"I really want to, at least for her sake. I never knew my Dad, and ever since I was a young boy I always planned it so that when I had my own kids I'd have a really close relationship with them."

"Well, all I know is that Richard Castle had a beautiful relationship with his daughter, and I have faith that Richard Rodgers will have a relationship with her that's just as special".

"This Richard Castle guy sounds like quite a marvel actually", Castle said, leaning into Beckett, a mischievous look on his face.

Beckett shrugged with a devious look in her eye. "Mm, he was OK. I think I like this Rodgers guy better though."

"You do?" Castle sighed, his breath close enough to mingle with Beckett's.

"Am I interrupting?" Alexis's voice made them jump apart a little way.

"No, not at all, come on in Alexa", Castle said to his daughter who was standing at the doorway of his room.

"Alexis" Beckett and Alexis said together.

Castle grimaced. "Alexis, right...I'm sorry pumpkin."

Alexis stopped in her tracks and stared down at her father, gobsmacked.

"Dad. You- Kate did you tell him?"

Beckett shook her head, just as amazed as Alexis. "No, I didn't say a thing."

"What's the big idea?" Castle asked, looking more than a little confused.

"It's just "pumpkin" is, well it's your pet name for me. Has been since I can remember", Alexis became teary-eyed.

"Really? Aw, hey come here", Castle extended his arms to Alexis who came to them willingly.

Alexis sniffed into her father's shirt "I appreciate that you might not be able to say this back, not yet anyway, because I know that you hardly know me but I just want you to know that... I love you dad."

Castle's eyes began to water, as he held on tight to his little girl. "You know what? I believe I love you too Alexis."

...

Alexis and Beckett spent another hour with Castle and then retired back to Beckett's apartment for the night.

"How about the progress we made today, huh? He took some pretty big steps, right?" Alexis chattered away excitedly to Beckett as they cleaned up the dishes.

"Yes, definitely", Beckett replied. She had only half been listening to Alexis's ramblings as she had too many of her own observations of the day, and of her time spent with Castle.

Beckett knew that things couldn't go far while he was still in hospital, and she was glad of that in a way, because she knew that as long as things weren't moving forward, she would have the opportunity to take their future into full consideration, and yes, she wanted some kind of a future with Castle, she knew that now. The inevitability of it was unquestioned in her mind's eye, it was just a case of how much, how soon. After all, just a week ago, there relationship had only gone as far as three kisses on separate occasions. Of course, Castle had wanted much more than that, but it had been her that had kept one foot out the door with him, mostly because of her mom's case, and the innate need to have it solved before beginning a relationship with him. But she'd decided that her mother would want her to bring that foot inside the door, kick off her heels and get cozy with Castle for every night of the rest of her life.

Speaking of her mother...

"Alexis, I'm a little tired. I think I'm going to hit the hay, OK?"

"No problem. Hey Kate?"

"Yeah? Umph!" Alexis barreled Beckett over with a bone crushing hug.

"Thanks", the teen murmured into Beckett's shoulder.

Beckett smiled softly at her as she pulled away. "Always Alexis".

Beckett turned around and then paused in her stride. OK, that was an unexpected thing to come out of her mouth, unexpected yet oddly perfect as well.

Beckett smiled to herself as she retreated to her bedroom and found the thing she was looking for on top of her dresser. A large silver photo frame with a picture of two women, one was a woman in her fifties, with caramel colored hair; she was Professor Jane Klegen, a law professor at NYU. The other woman was no older than twenty five, a brightly smiling young auburn haired girl with a look of pure pride on her face. Her name was Holly Peatree and she was Professor Klagen's student.

Below the photograph, a caption read:

"Holly Peatree, law graduate at New York University became the first ever recipient of the Johanna Beckett Scholarship Award for Promising Young Lawyers. This award is given to those who show great commitment to a life in the legal justice system."

Beckett smiled, running her index finger over her mother's name.

This was the peace Castle had brought her for Christmas.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi all, sorry for the slack delay in the updates - hopefully this chapter makes up for it :-)**

Beckett and Alexis arrived at the hospital the next morning and bypassed the nurses station, heading straight for Castle's room.

"Ahhh jeez lady!" They heard Castle's indignant yelling coming from his room.

The women shared a tentative glance before Beckett turned the handle of the door downward and they both stepped inside.

"Ow man, that sucks!" Castle cursed the bruise that appeared as nurse Deepti finished removing his cannula.

"I'm sorry Mr. Castle."

"Rodgers, my name is Rodgers!" Castle growled at the nurse.

"Sorry Mr. Rodgers."

Castle noticed his daughter and partner standing in the doorway.

"Hi girls", he pouted.

They gave him matching sympathetic smiles. "Hey Dad", Alexis said, walking over to rub his shoulder. "You OK?"

"No", he whined. "I'm rich, you know. I could go private if I wanted to!" He directed toward the nurse.

Nurse Deepti walked out, but not before Kate gave her a smile and said. "I'm sorry."

"All part of the job", Nurse Deepti whispered back, before exiting the room.

"Kaaate", Castle groaned, extending his two impeded arms out to her.

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Rick, what are you; two?"

"Come hold my hand, pleeease?" He looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

She crossed her arms. "I'm not going to mother you. Grow up Rodgers, be a man", Beckett tongued her cheek.

He looked at her with wide eyes. "Kevin and Javier told me I ended up like this while trying to subdue a suspect for you so you owe me lady."

Beckett's jaw dropped. "Esposito and Ryan were here? Why would they tell you that? They weren't supposed-" Beckett took a breath. "I specifically asked them not to tell you anything that might cause you to stress out."

"No, no I needed to know, everything else has been so confusing so I needed to at least have that one thing cleared up in my mind", Castle said. "And besides, I thought it made me sound pretty tough."

Beckett shook her head with a reluctant smile.

"And now that I'm aware I have something to hold over you, I feel I'm in a pretty enviable and powerful position actually."

"Ooh Dad, speaking of enviable and powerful positions, I have some news that I think might just make your day" Alexis told him with a grin from ear to ear.

"Well with the day I've had so far, it wouldn't be hard", he grimaced. "Go ahead pumpkin", his grimace turned into a smile.

"OK, well I have just been accepted at JB and Marks publishing as junior purchasing assistant, it's only for the Summer, but won't it be a great addition to my resume? And then I can re-apply to the best colleges" Alexis beamed.

Castle looked queasy. "I thought you were in high school", he said, deliriously.

"I stayed on in my classes until the end of the year, but I didn't really have to, I applied for spring admission at Stanford and that didn't really work out, so then I looked at finding work and nothing really stood out, so I went back to school but now it's nearly Summer and... please say you'll let me do it", Alexis looked at him with pleading eyes.

Castle huffed out. "Well, I-I don't know, it just seems like such a big step. Work, college? It's a big, bad world out there you know Alexis, and you're my daughter, it's a strange but undeniable sensation but I feel a sense of protection over you."

Alexis gave him a smile. "I know Dad. I promise you I know what I'm doing though. I told you about this job a few weeks ago and you were thrilled about it, you said I'd be perfect for the position and that Marks would be a fool if he didn't take me on and replace JB with me as his partner."

Castle chuckled. "Yeah? I suppose if I'm a writer, it would make me quite proud to see my daughter working for a publishing agency. Problem is I don't feel like a writer. I feel like a college kid."

Alexis looked downcast and she turned away from her father.

Castle kicked himself. He turned to Beckett for guidance. "Maybe I should leave this decision to Kate."

Beckett looked at him hesitantly.

Alexis turned back to her father. "I told Kate this morning, as soon as I got the e-mail. She said that I should go for it. She said she was really proud of me and that you would be too", the redheaded teen frowned.

"Alexis, please understand how apprehensive I am about being a parent, let alone watching my only child going off to live a life of her own. When I went to college, my mother freaked! I never understood why until this moment. It seemed so silly and unreasonable and... irrational."

Alexis looked at her father with a gloomy expression.

"But now I know that she was just being... a parent. She wanted the best for me, she wanted to protect me just like I want to protect you kiddo. She loved me just like..." Castle lost his voice.

Alexis stared at him with hopeful eyes.

"Just like I love you."

Alexis choked out a sob and leapt into her dad's arms. Castle winced as she punctured his resolve. "I love you too Dad, I love you so much."

"And Kate's right pumpkin. I am proud of you, I just never expected to have a baby who could walk to work and spend her days as a dab-hand at filing documents before I had a baby who could crawl around with the crayons and draw all over whatever documents I left lying around the house."

Alexis laughed as she pulled away from Castle.

"I know Daddy. One day soon I'll have my own kids and then I might be able to understand."

Castle turned pale. "By soon you mean in the next twenty to thirty years, right?"

Alexis laughed again and kissed her father on the cheek. "I'm going to go call Mr. Marks back and tell him I accept!"

The young girl bounced out of the room, looking delighted.

Castle sighed. "Experiencing very, very mixed feelings right now."

Beckett walked toward Castle slowly, a small smile on her face. "What hurts more, your heart or your arm?"

Castle huffed. "Ha. Arm? What arm?"

Beckett's smile widened at his protective father type moodiness as she took the seat next to him.

"Well, in regards to the heart, I think the best I can do is to tell you that Alexis is a wonderful girl. She is kind and gorgeous and so much wiser than her years."

Castle gave her a small smile.

"And that is thanks to nobody but herself and you."

Castle's shook his head. "I have a hard time believing I had anything to do with the amount of wisdom that girl has. If even any of it."

Beckett shrugged. "Maybe she learned the "Do what I say, not what I do" rule at a young age."

Castle laughed.

"How ever it happened, whatever the reason, Alexis is a strong independent woman now. And she is going out into the world that way, only because of your constant guidance and support in her life."

"I'm sure I only felt compelled to provide that support because she offered the same to me."

Beckett smiled at him warmly. "I think you're right."

Castle stared at his partner. His amazing partner. How was she a cop? Since when were cops so incredible and beautiful and sexy and intelligent?

Beckett caught his, again shameless gawking and tried to bite back her grin. "So Mr. Rodgers, that is what I can do for your heart."

"You could do more for it by calling me Rick", Castle suggested with a glint in his eye.

Beckett blushed. Damn it, that guy needed to stop doing that to her.

"And as for your arm, I can only do this." Beckett took Castle's arm in her two hands. With her right thumb, she stroked the place where the line had just been extracted. He watched her with a fixed gaze as she lifted his arm to her lips and gently kissed the offending mark the insertion left behind.

Castle's heart beat a million miles a minute. He was glad he wasn't currently having his vital signs monitored because he would've probably set off some kind of alarm.

Beckett cleared her throat. "So you know what this means, right?"

Castle shook his head dumbly. He wasn't sure he knew what anything meant at this particular moment.

"In my experience if a hospital patient has their cannula removed it means the doctor is preparing them to go home."

Castle's face lit up. "Really?"

Beckett nodded, a smile of pure joy dressing her features.

Castle withdrew his arm from her grasp so he could take her soft hand in his own. "With you here, I thought I already was home."

Beckett swallowed a lump in her throat at hearing the sincerity in his voice.

"I want to ask you something Kate. You can refuse if you want to, it's totally your prerogative to do so, but I really hope you don't do that."

Beckett furrowed her brow and inhaled. "OK, ask away."

"I don't know the full extent of our relationship. I know that we work together, that we've solved some cases together. Kevin and Javier told me that we may have saved each other's lives a few times, I don't know if they were just glorifying the job you guys do or not..."

"No, that's true. In fact they needn't glorify the job we cops do because as it stands you've saved my life more times than I have yours."

"Including this time?" Castle asked her with an intrigued narrowing of his eyes.

"Huh." Beckett mused. "I guess we're equal."

Castle smiled at that. "Oh no my dear Kate. You will always be so lofty above me it's not even funny. And I don't mind one bit because I get to be there to catch you the times when you fall."

Beckett smiled shakily. Castle shook his head. "Anyway, returning to my original question... I don't know where we stand in terms of ever getting together or being a couple. I'm guessing after four years of working together, there has to be some reason for the procrastination and although I'm sure the reasons were not my own, I believe in new beginnings and so I will not push."

Beckett bit her lip but waited for him to finish.

"All I know is that. I know three people in this world that I am close to now. My mother, my daughter and you Kate. Three incredible women. One who is about to go off and find her own life, one whom I would've thought should have found it long ago", Castle rolled his eyes, making Beckett giggle. She stopped however, when she felt his hand underneath her chin. "And one woman who should be a stranger to twenty-one year old me, but for some really bizarre, unexplainable reason, I feel this astounding connection to, like I know you from somewhere else, from a past life or something. It's like the recollection and the memory of something are two different things because I don't recall our time together. But I remember how it felt to be there. And I know that my memory is serving me because I can see it in your eyes that my feelings for you today are no different from how they were for you... a year ago, say."

Under his intense gaze, Beckett's face crumbled. Today was the anniversary of Montgomery's funeral. Today was one year since he knelt on top of her bleeding form and whispered his confession of love to her. His feelings one year ago were that of love, and she could only hope that they were the same today.

"And I feel this place in my heart for you, there's a place there that I feel like you could burrow deeper and deeper into if you would be willing to dive in and do that. Maybe we haven't had the opportunity to, maybe one or both of us has been afraid, but if it's been me, may I please take this chance to say how regretful I am about that, and how much of an idiot I feel."

Beckett choked as a lone tear slid down her face. "It wasn't you."

Castle sighed. "In that case I'm a lot more nervous to ask you this question."

Beckett smiled reassuringly. "Please don't be Rick, please just go ahead before I lose it completely."

Castle chuckled. "OK. Kate when I go home, will you come with me?"

Beckett's brow furrowed, not understanding what he meant. "Well I'm not planning on staying at the hospital, Rick."

"No, I mean when I'm discharged, will you come home, to my home... to stay?"

Beckett breathed in sharply. "Oh Rick, I-I don't know I... it's a big decision." She took a moment to calm her breathing before resuming. "Rick, you and I... look I'm going to be honest here. Yes, we've had this... spark going on for a while now. It's been there bouncing around like this little ball of light between the two of us and occasionally we pick it up and run a little way with it, but then we drop it again. One of us will go off with someone else or the timing just won't be right for one reason or another and so we fumble. If you want to know what's really true, what I really feel inside my heart, I don't know if I'm ready to reveal all of that just yet."

Castle smiled. "Well I'm sorry Kate but just saying that, reveals more than I think you may have intended it to."

Beckett closed her eyes, feeling exposed to him. "These past few years have been some of the best of my life, and that is down to you, OK? And just so you know that's probably something that I would have never told Richard Castle."

Castle smirked.

Beckett opened her eyes to find his soulful blues boring into them. "I've enjoyed most of what we've had. The relationship we have together, it's special and it's meaningful and it's something that nobody else can touch, and you've come to mean so much..." There were too many tears to count rolling down her cheeks now. "So much to me that sometimes I worry if our dynamic changed, that it wouldn't be as good as it is. Because it is great. We're great, you know?"

"How would you ever know if you don't at least try?" Castle implored.

"Yeah but once you go there, you can't go back", Beckett reminded him.

Castle swallowed and nodded his head. "I understand."

A silence engulfed the room, draining all of the energy out of their conversation.

"Will you at least think about it?" Castle asked her with the last ounce of hope he could muster.

She nodded meekly. "I will."

"Oh my gosh, you guys, Mr. Marks is super excited about it, he's already told all of his associates about me AND he wants me to start on Monday!" Alexis came bounding back into the room.

"Oh, pumpkin, that's fantastic", Castle sounded as cheerful as he could.

"Yeah, I'm going to go to DVF, they just got in this really smart Reiko methyl blue suit, it's the perfect mix of elegant and optimistic. Mr. Marks will totally approve don't you think Dad?"

Castle shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sure you'll look beautiful in.. whatever that is."

Alexis gave her dad a hopeless eye roll and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you later Dad. Love you."

"Oh hey Alexis, wait up, I'll share a cab with you", Kate jumped up from her seat.

"Yeah, sure. You going to be able to survive without the two of us for a little while?" Alexis asked her father playfully.

Castle looked from Alexis to Beckett. "I'm sure I will cope, provided it's not forever."

Beckett averted her eyes from his; she was finding the longer she looked into them, the more they stung her.

"We'll be back in a couple of hours, I promise", Alexis told him.

He nodded, managing a smile for his daughter.

Before the two ladies left the room, Castle had one last word for Beckett. "Kate... promise me you are considering it."

Beckett pursed her lips. "I'll see you soon Rick."

...

"Excuse me, could you just pull over up here?"

"Kate, what are we doing here?" Alexis asked the cop as the taxi pulled up outside the cemetery where Captain Montgomery was buried.

"Drawing the curtain on a _long_ year of recovery", she gave the girl a smile.

Alexis swallowed. "You want me to come with?"

Beckett shook her head but smiled appreciatively toward the young girl. "No I need to do this alone."

Alexis nodded and touched Beckett on the shoulder.

Before Beckett exited the taxi, she touched Alexis on the knee and told her something she needed the girl to hear. "This might well be the last thing I do alone though... OK Pumpkin?"

Alexis obviously picked up on what Beckett was hinting at as she flung her arms around the older woman.

"I'll meet you back at the hospital later then?"

"You definitely will", Beckett told the teen, before jumping out of the cab, and waving as it rounded the corner.

Beckett took in her surroundings, silently promising herself it would be the last time she did that as well.

She eyed up the tree where the Mark 11 had sat and been triggered from, a year ago to the hour. Purposely, she moved passed it with no particular haste.

She came to the headstone that read. "Cpt. Roy Montgomery" and knelt down on the grass in front of it.

"Hi Cap. Sorry I haven't visited in a while. There have been things going on down here that have been...confusing, and I've found myself increasingly wishful that you were here to talk to about it all. You see there's this really cocky, arrogant guy by the name of Castle, you remember him?" Beckett chuckled. "Yeah I guess he's the kind of guy who gets into your system and makes it impossible to rid yourself of him, as hard as you might try." She shook her head. "Or maybe that's just me... Well, anyway Captain, as you may have already guessed, or maybe already seen even, I'm kind of a little bit crazy about him. I know this past year should have been about so much more than dealing with battling this constant suppression of my feelings for him but, he's made it impossible to concentrate on pretty much anything else. You know what he said to me don't you? Right here on this spot, one year and fifty three minutes ago? He told me he loved me. At first I convinced myself I didn't want to hear it, I tried to block it out, I've even been pretending that I don't remember anything from after the gun went off until I woke up in the hospital. But a few weeks ago, I started thinking differently, and do you know what changed my mind about finally telling the truth? It was you, Roy."

She dried her eyes with her sleeve, trying to pretend they were being stung by the wind.

"You never had to tell me the truth about your involvement with Lockwood or the man who killed my Mom or any of that stuff. The kind of courage that you displayed in that hangar went way beyond the badge. I just want you to know that I would have taken back shooting Dick Coonan, let McCallister walk free, left my Mom's case cold, if I could have stopped Lockwood from taking you away from this world, from your family. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel pain for your girls. They will have to live their lives, knowing that one of their parents was murdered, and nobody knows what that's like more than I do. I told you that night that I forgave you, and now I hope that you can forgive _me. _It's taken me far too long to say thisbut you're the bravest man I ever had the privilege to know Sir, and it was an honor to serve with you."

Beckett dried her eyes again. "Now that I've got that off my chest I'll get back to what I'm sure you really want to hear about." She chuckled. "I can see you up there now, watching down on me through a 72 inch flat screen; you always said that would be your idea of heaven. And I can just hear you: "Beckett, why in the hell haven't you gone ahead and told that that guy how you feel yet? Boy's good for you."

Beckett laughed at herself and then proceeded to divulge to her former Captain and friend, her intention to do just that.

...

Beckett met up with Alexis outside the hospital and greeted her with a radiant smile and a hug.

"Did you make your peace?" Alexis asked her, a hint of tentativeness in her voice.

Beckett wrapped an arm around Alexis and gave her shoulders an affectionate squeeze. "I think I was able to lay more than one thing to rest." She gave the girl a tender smile. "I'm ready to move on now... so yes, I made my peace."

Alexis broke free of Beckett's grasp on her shoulder and jumped in Beckett's arms with a tiny squeal. "Thank you Kate."

Beckett chuckled. "For what Alexis?"

"For giving me some freedom, for helping me to not feel so compelled to stay with Dad, for allowing me to go and live my own life. I can do that now because I know that he's got somebody with him that's going to take care of him, be with him and love him..." Alexis smiled broadly at Beckett's baffled look. "As much as I do."

Beckett's smile grew and grew until her face shone like the sun. She embraced Alexis roughly and kissed her on her cheek.

"You know he loves you too, don't you? We both do. And we always will."

"You make him so happy Kate. I know he's got the reputation as a big heartbreaker but from the way he talks about you I can tell that you would be the only one capable of breaking his heart."

Beckett shook her head. "I don't intend to do that. I promise you I don't."

Alexis nodded. "Well come on then Kate... your new life awaits." The teen motioned toward the hospital.

The two women shared an adoring smile and locked arms as they walked through the doors of Mount Sinai.

Again choosing to slip by the nurses station, Beckett and Alexis went straight to Castle's room, only to find he wasn't there.

"Kate, where is he? You don't think they would have discharged him without telling us do you?" Alexis asked in a panic.

"I'm sure he's around somewhere sweetie, let's just go and find Nurse Deepti or Doctor Turner or someone and find out, OK?"

The two ladies trailed the corridors of the ward and, looking for a medical professional. Finally, they found Doctor Turner who approached them looking more bright than they'd seen him before.

"Doctor, you're looking awfully chipper", Beckett greeted him.

"Well it's amazing what a night off can do for a man. That and the news that one of your most demanding, high-matinence patients has got the all-clear to go home", he raised his eyebrow suggestively.

Alexis was quick to react to the news. She jumped on the doctor, wrapping him in a giant hug.

Doctor Turner chortled as Alexis knocked the wind out of his sails. "Ooff...You're welcome."

"So where is he, then? We didn't miss him on our way in did we?" Beckett asked him.

"Are my ears burning?" A certain ruggedly-handsome writer's voice rung out in the hall.

Alexis and Beckett looked on bewildered as he walked toward them, aided on one side by Nurse Deepti.

"Dad!" Alexis smartly didn't barrel him over, though she did run at him and jump on the balls of her feet, in front of him, allowing him to extract his arm from around Nurse Deepti and fling it over his daughter instead.

"Now, the only thing left to do is to ensure that Mr. Rodgers will have the support he needs at home. We can put you in touch with some home help if need be..."

"No need", Beckett shook her head. "I'll be his home support."

The doctor tried to hide how unprofessional his interest really was, but his delighted smile gave him away. "Very good. Well Mr. Rodgers, I'll just write up your discharge forms and you and this lovely lady can get off... b-be off", he covered his slip up, and blushed.

But neither Beckett nor Castle noticed, they were too preoccupied with each other. Beckett approached Nurse Deepti and gave her a nod of thanks. "Thank you, we've got him from here."

Castle's face lit up as she looked at him with an expression and words laced with devotion. He smiled down at her with a devout smile. "And I've got you."


	9. Chapter 9

**Yup, so you may have noticed the story is now M - I thought this chapter warranted it! Also, this chapter is rather insane in length. Got just the teensiest (Cough) Hugest (Cough) bit carried away with it. **

**Just so you know I do have something of a life... it's just that 99% of that life happens to be Castle [Slips discretely back into her writing cave] ...**

Driving through the streets of New York city, Castle was dumbstruck.

"I know this is New York but is it still situated on planet Earth?" He asked the girls as they drove down the epi-centre of Times Square.

He wined. "Aw, where's Roxy Burlesk gone? The boys used to sneak in there all the time", he chucked recalling fond memories of naked women parading around him and his adolescent friends. Alexis gave him a look. He quickly tried to cover up the notion of any indiscretions he may have had in his younger days. "Ah, not me of course, my friends yes but I was on the straight and narrow, me", he gave a weak laugh.

Alexis shook her head at her dad. "Nice try Dad, but I've known you for nineteen years, I know all about your "friends" and how you were always their "lookout".

Castle chuckled, again obviously reminiscing. "Oh yeah, good times."

On the other side of Alexis, Beckett rolled her eyes. "Mayor Giuliani got rid of all those places years ago. Good riddance I say, New York is seedy enough without those hell holes to add to it."

"Giuliani finally got in? Ha. I remember when he lost to Dinkins, it was the closest election in New York's history."

"Yeah that record still stands", Alexis informed in.

"Really?" Castle looked at is daughter with pride. "You know, you really are a smart kid."

Alexis laughed. "Yeah, I've been told. When you're a teenager, It's been a blessing and curse."

Castle smiled and turned to look out the window. As they drove over the Manhattan bridge, Castle did a double take and then spent quite a few moments looking very confused.

"Something wrong, Dad?"

"Um, Kate, Alexis, perhaps I'm a little disorientated but... where are the twin towers?"

Beckett and Alexis gasped. "Oh Dad..."

"Shit", Beckett swore.

Their Middle-Eastern taxi driver glanced at them uncomfortably in the rear view mirror.

"What, did something happen?"

Beckett sighed deeply and shook her head. "Talk about head-exploding information... you're going to need this news spread out for you over the course of about a month."

Castle looked more perplexed.

"Just take in the city lights and look at all the good changes the city's gone through. Once we get you settled in at home, get you comfortable with your own private existence, then we'll work through some things that have happened on a larger scale."

Castle shook his head, still looking flummoxed, but kept quiet throughout the rest of the journey home.

...

"Few more steps...there we go. We're home Dad."

"Wow, nice building, even the doormen are charming, although everyone greeting me as "Mr. Castle" is still really strange to hear."

"Wait 'til you hear it followed by "Can you sign my G-string?" Beckett barbed him.

"Oh, I can't wait for that", Castle said gleefully.

Beckett rolled her eyes. He tilted his head to the side and winked at her. "Kidding."

She smiled, and shook her head to pretend she wasn't bothered by the notion of him signing women's clothing or lack thereof, but she had always been bothered by it in secret.

"This is ours right here", Alexis said, pulling out her key from the pocket of her jeans and unlocking the door to the loft.

The three of them walked inside and Castle blew a low whistle. "Not too shabby."

"Pretty nice, right?" Alexis gleamed.

"Yeah, I could see myself living here, most definitely."

"Yeah well, you bought it... didn't even tell Mom about it if I recall."

"Yeah I'm getting a picture as to why she left", Castle said, thoughtfully.

"Oh Dad, she didn't leave because of little things like that, she left because Hollywood was "calling her" and she just didn't love you as much as she loved the limelight", Alexis told him.

Both adults stared at her. She grimaced. "Yeah, that sounded a lot harsher than I meant it to."

Castle sighed. "It's OK pumpkin, by the sounds of it, we were both in the same boat, and you know I get it. She always was a little...preppy for my taste, really."

Beckett and Alexis looked at each other. Oh how they hoped he wouldn't want to know about all the women he'd been with since Meredith. His appetite for "preppy-ness" was certainly one thing that hadn't been scarce.

"Alexis, why don't you help your dad to the couch and I will order some food for us."

"Oh please tell me Mr. Wan is still is business." Castle droned.

Alexis smiled. "We only order from him like twice a week."

"Oh thank god, finally some normalcy!" Castle flopped down on to the couch. "Whoa... is that... a TV?"

"Hey Kate, why don't you stay with Dad and I'll go order from Mr. Wan's", Alexis suggested.

"Whichever one of you is ordering, I would kill for some sake beef", Castle informed them.

Beckett raised her eyebrow at him. He pursed his lips. "I guess that's probably not such a good phrase to use in front of a cop."

Alexis chuckled. "I'll call. Kate, you sit."

Beckett saluted Alexis who chuckled again as she walked into the kitchen.

"Take a seat partner", Castle wagged his eyebrows.

Beckett bit back a grin as she sat down next to him on the couch. "So, what do you think of your place, Rodgers?"

Castle nodded his head. "Very nice, little sterile perhaps...I don't clean it myself do I? I can't imagine being that domestic."

"Ah, you're pretty domestic when you want to be, but no I believe you have a cleaner who comes in once a week", Beckett told him.

"How did you come to know the extent of my domestication?" Castle asked Beckett with a look in his eye.

She pressed on quickly. "I've seen you cook pancakes before the sun was completely up."

"Me? No!" Castle gasped in mock shock.

"It's true", Beckett grinned.

Castle's grin fell as his brain clicked to something. Beckett caught it. Uh oh, she knew what was coming next.

"When did you witness me cooking breakfast?"

Beckett sighed. "You do know how to ask the most difficult questions, don't you?"

Castle chuckled and then his face fell again. "Kate... I've got to know. What happened-"

Beckett placed her hand on Castle's and looked him in the eyes. "When you're a little more settled and after our food gets here, OK?" She raised her head toward the kitchen. "Hey Alexis, have you called Mr. Wan yet?"

"Yeah, they said about forty minutes."

"OK, thanks. Forty minutes OK? Let's just spend that time in blissful ignorance... I think ignorance about this is something a lot of us would..." she swallowed and gave him a half-smile. "Love to be able to have."

"Something really bad happened, didn't it?"

"Forty minutes Rick. Then we'll have dinner... and a movie."

Castle raised his eyebrow at her. "So not just your garden variety bad then..."

Beckett said nothing.

Castle inhaled deeply. "Right."

...

The food arrived within the forty minutes and after opening it, Castle, Beckett and Alexis sat and watched "9/11", the movie made by french filmmakers in 2002. Castle spent the whole of the documentary with his sake beef on his fork, suspended in mid-air, half-way between his styrofoam container and his mouth.

As the credits rolled, Alexis excused herself with a hasty goodnight to both Castle and Beckett and ran up to her room, clearly upset.

"You're beef's gone cold", Beckett informed him gently.

"I'm not hungry", Castle whispered.

"Are you alright?" Beckett asked her partner, who was sitting back in his chair, looking anguished.

"Close to twenty-eight hundred people..." He croaked.

Beckett nodded solemnly. "I know."

Castle sighed and shook a tear from his eye. "Why do I write what I write?"

Beckett didn't understand the context of the question so she stayed silent, opting instead to let him continue.

"What am I doing writing about murder when there have been so many senseless deaths occurring for real?"

Beckett took in a shaky breath and thought back to how his books helped her through her mother's murder. "I think it helps a lot of folks. Romanticizing death kind of helps the victim's families to cope. Envisioning Nikki Heat or Derrick Storm on the case for instance, sometimes allows them to imagine themselves as characters in the novel, to put themselves in the story and outside of the reality of their own cold hard truth. Eventually the fantastical element fades, but for a little while it's there and... it helps them get through."

"Does it help you get through your cases as a cop? Is that why you read them?"

Beckett nodded her head, and told him yet another thing Beckett never would have been open or brave enough to tell Castle. "Yes, your books help me get through."

Castle sniffed, leaning back in his chair again. "Twenty eight hundred.._._"

...

It didn't take long for Castle to fall asleep and after Beckett removed the fork from his hand and packed up all the "dishes", disposing of them in the recycling bin, she returned to the living room. Deciding against waking him up, she went to find a blanket in the hall cupboard. When she returned, he'd curled up into a ball on the couch.

Very quietly she lay the blanket on top of him and clenched her fists nervously as he tussled with it for a moment. Ultimately though, he stilled and relaxed into a deep slumber.

She smiled tenderly as she took him in, his shoulders rising and falling in his contented state. Even more quietly than when she'd placed the blanket on him, she leaned down and placed the softest of kisses on his forehead. She couldn't help but run her fingers through the soft tips of his hair as she whispered to him. "Goodnight Rick."

She stayed a while longer, just to listen to the sweet and beautiful sound of him breathing. It meant that he was still here, and not only that, he was here with her. As she turned and walked out of the room, Castle sighed dreamily "Goodnight Kate."

...

The next morning, Castle awoke to the sound of sizzling and the smell of bacon. Very wearily, and with great difficulty, he managed to sit himself up on the couch. He took in his surroundings, trying to compute in his mind where exactly he was.

Home. Yes, he was home, in his living room. On his couch. And by the smell of things, there was someone at work in his kitchen.

"Kate?"

Within two seconds, Beckett was at his side, carrying a can of whipped cream. "Hey, morning, everything OK?"

"Yeah, are you... making breakfast?" He asked sounding diverted.

"Mhm, bacon, and banana waffles with whipped cream... a Castle family favorite, according to Alexis."

"Well, well, she's beautiful and she cooks", Castle beamed.

Beckett blushed.

"Did Alexis put you up to this? She's obviously got you wrapped around her little finger." Castle asked her with laugh.

Beckett rolled her eyes at him. "No, she isn't even up yet... can't a girl make breakfast, without persuasion?"

"It's never happened in my world", Castle chuckled.

"Well maybe I do have an ulterior motive for making breakfast for you", Beckett told him coyly.

Castle's eyes popped. "W-What is that?" He asked hoarsely.

Beckett carefully sprayed a little bit of whipped cream on her index finger and then slid it into her mouth seductively.

"I _love_ whipped cream in a can."

Castle blushed as he realized she'd played him intentionally. He narrowed his eyes and smirked. "You keep that up and that hot ass you've got yourself is going to start to droop like a basset hound's eyes."

Beckett's jaw dropped and she picked up the nearest couch pillow and threw it at him. "If you weren't injured I would pummel you."

Castle laughed.

After the silliness died down, her face turned serious. "How are you anyway?" She asked him with a calm smile.

He sighed deeply. "I'm... in limbo. After last night, I realize I still have a lot to learn about the current world."

"Oh yeah, you've got that right, but don't worry not all the bombshells are going to hit quite so hard as that one."

Castle acknowledged her with a half smile. "So when am I going to get the opportunity to rate your cooking, anyway?"

Beckett smirked at him. "Ah..." She extended her arm out to him. "I believe your table is ready now, Mr. Rodgers."

...

"Wow", Castle said appreciatively after eating Beckett's pancakes and bacon. "Those were some seriously good twenty-first century pancakes."

Beckett looked delighted. "I'm pleased you enjoyed them, but just know you won't be eating like this every day." She eyed him up and down. "Or _your_ ass will start dropping like a lead balloon."

Castle scoffed indignantly. "I happen to think my ass is pretty nice for someone in his forties."

"Mm", Beckett agreed, but shrugged so that it looked more like she was being nonchalant.

Castle hadn't missed her checking him out. "How old are you anyway?"

This time Beckett scoffed. "None of your business, you don't ask a lady her age."

Castle narrowed his eyes. "Twenty-nine."

Beckett opened her mouth to refute but then she felt compelled to let him believe she was younger than she actually was. "Damn it, you got me."

"I was right? Yes!" Castle clapped his hand together.

Beckett shook her head playfully at him and then got up to place the plates in the sink.

"Here let me help with those", Castle insisted.

"Are you kidding? You can barely walk", Beckett brushed him off.

Castle frowned. "Yeah, you're right... Hey, I'm dying for a shower, where's the bathroom?"

At that moment, Alexis came downstairs. "Hey guys, you sleep OK?"

"Just fine Alexis. You?" Beckett asked the teen.

"Yeah, not bad. Kept seeing black smoke and people running, and that feeling where you think you're falling."

"Hypnagogia." The girls looked at Castle after he said the word.

"That's what it's called that feeling you get when you're asleep and you think you're falling... And yeah, I had it last night too", her father told her, placing a hand on her arm.

"There's some breakfast here for you sweetie, I'm just going to take your dad to the bathroom", Beckett told the young girl with a smile.

"Thanks Kate, you're awesome", Alexis smiled back.

Beckett escorted Castle down his hall to where the bathroom was. On the way, the pair passed his bedroom.

"Hey, I haven't seen my bedroom yet."

"There'll be plenty of time for us to do that later", Beckett assured him.

Realizing what she'd said, Castle and Beckett stared at each other half-embarrassed, half-aroused.

Beckett cleared her throat. "Bathroom." They continued on.

"Here's a towel, I'll get you some fresh clothes from your room and leave them by the door. If you just throw your dirty ones in the corner, I'll put them in the hamper after. I'm sure showers haven't changed that much since the nineties so... I'll see you when you get out."

"Whoa whoa wait, you have to help me", Castle hollered out before she could walk out the bathroom door.

"What?" Beckett sounded chagrinned.

"I had a nurse shower me every day for the last week. I'm handicap-able until this sling comes off."

Beckett gaped like a fish deprived of water.

"I just need you to help me get my shirt over my head, then you can turn around until I'm in the shower, and which point I will need your assistance in washing my back and possibly my legs... ooh and my hair, it's all gross and greasy."

Beckett laughed bitterly. "You think this is funny don't you?"

Castle looked at her seriously. "Which part, that I'm incapable of physically washing myself or that I don't have the mental capacity to arrange an alternative?"

Beckett sighed. "I-I don't even have a change of clothes here."

Castle shrugged. "So?"

"So what am I going to wear when my clothes are soaked in the shower?"

Castle looked at her dumbly.

Beckett gaped at him. "Richard Rodgers we are NOT getting in the shower together _naked_!"

Castle sighed. "Go and ask Alexis for something to wear, you two can't be that much different in size can you?"

Beckett still looked hesitant but she stomped her foot on the ground. "Wait here."

When she left to go ask Alexis if she had any clothes that Beckett could borrow, Castle checked his hair in the mirror, primping himself for Beckett's return.

When she did return, he quickly swung back around and pretended to be interested in the towel rack.

"So?" He prodded.

"She had an even better idea...swimsuit", Beckett held up the skimpy suit and tried to smile but really she looked anything but happy.

Castle pursed his lips. "I think my daughter is trying to tell us something."

"Yeah, in a not exactly subtle way", Beckett said. "I'm going to go change, I'll be back in a minute."

"Change here", Castle shrugged, trying his best to look unassuming. "I won't peek."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Yeah right...I'll change in your room."

Castle smirked as she exited. She took only a minute to change out of her clothing and into Alexis' pink two-piece and when she returned, Castle's mouth hit the floor.

"Um, y-you-w-whoa-wow."

Beckett smirked "How eloquent...come on, your turn, and don't be hasty with those pants either, or I _will_ drop you. I'm here to help you get the shirt off remember? The rest is up to you."

Castle nodded mutely, his mouth still hanging open. Before Beckett came closer, he said one thing. "You know thinking of you naked in my bedroom _really_..."

"Castle..."

Castle stopped talking and narrowed his eyes at Beckett. "Don't call me that."

"Don't give me a reason to."

Hesitantly Beckett moved toward him, her breathing shallow and uneven. A plume of thick air seemed to fill the room, circling them both, drawing them in. The air was tepid, hot and it pressed down on them like it intended to keep them there in that sticky moment, with one of them half-undressed and undressing the other; forever.

Castle swallowed as Beckett gently grabbed the lapel of his jacket and then slid her hand underneath the collar, pulling down as humanely as she could, so as not to cause further pain to Castle's arm. Little did she know that what the agonizingly slow speed of her actions were doing to Castle was anything but humane.

He took in her concentrated and fixed expression on his clothes. She would not look into his eyes. She'd promised herself that, and he could tell.

Once she'd removed his jacket, which he hadn't even noticed had been disposed of already, she began unbuttoning his shirt. This she did with as much haste as possible, without tugging too much. Castle might have thought she was just trying to get this embarrassing ordeal over with quickly, but the truth was she'd wanted to get the shirt off this particular chest for quite some years now, and now that the opportunity had presented itself, she was finding herself a little bit impatient.

Beginning with the second button, which was the top one done up, and working her way down, she kept her gaze on his middle chest area. By the time she'd reached the final button, she'd forgotten all about Castle's arm. It wasn't until she tried to tug his sleeve away from his torso, and was met with Castle's yelp, that she apologized and worked slower at getting his sleeves off.

Once she had discarded that as well, she took a moment to take in his glorious form. Alexis had obviously not seen him shirtless in a while because she was wrong when she'd insinuated her father did not have abs, well maybe she was just too embarrassed to admit so. They weren't perhaps quite as prominent as they once might have been but to her they were very apparent, and very touchable.

Focus Katherine.

"See something you like?" Castle asked her cocksurely.

Beckett inhaled a quick breath. "N-no", she turned away, flustered. "Just call me when you're in the shower, OK?"

She left the bathroom quickly.

...

"Kate, I'm ready...ah, jeez!"

Beckett rushed back into the bathroom. "What did you do?" She asked in a flurry. The two of them were separated by the shower curtain.

"W-water is c-cold."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Are you facing away?"

"Yes- Ah OK, that's better. Water's great now Kate, come on in..."

"I am certain to regret this", Beckett said to herself, as she drew the curtain back a little way and climbed in behind Castle.

"OK, I'm here."

"Yeah, I can feel you breathing on me", Castle told her. Beckett wasn't altogether comfortable with the level of cheekiness in his voice, so she took a step back.

"What do you want me to do first?"

"Oh my hair...please, I've been dying for a descent hair wash for days!"

"Are you sure the doctor allowed that?"

"Yeah, he said a little wash would be good for the ole head wound, help clean it out."

"Alright, where's the shampoo?"

"How should I know?"

"Castle... Oh wait it's behind me", Beckett huffed.

She heard Castle make a little noise of amusement as she popped the lid open. Purposefully, she poured it on the back of his head so that half of the amount came running down his neck, causing him to jump at the cold sensation.

"Heh, hah! Sheesh Kate, you trying to give me hypothermia?"

The mention of hypothermia brought Beckett's memory back to around fifteen months prior when the two of them had been locked together in that industrial freezer. The damn hypothermia had prevented her from almost telling him what she still hadn't built up the courage to say.

"Kate, you still there?" Castle asked her, breaking her from her thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here." Beckett began rubbing the shampoo gently into Castle's thick hair, careful not to temper the wound. Even with the messiness of the suds, his locks felt soft and luscious in her hands.

Castle closed his eyes, moaning at the immense pleasure the head massage was giving him. What he didn't know was that Beckett was getting just as much out of it as he was.

"Feels like I haven't washed my hair in twenty years", Castle chuckled.

"Huh, well in a way I guess that kind of makes sense", Beckett reasoned.

"I'm so glad you're doing this and not a nurse or someone else", Castle smiled.

Beckett laughed. "Yeah, I bet you are."

"No, it's just, who else is going to be the perfect height to wash my hair, like you are?"

Beckett tilted her head back, lathering the soap in. "Oh, I see."

"Alright, step forward, and we'll wash it out", Beckett stepped forward but Castle somehow hadn't heard her and so she ended up running into him with a slap.

"Rick, I said step forward", Beckett said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, woops sorry, couldn't hear you over the water." He took a step forward and Beckett rinsed his hair out as the water cascaded over it.

"Alright that's done, now what?"

"Um, well I guess we better get the kind of embarrassing stuff over...legs", Castle said meekly.

Beckett took a minute bracing herself. "Right, where's the soap?"

"Uh, here..." Castle reached behind himself to give Beckett the soap.

Beckett's eyes looked downward, she tried to make them bypass his backside but they wouldn't do it. Instead they were determined to fixate on it for a little while. Beckett went cross-eyed, staring at his taught buttocks until hot water got into her eyes and forced her to blink.

"OK, I'm ah...I'm going down", Beckett shook her head at the connotation she'd just unintentionally made. She crouched down on her knees and deciding that closing her eyes was probably the option that would be least uncomfortable for herself, she felt around for his feet and began moving the soap up and down from that point. She scrubbed hard and let the soap lather his legs that felt like they had no end.

"OK, I think that's enough. If you could just stand up now and hold me steady while I lift my legs to let the shower head rinse them."

"Alright... coming up." Beckett stood again. "Ah, where do you want me to-?"

Castle had her hand in his before she could finish the question. "Just here", he said nonchalantly, bringing her right hand around with his to clasp onto his waist. "And the same on the other side if you will, please", the man had the gall to say it like it was so normal.

So NOT sexual. So NOT imposing or arousing or damned intrusive on Beckett's womanly needs and flaming desires.

"O-O-OK", she stammered, becoming more and more flustered by the second.

The sooner she got out of this shower, and out of the direct vicinity of this man; the better.

Castle lifted each of his legs in turn and finally he dismissed her of her duties.

"Alright, I'm going to let you get out and dry as much of yourself as possible. Call me when you want me to dry your back and stuff..." Beckett bolted from the shower without any further ado.

Once out of that room that had felt like it was suffocating her, Beckett collapsed back against the door, panting. Never had she been in a situation so incredibly awkward and so totally erotic all at once!

She stood there, catching her breath. It felt like only ten seconds to Beckett before she was called back in again.

He'd made a pretty decent job of covering himself with the towel at the front.

Damn it.

Beckett came in and stood behind him. "Where's the other towel?" She asked.

"Um, I think it's on the rack."

Beckett looked at the rack up and down. No towel.

"I don't see it", she told him.

"It should be there", he said assuredly.

"Well it's not", she spat back.

"Try looking harder because it's _there_", Castle said angrily.

"It's a towel rack, Rick, it's not the Albanian countryside, I've searched high and low and I'm telling you it is not there."

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Castle spun around before Beckett could properly interject, but he did have a towel covering himself after all.

"It's there on the floor, must've fallen d- Rick!"

Too late. Castle tripped on the towel and went flying into Beckett, knocking her off her feet and sending her straight into the basin, landing less than gracefully on top of her.

A very awkward position indeed.

"Rick? Rick, why have you got your eyes closed?"

"Privacy."

"Well that's sweet but, you do realize that... I'm not the one who's naked here."

Slowly Castle's eyes flickered open. The two of them stared at each other for an eternity, until Beckett's chest began rising and falling with laughter.

Soon Castle was following suit. Both of them were aware how insane and uncomfortable this whole idea really was now. And surprise, surprise; neither of them cared.

Soon the laughter died down. "Damn, I missed a spot in your hair."

"Where?"

Beckett reached up and with two fingers she stroked his hair until the foamy bit of shampoo was extracted from it. With no where more convenient to wipe her fingers, she rubbed the shampoo onto his chest with a giggle. "There."

He huffed with defiance, but his playful smile told a different truth. He wiped the foam off himself with his index finger and dabbed Beckett's nose with it, so that she had a foamy tip.

She squealed with protest, but her eyes belied her.

And soon there was no foam, there was only that thick air back again, that static contingence, forcing them together like a magnet and a dessert spoon.

Both had stopped laughing, each grappling with the urge to start again, so as to back out of this situation. But it was futile now. It was too late to salvage the ship Denial...

"Gram!" The scream of delight sounded from Castle's living room.

Beckett closed her eyes briefly. She couldn't believe it, it was like some miserable kind of de ja vu.

"Who's that?" Castle asked as he heard Martha's voice from the living room. But that dramatic flair and husky low tone could only be one person.

"Mother!" Excitedly, Castle tried to get up off of Beckett, but failed with the impairment of his arm.

"OK, take it easy Rick, let me slide out and then I'll help you."

Beckett breathed out a breath she'd been holding for a week and and slid out from underneath him. She helped Castle to his feet and with a short word of thanks, and the quickest of quick-changes, Castle was beyond ready to run out to the lounge.

"OK, let's go, I can see you're chomping at the bit", Beckett gave him a smile that she tried not to appear so sad.

"Oh Kate," Castle took her by the arm and looked at her apologetically. Before Beckett knew it, his lips had collided with hers and then were gone as quick as they'd arrived.

"I promise you we'll get there. If you promise me the same, then there'll be no stopping us."

"Wanna bet", Beckett thought in her head, recounting their numerous near-misses over the years. She just nodded and took him by the hand, helping him out of the stuffy bathroom at last.

They went through the house and found Martha and Alexis mid-way through an animated conversation.

Beckett's ears burned as she caught the tail end of it.

"Yeah Kate's helping dad in the shower", Alexis's voice sounded slightly devious.

"Is she now?" Martha's voice was downright incorrigible, as usual.

At the sight of them, Alexis nodded to her grandmother who had her back to the pair.

Martha turned around and instantly became misty. "Ooh well, not any more...Kate, I can't thank you enough for what you've done for my baby and my... other baby", she eyed Castle up as if she was looking at a stranger.

"Hello... son. It's me Richard, it's your mother."

Castle's eyes were narrowed as if he were confused but he was only trying to keep the tears from spilling out of them.

"I know it must be a shock seeing me like this, looking so... different. Everything has shifted or fallen or gone completely... couple of things are new", she winked. "I must appear so changed to you now."

Castle shook his head. "You're exactly the same."

"Oh, Richard", Martha welled up and pulled her son into a bear hug. (If bears were short and thin and wore too much mascara.)

"I love you Mother", Castle cried into the familiar embrace he'd been holding out for.

Martha held on to her son even tighter, as tears poured down her own cheeks. "Right back at ya kiddo. Right back at ya."


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for all the support on my story guys - all the alert subs and favorites, you all are totally awesome! **

**Really hope you enjoy this chapter - it's not quite as insane as the last one - tehe!**

The next day was Monday, which meant it was Alexis's first day as a working professional.

"I'm sorry I don't know what you usually eat, so I didn't know what to pack in your little lunchbox", Castle held up Alexis's old pink Tinkerbell school lunch pail.

"Dad!" Alexis snatched the lunchbox out of her father's, looking embarrassed as if the school's cool kids were hanging around nearby.

"What?" Castle shrugged innocently.

"I probably would have been totally rapturous with joy if you'd brought me that when I was...five."

Castle pouted. "Yeah...I just can't believe I've missed out on raising my only child."

Alexis shrugged. "You never know, I might not be your only child for long, you might _finally_ give me that little brother or sister I've always wanted." Castle didn't see her looking in the direction of Beckett who was descending the stairs.

She left Castle to compute that thought and approached Beckett who had beckoned her over.

"OK, here's a fifty for lunch with the guys", at the look of resistance Alexis gave her, Beckett stared the girl down. "Take it Alexis, no exceptions. Today you become a woman in the workforce, so...", she squared Alexis's shoulders. "Head up; if you don't have confidence in yourself, no one else will. Walk tall, act taller; you are a smart, beautiful woman, now is your time to take control of your life. And nobody can do that, but you."

Alexis hugged Beckett. "If I didn't have you here to give me that speech of empowerment, I-I just..." Meeting a loss of words, she simply held on to Beckett tighter. "You're an angel Kate."

The two women broke the embrace and Beckett squeezed Alexis's hand. "Kick some ass", both women grinned and shared a little squeal.

Alexis's eye caught the wall clock and she gasped. "Shoot, I've got to meet the 9:07 bus! Bye Dad, love you both" And in a flurry, she was out of the door.

Beckett chuckled and turned to Castle who was staring at her admirably. "How did you get so good with kids?" He asked her.

"Alexis is hardly a kid, she's a woman now, and women are one thing I know well."

Castle's eyes widened as he gave her a curious once-over.

She rolled her eyes. "Not in that way." She came to sit next to him at the breakfast bar.

He chuckled lightly. "Alexis said something about wanting a little brother or sister... what is that about?"

Beckett froze momentarily as she went to pour her orange juice. "I've got no idea, as far as I'm aware Alexis has always been really content with it just being the two of you."

"What kind of childhood did she have with me?" Castle turned his body fully to Beckett, looking enquiring.

Beckett smiled. "An absolutely wonderful one. You two had a very special relationship. Most girls would envy the childhood Alexis had."

"Did I spoil her?" Castle asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

Beckett touched him on the knee. "As I said, most girls would envy the childhood she had. Would you consider being raised to be a spoiled brat an enviable position to find yourself in?"

Castle shook his head.

"And does Alexis seem out of control and high maintenance to you?"

Again, Castle shook his head. "No she's perfect", his eyes twinkled.

"Well there you go", Beckett withdrew her hand from Castle's knee. Castle looked down at the spot where her warmth hand just departed. "So what are we doing today?"

"Whatever you want, I am completely at your service Mr. Rodgers", Beckett said, invested in the headlines of the newspaper.

Castle raised his eyebrow, liking the sound of that. "Within reason", Beckett added, sensing a flurry of unorthodox or inappropriate suggestions.

Castle pouted, which Beckett caught out of the corner of her eye. She smirked.

"Good morning dear number one, dear number two", Martha greeted them, kissing each of them on the cheek, in turn.

"Mother, what have you got planned for the day?" Castle asked the red headed bombshell.

"Well I have a coffee date with a backer at ten o'clock, then a lunch date with Jean-Paul my voice coach, three o'clock I have a meeting with Brianne who I'm starring opposite in a new off-broadway play called "The golden girl and the spinster"; in case you were wondering, she doesn't play the spinster..." Castle raised his eyebrows at Beckett, wondering how the actress fit everything into her day. "And then I have an evening class to teach."

Castle blew a low whistle. "Wow, that certainly is a planned out day, none of which sounds particularly flexible."

"Oh darling, I know you were probably hoping to spend a little more time with your mommy dearest, but my life is run on schedule these days, and I'm afraid I've trained myself to be a woman of independence. These appointments have been in my diary for weeks, and I'd be putting out a lot of important people if I were to rearrange them now."

Castle sighed. "I know mother...you go, I'll be fine."

"Oh of course you will, you've got a gorgeous woman that's going to be hanging around you all day... you're going to be just gravy, hunny."

Beckett pursed her lips as Martha moved like a tornado around the house, babbling unintelligibly to herself.

Beckett giggled. "Your mom is so...vivacious, so full of life. I'm so in awe of her."

Castle smiled affectionately at his jittering parent. "Yeah, she's great."

Beckett's face turned stony as she thought of her own mother, as she did almost ritualistically every day.

"What about your mom, is she around?" Castle asked her.

Beckett swallowed. "No, she's not, she ah... she died when I was nineteen."

Castle gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to hear that. Nineteen, that's young. Must've been hard."

Beckett breathed in. "Yes, it was... it's still hard, every day."

Castle nodded his head. "So, this year must be the ten year anniversary then, you planning anything special for it?"

Beckett squinted her eyes at him, confused.

"Nineteen... you're twenty-nine years old now, right? So that's ten years."

Beckett noticed the half-concealed humor in his face. She bit her lip and he laughed at her. "Alright, so I might be a _little_ bit older than twenty-nine."

Castle sighed. "Whew. You know I'm kinda glad. I couldn't see myself as a forty one year old, being with a woman who was more than ten years my junior. I don't know much about myself but I'm sure I was over dating women in their twenties a long time ago."

Beckett blushed, as did Castle when he realized what he'd actually said. "What's dating got to do with it?"

Castle looked deeply humiliated until she continued. "You should know, I don't date men... men court me", the spark in her eye made Castle unable to contain a little grin. "Good to know."

Martha snuck up behind them. "Alright, my two little treasures. Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do", she turned to Beckett. "And bear in mind, that's not a lot", she winked and Beckett barked with laughter.

"Goodbyyye", she sang as she waltzed out the door of the loft.

Castle shook his head "Oh my word, how did I turn out to be so sane?"

"I think you've got to credit your nannies for that one", Beckett told him.

"Oh yeah, I had some pretty niiice nannies. Stacey Fererra, she stayed on until I was fifteen."

"Fifteen? Who needs a nanny when they're-"

Castle had his lips pursed deviously.

Beckett shook her head. "Boys and their hormones."

"Oh yeah", Castle chuckled. "Me and mine were such good friends."

"So, I guess we could just sit here all day, and you can re-farmiliarize yourself with...yourself."

"And how would I go about doing that?" Castle asked her.

"There's plenty of written material for you to go by... you never know you might just get the urge to start writing something new", Beckett suggested.

Castle smirked. "We're not even on the job and you're encouraging me. The guys told me that when I first started following you around, you hated it. Now, you just want me to give your character a juicy new story line."

Beckett put her hand on her hip. "Hey, I'm your muse, it's my job to inspire you."

Castle looked at her with sparking eyes again. "Aw Kate, you do that without even trying."

Beckett blushed and swirled her glass of juice. "Actually there is one place I would like to take you. Only if you're willing, that is."

"As long as it involves spending more time with you, then I'm there", Castle smiled.

...

"Dr. Burke, this is Richard Rodgers, formerly known as "Castle", Beckett introduced Castle to her therapist.

"Mr. Rodgers, I've heard a lot about you", Dr. Burke told the writer.

"All good things I hope", Castle flashed him a grin.

"I think I'll leave that to Kate to surmise for your benefit", he told him sleekly.

Castle raised his eyebrow. "Oh it's like that is it Kate?" He leered in Beckett's direction.

She smiled cutely at Castle. "I won't deny that a lot of my sessions have been spent talking about a certain bestselling author", Beckett walked toward him. "And how annoying and stubborn and... I'll be damned if he hasn't been the best thing to happen to me in years."

Behind Beckett, Dr. Burke smiled discretely to himself.

Castle's eyes shone. "Well, in that case..."

"I brought you here for more than to just feed your ego though Rick. I wanted you to be here to witness what I feel is a rather auspicious occasion", she inhaled.

"Dr. Burke", she turned toward the deep-voiced doctor. "I think I finally managed to let go of all of those things we've been talking about. Yesterday I visited the spot where..." She glanced at Castle who didn't know what she was talking about. "Where it happened. I talked to the headstone of Montgomery and I felt... liberated. I felt free, and I think I am free."

Dr. Burke looked at her gently. "Is this you telling me that this is your last session?"

Kate nodded with a smile. "Yes, I think it's time."

Dr. Burke took a step toward her. "Kate, I would like to say that you've been a joy to work with, but we both know that would be a lie." Beckett laughed.

The therapist continued. "You've been stubborn and withdrawn and at times a superb pain in the ass", he cracked a smile. "But then I feel I got through. I managed to touch something inside of you that you hadn't let anyone else into."

Beckett nodding, accepting his comment.

"And I'm glad of that. And I am proud. of. you." He took her by the shoulders and spoke deliberately and sincerely to her.

"Thank you Doctor Burke, for everything", Beckett wrapped her arms around her therapist for the last time and held tight to him, conveying her gratitude.

When they withdrew, the doctor smiled at her and then turned to Castle. "You take care, the both of you. Be good to one another."

Beckett walked over to join Castle by the office door. "And Kate, remember what I said."

Beckett acknowledged him. "To grab on to the next monkey bar, you have to let go of the last", Beckett beamed.

"And when you reach the end is when you stop being a monkey." Dr. Burke grinned back at the little inside joke they shared.

"I still intend to be a little primal though", she winked as she pinched Castle on the backside.

Castle looked at her in surprise and she smiled salaciously at him.

Dr. Burke laughed as they left his office.

...

Beckett and Castle took a gentle walk to a park nearby Dr. Burke's office.

"What are we doing here?" Castle asked Beckett.

"Alexis told me the other day that you used to bring her here all the time. I just thought it was a nice idea to come here today. My parents used to bring me here as well."

"Really? That's sweet", Castle smiled at her.

"Yeah, we used to play baseball right over there", Beckett pointed to a part of the park that was occupied by a group of young kids playing ball.

"It's comforting to know that some things never change, huh?" Castle followed her gaze.

Beckett turned to him and smiled. "Yes it is."

The pair of them walked over to a picnic table near to them and sat down across from one another.

"So, Kate Beckett."

Beckett smiled widely. "Rick Rodgers."

"I feel I should interrogate you now."

Beckett pursed her lips. "Is that so?" She shrugged. "You can try, there's no guarantee you'll crack me though."

"Oh you just watch", Castle eyed her up and down in a seductive manner.

Beckett blushed.

"Where did your parents get married?"

"Hmm, Saint Andrews church, very traditional."

"Very beautiful... Roman Catholics huh?"

Beckett smiled. "My father is yeah."

"About your father, where is he?"

"He's in the city, I see him on a regular basis. He watches out for me, I watch out for him."

Castle nodded. "Sounds like me and my girl."

"Yeah well, I think you and yours are a little more stable than we were."

Castle pursed his lips. "I see. Well, what about your childhood, you say you used to play here so you obviously lived nearby."

"Yeah we had a place a couple of blocks over. My Mom worked at a law office around here."

"She was a lawyer?"

"A civil rights attourney. One of the best", Beckett smiled.

"So that's where your quest for justice came from huh?"

Beckett looked at him thoughtfully. "Yeah, my Mom definitely made me want to find justice for those who were murdered. If only to bring some peace to their families."

Castle shook his head with a smile. "I still can't believe I help put bad guys away."

"You do more than that Rick, you help the innocent to be set free as well. And you help me in my job to bring a little solace back to people's lives."

Castle smiled at her gently. "I know I'm not in top form, well obviously, but do you think one day I might be able to...come back?"

Beckett opened her mouth uncertainly. "Rick, I don't know..."

"Oh please Kate, it sounds amazing. AND it sounds like I was pretty helpful", he gleamed at her.

Beckett couldn't help but smile at his insistence. "One day we will both go back. For now though, we are together here, in the park. We're enjoying life, I'm kind of liking being a lady of leisure you know?" She grinned.

Castle looked at her with a grin of his own. "You do know I'm rich, right? And we're living together. You don't actually have to work again. When Alexis goes to college, you and I could just... run away together."

Beckett _actually_ considered it. "Yeah but the money would run out pretty quick."

"You could do freelance modeling", Castle suggested.

"I don't know, I think life would become pretty unsatisfying, not taking down criminals all the time", Beckett smirked, playing along.

"Are you doubting my ability to satisfy you?" Castle asked her, leaning into her.

Beckett blushed and she looked into his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat, and his breathing had stopped completely.

Uh oh. Those eyes again. Do not do it Kate, don't lean in, don't lean in- You're leaning in...

Beckett came closer to him, attracted by the fire in his eyes. Like a moth to a flame she felt her stomach be squashed by the table as her mouth came to meet his. Just as their lips touched, something small and round bounced between them on the table.

Beckett yelped and leapt back, nearly falling back on the grass. Castle however wasn't so successful as he didn't have the capacity with his injured arm, to grab on to the table.

"Rick! Are you OK?" Beckett rushed around the other side of the table to help him up.

Castle grunted as she helped him to his feet. Then his face twisted into delight as he held up the baseball in his hand. The group of children who had been playing ball were approaching him looking nervous.

He regarded them. "Who's the batter?"

A boy of around twelve held up his hand.

"You'rrrrre out buddy!" Castle chuckled.

"No way you caught that curve ball", another young man said to him doubtfully.

"Yes way!" Castle grinned.

"Nu-uh"

"Ya-huh"

"ALRIGHT boys! That's enough, Castle give them their ball back", Beckett interrupted the ensuing argument.

"Oh can't I stay and play Kate, please?" Castle pouted in her direction. He then turned back to the boys and straightened himself up to look more impressive and imposing. "If it's OK with you men of course."

The boys shared a look and a few whispers. The batter stepped forward. "You're arm is kind of busted, dude."

Castle chuckled. "Dude. College pitcher", he pointed to himself.

The boys shared another glance. The batter nodded. "Alright CC Sabathia, let's see what you got."

Castle turned to Beckett and furrowed his brow. "Who?" he whispered.

Beckett shook her head with a smile, and motioned for him to go play.

Castle threw a fastball, getting the batter out with a "Bam said the lady!"

Beckett shook her head at him when he looked over at her with a smile.

He shrugged "What?"

She shot him a hopeless look.

The next boy up to the plate was a small blonde boy who couldn't have been older than eight.

Beckett cleared her throat loudly so that Castle could hear her. He turned around to meet her concerned gaze. "Be. Nice." She instructed him.

He threw up his hand as if to say. "Why would I be otherwise?"

"OK pal, you ready?" Castle asked the small boy as Beckett took a seat on the grass.

The small boy nodded assuredly. Castle threw the ball underarm to him.

The little boy swung the bat and missed.

"That's alright, ball number two. Here it comes, you ready?", Castle reassured the boy before throwing the next ball.

Perched on her spot on the grass, Beckett smiled at his sweet interaction with the young boy.

Again the boy missed and this time he hit himself in the head with the bat.

The rest of the boys all laughed at him. The boy with the bat cried and ran off into a grouping of nearby bushes.

Beckett felt concern for the little boy and she stood up to go to him. He was crouched between the flax and was sobbing his poor little heart out.

"Hey buddy, you OK?" Beckett crouched beside him.

The little boy turned away from her, embarrassed.

"Big kids can be rough, huh? I know. The important thing is to not let them think that they're any better than you."

The boy's back remained turned to her. Kate pressed on.

"When I was very young, my mom used to tell me "Katie, If other children pick on you or tease you, you've just got to act like it doesn't bother you. You've got to stand up tall and laugh it off, don't let them feel like they hold any power over you."

Castle hobbled up behind Beckett and heard the tail end of her little speech to the boy. Awkwardly, he knelt down beside her. The two of them shared a glance.

"Hey, what's your name kiddo?" Castle reached out to touch the little boy's back who turned around to the two adults with a sniff.

"Blake", he told him.

"Well Blake, I used to get picked on all the time by big kids. Then you know what happened? I grew up and I became a famous author... apparently", he muttered the last bit for Beckett's benefit.

"And I started meeting a lot of really successful people, and they ALL got picked on when they were your age. So you know, I think if you start off being a little bit hassled, it makes you strong, makes you resilient."

"Makes me what?" The little boy asked him.

"It makes you able to deal with anything. It means that nobody messes with Blake", Castle told him with an authoritative voice.

Beckett smiled a soft smile at her partner's natural ability with children.

"Now you keep saying that to yourself and you go out there and show those big kids who's boss", Castle smiled gently and offered the boy his hand. On his knees, he was just as tall as the boy.

Blake sniffed and took Castle's hand, pulling himself up.

"Good man!" Castle patted the boy proudly on the back.

Beckett and Castle followed as the boy returned to the pitch and bravely asked the former batsman for the bat back.

The boy relented after a stare down from the little kid.

"Haha, that's it Blake, show him who the big kid really is", Castle clapped his hands together gleefully.

"Rick, how did you know about your friends all becoming successful as adults when you don't remember your own life as an adult?" Beckett asked him.

Castle looked at her sheepishly. "OK, so maybe I greased the kid a little, but it was done so with only the best of intentions."

Beckett nodded, trying to hide her smile, but it shone like the sun in the sky. "You know, you really have a way with kids", she told him, her entire face alight with happiness.

"Yeah, it's almost like I've raised one before", Castle told her with a sideways glance.

Beckett grinned slyly, looking back toward the game. "Maybe Alexis was right. Maybe you should think about giving her a sibling, after all she has been a terrific prototype."

Castle stared at her, slack-jawed. "Are-are you suggesting-?"

"It really is a beautiful day isn't it?" Beckett asked him, purposefully changing the subject.

He stared at her until she jumped up and down screaming with delight. "Rick, Rick look!"

Rick spun his head around in time to see a baseball whip over their heads and land on the other side of the park.

Little Blake ran the four bases, pumping his fist. He'd hit a home run.

"Oh yeah, way to go Blake!" Castle laughed. He wrapped his arm around Beckett. "Nice parenting there Kate. You sure you've never done it before?"

Beckett smirked with a shrug. "I'm a natural I guess."

"I'll say", he smiled back at her. "You want to go?" He asked.

She took a gander toward the group of boys and giggled as Blake reached the final base with a jump. She nodded to Castle. "Yeah, come on", she said.

Castle's arm remained draped over her shoulders. "Rick, your arm is kind of weighing me down here", Beckett told him.

"Oh yeah, I'm still a little unsteady on my feet I'm afraid", he groaned.

Beckett snorted. "Rick, you were just playing ball with a group of kids quarter your age."

Castle leaned over further, putting even more of his body weight on her. "Oh now I just feel like an old man."

Beckett squealed as she stumbled under his weight. She put an arm around his waist to help herself regain balance.

Castle grinned down at her. "OK, I guess I can cope with this arrangement."

And that's how they walked through the streets of New York City, arms around each other until they reached Castle's loft.

...

"Dad, Kate!" Alexis's excited voice greeted them as they entered the loft.

"Hey pumpkin, what are you doing home so early?" Castle asked her with a broad smile.

"I managed to convince Mr. Marks to let me go home early. I told him about you, and since he happens to be a big fan of yours and is a dad himself, he decided the two of us needed to spend some quality time together, getting to know one another again... so", she tootled over to the other side of the living room and knelt down behind the couch.

Castle chuckled. "Alexis, what are you-"

"Stop." She yelled out. "Don't come any closer. Unless you want to be vaporized I would stay back if I were you, chump", Alexis arose from behind the couch, adorned with a set of her and Castle's old laser tag glasses and guns.

"O-ho! Are those laser tag guns? We have laser tag?" Castle looked like a boy at Christmas.

Alexis nodded and then squealed as Castle attacked her and took her gun from her hands. "Well, pilgrim, I happen to be fastest gun in the west."

Alexis gasped in mock fear and then reached down beside her to pick up the other gun. "Unluckily for you, you taught me everything you know."

Beckett sat down at the breakfast bar and proceeded to enjoy watching father and daughter.

This afternoon at the park when she'd suggested to Castle that he consider giving Alexis a little brother or sister. His wild assumptions about what she meant by that, were correct. The idea involved only the people in this room.

Oh yes. Dr. Burke would be proud.

...

**A/N: By the way, have you seen the promo and pics for 4x14 "The Blue Butterfly?" Uh-mazing!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi folks, a bit of a shorter chapter today, and I apologize for the update being so late in the day! **

**Thanks for all the support, I've been stumbling a little bit with the plot, but I think I'm back on track now :-) **

**Please keep up the reading, and the reviews too, I so appreciate them all. **

**Enjoy!**

...

Over the next week, Beckett and Castle spent a lot of time together. Most of that time was spent either at the park, enjoying all that New York in the spring had to offer. On the rare occasion that they were at home, Castle would sit in his study and read all of his own books.

One day, Beckett brought her collection of Richard Castle novels to the loft and began re-reading them herself. At the cheeky look she received from Castle in doing this, she explained that she simply wanted to keep up with what he was doing in order to have something the pair of them could spend their days talking about.

But Castle knew that was just an excuse.

At the end of the week, Castle had his sling removed and was instructed by the physiotherapist to begin light exercise with his arm. Beckett suggested a nice friendly game of tennis, and so Alexis's old high school tennis court is where they found themselves on this particular Sunday afternoon.

"Kate, I told you not too high!" Castle complained after Beckett sent a tennis ball whizzing above his head.

"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to match your height", she said defensively.

"Yeah, my height. Not Kobe Bryant's height", he told her.

"Hey, nice pop culture reference, well done Mr. Rodgers", Beckett gave him a wink.

He shrugged "I heard a couple of kids talking about him in the park the other day, something about being a... something for taking out the Knicks the last year."

"A "something"?" Beckett raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah, um, I don't know some kind of a bag." Castle shook his head.

Beckett laughed. "A douchebag?"

Castle clicked his fingers. "That was it."

"I don't know I think you and Kobe wouldn't be too far apart in height. You're pretty tall you know."

"OK, so maybe I was just trying to make an excuse for my terrible tennis playing", Castle admitted.

Beckett gave him a warm smile. "Oh come on Rick, don't beat yourself up, you've got a busted shoulder that's all. I have to admit myself that I am at times a little too competitive, so I'll try to take it easier on you, OK?"

Castle rolled his eyes. "Oh no, I don't want you making any allowances for me. I'm bringing my A-game from now on."

Beckett chuckled. "Oh really? Are you sure you want me to awake my inner monster, because I'm warning you once it gets out, there's no caging it."

Castle laughed sarcastically at her. "Bring the heat, Nikki."

Beckett rolled her eyes and served the ball. This time Castle didn't flinch, he chased down the ball with surprising agility. Beckett was a stunned for a moment at his quickened reflexes.

"Wow, not bad Rodgers", she called out, slicing the ball back to him.

"Don't put me off with your sweet talk", Castle warned her, returning it again.

"If you didn't look so damn hot, I wouldn't have to try and focus on other things", she countered, while whacking it back into his side of the net", Castle fumbled at her words and the ball bounced away untouched by his racquet.

"And by hot, I mean sweaty and gross of course", she teased him.

He gave her the eye. "Yeah right."

She smiled slyly and nodded. "Get the ball, Castle."

"Don't call me Castle."

"Get the ball Rick."

Castle bowed as much as his weakened body would allow and went to pick up the ball. As he did, Beckett eyed his highly squeezable ass that she hadn't been able to stop thinking about since the shower incident.

"Get ready now Kate, you don't want a ball in your face do you?"

"What?" Beckett snapped back to the present situation. "Uh yes, no, what?" She spluttered, realizing his mind hadn't been in the same place hers had.

"May I serve you now?" Castle asked her coyly.

"Yeah", Beckett said with a furrowed brow, readying herself. She was obviously the one who was "hot" now.

Castle served the ball with a grunt and Beckett quickly came back to the game as she flew to the ball and returned it skillfully. Castle was surprised at her level of ability and as his competitiveness kicked in, he played a trick on her by top-spinning the ball into the forecourt on her side.

Beckett ran up to it, and hit it successfully over the net, then she had a trick of her own, she slammed it down hard into Castle's forecourt and stood watching as she anticipated it would bounce too high for Castle's reach.

But Richard Alexander Edgar Castle Rodgers wasn't one to give up evidently. He sprung into action and leapt for the ball, unfortunately, with Beckett's unassuming lack of movement and his own inability to stop, Castle went crashing into the net, and straight into his partner.

"Oomph", they collided with each other, each barely managing to hold the other up.

They began to laugh at one another's folly and soon the laughter hushed to a heated kind of wordlessness.

Beckett's eyes travelled over his face, and then to the tennis ball which just at that moment, took it's last hopeless bounce. She searched the soul in his eyes for a connection and murmured. "The ball's in your court, Rick." She swallowed, looking deep into him.

"I suppose it is", he barely whispered back.

Their hands still on each others elbows, they slowly pulled in to one another.

"Oy!" A gruff voice echoed across the court.

Their heads snapped apart as they turned to see a short, dumpy looking man wearing overalls and a golf cap on his head.

"What are you two doing in here?" The newcomer growled in a Brooklyn accent.

"Who are you?" Beckett asked the man, indignantly.

"Name's Larry, I'm the groundskeeper here. You two have permission to be using this facility?"

Castle held up his key to the tennis court. "I have a key", he told Larry.

"How did you come to acquire this key?" The groundskeeper asked Castle snippily.

"My daughter goes to the school. _And_ I donate large chunks of money to the school. Without my dough this court could not even have been built...apparently", Castle added the last word under his breath.

Larry gave him a strange look and then shook his head. "Your daughter, huh?...I'm going to need to see some I.D."

Beckett rolled her eyes and unclipped her badge from her belt. "Alright, Detective Beckett NYPD. That I.D good enough for you?"

Larry faltered for a moment but then straightened up his trousers and sniffed. "Well Detective, as I'm sure you know there are a lot of sickos out there. It's school policy to check out anyone and everyone who comes on to school premises."

Castle's scoffed. "It's a weekend, there aren't even any kids here."

"This is a fine, upstanding institution. We can't just let people walk in off the streets if you know what I'm saying", Larry eyed up Beckett as if cops were below his station.

"Hey!" Castle snapped. "Do you know who I am?"

"Well NOT Novak Djokovic", Larry said rolling his eyes,

Castle turned to Beckett, his brow furrowed. She shook her head.

"I am Richard Castle", he told him proudly.

"No kidding! Richard Castle, the famous writer?" Larry asked him, looking impressed.

"That's me", Castle beamed.

"Dad to Alexis right?"

"Aha", Castle nodded.

"Yeah, the girl who dropped out last week", Larry raised an eyebrow.

Castle's face dropped. "Um. She didn't drop out, she finished the year, all of her exams were already over."

"The point is, she's no longer a student at the school, which means that you are no longer a member of the PTA. So I'm going to need that key back now."

Castle narrowed his eyes. "What if I promised to maintain a relationship with the school that would be of benefit to you...Larry?"

Larry crossed his arms. "Keep talking."

"Brand new top of the line John Deere tractor with free oil changes and tune ups for a year", Castle proposed.

"Two years", Larry told him.

Castle shrugged. "Done."

Larry did an awkward little bow. "I'll let you two finish the rest of your match in peace then, Mr. Castle. Detective", he tipped his hat toward Beckett and walked off with a smarmy smile.

"Castle do you even know how much a brand new tractor costs?" Beckett asked him, concerned.

"Oh I don't need to worry about that", Castle laughed.

"Why?" Beckett asked with even more concern.

"I saw a second hand John Deere in the paper this morning. Going cheap. Nice condition too. I didn't even know what a John Deere tractor was until then", Castle chuckled.

"But you just promised him a brand new one", Beckett hissed.

Castle shrugged. "Well he doesn't need to know to the contrary does he?"

Beckett shook her head. "He's a groundskeeper, he'll know the difference."

Castle's smile slipped. "I'm going to have to buy him a brand new tractor? How much is one of those going to set me back?"

"Only a small down payment on a house. Chump change for you, Castle", Beckett smirked.

Castle looked deeply concerned now.

"Hey, nice abuse of power back there, by the way", she winked at him.

"Oh yeah", Castle smiled distractedly. "I'm kind of starting to like being Richard Castle."

"Hmm. And you haven't even seen the ferrari."

"Wait, I have a ferrari?"

...

When Castle and Beckett returned to the loft, Martha was home and she had a girlfriend from her acting class with her.

"Oh, hello dears!" Martha greeted them. "How was tennis? Who won?"

"Mother, we were just having a nice relaxing, non-competitive game", Castle explained to her.

"So...Kate." Martha said.

"Oh yeah, totally creamed him", Beckett smirked.

Martha winked at her. "Good girl."

Castle threw his hands up into the air. Beckett rubbed his back to let him know she was merely humoring his mother.

"Richard, this is Cecilia Pratt, she's a student."

"Hello Richard, how very nice to see you again", Cecilia smiled at him.

Castle took the woman by the hand and gave it a kiss. "Wish I could say the same but... charmed I'm sure", he smiled.

"And this is Kate, his partner", Martha introduced Beckett to Cecilia.

"Oh what a vision. Have you ever considered acting my dear?" The woman fawned over Beckett.

Beckett giggled. "Ah, no. I'm quite happy being a cop."

"Oh my goodness, well they do say all that running around is good for the skin, and you sure are a testament to that. Richard you're a lucky man to have a beauty like this", Cecilia winked at him.

"That I am, but ah, Kate and I are work partners not... life partners", Castle gave her a small smile.

"Oh, I see. And how nice that you encourage each other to keep fit by joining up for a spot of tennis."

"Well Kate's been living with us for the past week. Taking care of Richard since his little incident. She's really been a godsend", Martha told Cecilia.

"Yes, I'm sure", Cecilia eyed Beckett up discerningly.

Beckett's face fell. "Um, I'm going to go and take a shower." She left the others without another word.

By the time Beckett had finished showering, Cecilia had left.

"Where are Rick and Cecilia?" Beckett asked Martha who was making some sort of inedible looking smoothie.

"Oh, Cecilia left already darling. Richard is in his study reading again.."

"Oh that's OK, I'll let him have some alone time", Beckett smiled.

"I'm sorry about Cecilia. The woman is an addicted gossiper I'm afraid."

Beckett laughed. "Yeah, she'd do well as a detective."

"I mean it must seem strange to other people looking in on this little arrangement. You and Richard living together, but not together, together. Some people might find it hard to believe."

Beckett narrowed her eyes at Martha. She had a feeling that Cecilia wasn't the only one interested in a little bit of gossip.

"Now me of course, I know your history together. I know things aren't simple between the two of you. And I also know as his mother who he very kindly allows to live with him, it's really not my business who he is or is not being romantic with."

Beckett pursed her lips. "Well, that's a shame. As soon as something happens between us, you're the first person I would have liked to have been able to share it with."

Martha's disgusting looking smoothie spilled on the counter as she knocked it over accidently.

"Well, I-I mean I'm not entirely apposed to the idea", Martha chuckled.

Beckett smirked. "Glad to hear it. Not having a mom of my own to share it with is kind of disheartening at times, but you're the next best thing."

"Oh Kate, I'm touched, really", Martha gave her a watery smile.

"Speaking of your mother, are you planning to tell Richard anything about..."

"No." Beckett said simply.

Martha nodded, knowing enough to let it go. She rounded the counter and placed a gentle hand on Beckett's arm. "I think she would be very proud of you."

Beckett smiled as she watched the older woman scurry along to find something to clean up the mess she'd just made.

Beckett walked through the living room and knocked on the door of Castle's study.

"Come in if your a beautiful woman", he instructed her.

She shook her head with a laugh before entering. "Luckily, you live with three of them", she told him as she walked in and closed the door behind herself.

"Precisely", he smiled up from his copy of "Storm Warning."

"How was your shower?" He asked her.

"Amazing, as usual", she grinned. "I might have to get you to give me the number of the people that installed yours. Mine is decidedly lacking in shower power."

"You live here now. My shower _is_ your shower."

Beckett bit her lip. "Yeah but not forever right? I mean I have to go home at some point."

She felt her soft hand being taken into Castle's strong one. "But you are home, Kate."

She looked into his eyes and swallowed. "Come on Rick. When you asked me to stay you didn't mean...", she swallowed. "Always."

"Maybe not, I didn't know you then. But this is now, and I'm asking you Kate, stay with me...please?"

"Forever?" Beckett considered him meekly.

"And then some", he said, before standing suddenly and pulling her into him for a passionate, breath-taking kiss.

Beckett moaned as he deepened the kiss. Tingles ran up and down her spine as she relaxed into it and allowed his tongue entrance between her lips.

Tongues dueling, mouths uncontrolled and uncontrollable, the two of them were on fire together.

Castle lay her down gently on his study desk and then came to lie on top of her, feathering kisses up and down her neck.

Beckett's stomach churned over with desire when his knee came all too close to her most sensitive area, as he raised himself above her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Ah, shit!" He swore as he tried to pull her up against his own body, but his shoulder gave way.

"God, You OK?" Beckett asked him, reaching around him to massage his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Maybe the desk wasn't the best idea though", he groused.

Beckett laughed and soon he was laughing right along with her. He groaned and buried his head under her chin. "I'm sorry", he said.

"For what?" She asked him, panicking slightly.

"For not doing this right. You don't deserve this, you deserve to be wined and dined not wham bam thank you ma'am."

Beckett giggled against him. "What makes you think that's not exactly what I had in mind all along?"

Castle looked at her delighted. "Oh? In that case..." Beckett laughed into his mouth as he brought his lips to hers again.

"Hello darling!" The heard Martha's voice from the living room.

The pair pulled away from each other, sighing. "And that would be my daughter home."

"Mhm", Beckett nuzzled her nose against his. "Come on", she said, patting him on the thigh and shuffling out from underneath him.

Castle groaned and took her by the hand just before it turned the handle to his study door.

"Hey, this isn't over", he growled into her ear.

She bit her lip, smiling at him and gave him one quick peck on the lips. "I hope not."

...

Castle, Beckett, Alexis and Martha were seated in the living room, playing a game where each person had to name their favorite thing from the past twenty years; all of a pre-determined subject and all beginning with a certain letter.

Right now the category was music and the letter was B.

"Um... oh, got to be Bruno Mars", Alexis said.

"Uh, I don't know...Britney Spears?" Beckett bit her lip. Alexis and Martha laughed at her. She threw up her hands defensively. "She was really popular when I was a teenager!"

"Alright Mother, your turn", Castle told her.

"Oh, I'm so bad at this game! Alright, er... Billy Idol?"

"Ehhhh", Castle made a buzzer noise. "I knew that one already. Sorry mother."

"Oh, I give up, I'm no good at recalling information from the last twenty years. I've made a very concentrated effort to drink my way into enough oblivion that I could escape anything that happened after the age of... well, after a certain age."

Castle and Beckett laughed. Alexis put her hands on her hips and cleared her throat.

"Oh, except for all of my glorious days spent with you of course my darling", Martha palmed her granddaughter's cheek.

Alexis smiled at her grandmother lovingly.

With their eyes averted, Castle took the opportunity to let his hand graze Beckett's ribcage, just below her right breast.

She jumped at his touch and turned to scold him, but as he winked at her, she lost her nerve and instead, smiled.

Beckett's phone rang in her pocket. She rubbed her hand along Castle's arm and stood up to answer it. "Beckett", she spoke into it formally.

"Yo Beckett, it's Esposito", the latino detective spoke into the other end.

"Oh hey, how are you?" Beckett smiled into her phone at her friend's familiar voice.

"Yeah, um not bad... how's Castle?"

"He's...Castle", Beckett rolled her eyes, hoping her grin wouldn't be discernible through the phone.

"Is he there?" Esposito sounded anxious.

"Uh, yeah", Beckett shifted on her feet. "Shall I move away?" She asked him in a whisper.

"I think it might be for the best. And I think Castle may need to go somewhere else too."

Beckett stiffened. "Espo, what's this about?"

"Couple things. Can you come to the station?"

"Um, yeah sure", she said, her brow furrowing.

"Alright, get the Castle-Rodgers clan off to a hotel or something and then get down here OK?"

"O-OK", Beckett stammered. "Wait...Javier, please just tell me."

She heard Esposito inhale slowly on the other end. "Billy Magetti just escaped from Rikers."

Beckett's heart thumped wildly in her chest as her whole world slowly collapsed around her.

Esposito disconnected the call and Beckett turned to the smiling family, who were oblivious to the danger that surrounded their happy little existence.

"Rick", Beckett choked out, gaining his attention.

"Everything alright, my dear?" He gave her a predatory smile.

"No", she said quickly.

He stumbled back at her abrupt attitude. "Kate, what's wrong?"

"Rick, I need you to take Alexis and your mom and go check into a hotel, OK?"

Castle's face fell into a lull of concern. "Kate, what..."

"No questions, please Rick, please just do what I say. I'm a cop remember."

"And I thought I was your partner", Castle frowned at her.

Beckett shook her head. "Not on this one Castle."

"Kate, Dad, what's going on?" Alexis came over to them, looking worried.

"Alexis, I need you all to go to a hotel right now", Beckett said, looking gravelly at the teenager.

Evidently, Alexis was more well-versed in the dangers of their situation that Castle, because she simply gave Beckett a nod and took her dad by the shoulder. "Come on Dad, let's go."

Castle visibly fought with his internal conflicting emotions as his enquiring mind battled with his protection for Beckett and for his own family.

Finally, the look of steadfastness Beckett was giving him, persuaded him to go with the latter and he made quick work of getting his daughter and mother out the door with him in tow.

Before leaving, Castle glanced across the room at Beckett. She swallowed, trying to stay strong, to put on a brave front for him. No words were exchanged, only a dizzy, confused long look from him and a gaze filled with love and protection from her.

As he exited the loft, she made a silent promise to herself.

Billy Magetti would be dead by the end of the day.

...

**A/N: Ooh, drama! Even more dramatic and juicy are my plans for the next chapter so watch this space!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, sorry if this has a tonne of mistakes in it, I haven't had the chance to proofread it! **

**I just became a god-mother yesterday to a precious little boy of 8 lbs 5 ounces :-) {Very proud over here} **

**Enjoy the chapter!**

...

The elevator dinged, signifying it had reached the floor that the homicide division was situated on.

Beckett raced off the vestibule and into the dimly lit fray of the 12th.

"Yo Beckett! Over here", Esposito's clear, strong voice cut across the rest of the noise on the floor.

Beckett went to where her team was sitting; Esposito, Ryan and Captain Gates. The only one missing of course; was Castle.

"Alright guys, what's our plan?"

"Magetti was last seen officially by a security guard on the tower of Rikers, kicking stones in the yard; he was in chains."

"So somebody helped him escape again. But who? Lerlyn's dead, it wouldn't have been Straker, those two are sworn enemies", Beckett said.

"We're digging as deep into this guy's file as possible", Esposito told her.

"Problem is of course, with his three different identities, there are gaps in this guy's profile. Sometimes as much as two years at a time", Ryan said.

Beckett shook her head. "So what do we do?"

"We search into the areas of Magetti's life that are completely researchable. His time in Iraq, there will be records, journals from his commanders, from the camps. His early family life, which may be easier accessed through the history of his brother. I'm going to make a start on that. Esposito, you have experience in the military, I want you to make contact with anyone you can from Magetti's former unit", Gates instructed.

"Yes sir."

Gates nodded her head. "If anyone needs me, I'll be tracking down William Magetti's family. We already know he didn't start out like this. His brother was an upstanding civilian. These boys had a normal childhood at one stage. They had normal parents."

The three detectives nodded as Gates retreated to her office to begin making a host of phone calls.

"Beckett, there's something else I needed to talk to you about. It's got to do with Castle's amnesia", Esposito spoke in a low voice to Beckett.

"What do you mean?" Beckett asked him.

Esposito and Ryan shared a look. "We think we may have found out what the traumatic event was that Castle witnessed."

"You have? How?" Beckett asked them, amazed.

Ryan took in a shaky breath. "I don't know if you really want to revisit-"

"Ryan!" Beckett stomped her foot. "It's my partner's life at stake here. As cops we do anything for our partners, right?"

Ryan and Esposito both nodded agreeably.

"Come with us", Esposito said, looking around for anybody that might have been watching them in an investigative or disapproving way; namely Gates.

The boys led Beckett to their computer, and pulled her chair around to it, signaling for her to sit down in it.

"Now, I just want to explain, so you don't think I've been spending my time obsessing over this when you asked us all to drop it." Ryan told her.

Beckett sighed, desperate to get on with whatever the two detectives had to show her, but not wanting to rush them.

"I had a dream the other night, it was this constant image flashing over and over again. It was like I was standing in an alley way and I could see out on to the street. There was this car going past, a real nice '57 Caddy Deville, and there was a young couple in it."

Beckett nodded fervently in an attempt to hurry him up.

"Well I just couldn't get the image out of my head after I learned about Castle's memory loss. Finally, I realized where I'd seen the image."

Ryan paused for a moment, until Beckett glared at him. He clicked the mouse button, which opened a picture file.

Beckett squinted and then turned to Ryan and Esposito, looking cross. "These are the old crime scene photos from Bob Armand's murder. What the hell do these have to do with Castle?"

"Look closely... top right corner", Ryan told her somberly.

"Is that...?" Beckett could not believe it. He'd known all of these all these years and had never told her.

"Yes. That's a young Richard Rodgers, and by the looks of it, he's giving a statement to the arresting officer."

"John Raglan", Beckett choked.

Her first thought of was of complete betrayal. How in the hell could he have never told her? Why when they'd looked into Bob Armand's murder fifteen months ago had he never said a word about it?

Her second thought was that of disbelief, of total refusal to believe her partner would deceive her like this.

She thought back to the night they'd rescued Ryan and Esposito from torture, and sent Hal Lockwood to prison. The night of their first kiss.

Castle had pummeled Lockwood's face in when he'd knocked him down during Lockwood's attempt to shoot Beckett. Beckett had always thought Castle was trying to let go of whatever pent up aggression he had remaining inside of him after the pair of them had practically had each other for supper in that parking lot. But now she wondered if he'd been waiting to seek revenge on the man who'd committed a murder he'd witnessed nineteen years previously.

Beckett stood up from the desk, she urgently needed to work some things out, if only in her own mind.

"You OK, Beckett?" Ryan asked her warily.

"Yeah I-I just need to go and sort something out real quick. I'll be back soon, OK?"

Esposito and Ryan looked tentative. Esposito cleared his throat."Beckett, you'll take a uniform with you? Take him back to the hotel, go be with your boy, or not, it's up to you. Just try and get some sleep and come back in the morning with fresh eyes. You read me?"

Beckett nodded brokenly. "Yeah. Night."

...

"Dr. Turner! Dr. Turner..." Beckett ran the length of the triage, catching up to the neurologist just as he finished talking to a patient's family.

"Detective Beckett. Are you here with Mr. Castle? Is he alright?" The doctor asked her, sounding genuinely concerned.

"He's um... can we talk somewhere private?" Beckett asked him uncomfortably as an elderly couple sauntered past them.

"Yes, come with me", Dr. Turner led her down the corridor to his office. Closing the door behind them, Dr. Turner didn't even wait for Beckett to sit down.

"Tell me what's happened Detective", he said, now motioning for her to sit.

Beckett fidgeted a little while longer before taking the seat in front of his desk.

"Doctor Turner, what I'm about to tell you is confidential and I need your word that it will remain so."

"Confidentiality is a doctor's first law."

Beckett inhaled and nodded slowly. "My team recently discovered something while running an investigation on a... cold case. One of my fellow detectives noticed something obscure in a picture. We'd seen this picture before, just over a year ago, but obviously we hadn't taken it in with too much detail because when my colleague had another look at it, he noticed that Mr. Castle was standing in the background, talking to a cop, obviously as a witness."

"How did your colleague discover this? What made him look into it?" Dr. Turner asked Beckett, intrigued.

Beckett gave him a half-smile. "He dreamed it."

Interestingly, Dr. Turner nodded. "That makes sense. Inasmuch as dreams are linked to the subconscious, meaning that just like when put under hypnosis, people are able to recall or recount information our conscious brains have forgotten."

Beckett nodded in return. "So, the subconscious is a pretty powerful thing."

Dr. Turner smiled. "And now what you're wondering is if Mr. Castle was somehow able to consciously block out the events of that one day for the past twenty years."

Beckett swallowed and looked at him expectantly. "Well? I mean, I don't think he even told his mother."

The neurologist folded his hands on his desk in front of him. "Some doctors believe that there is a form of repression that folks are able to adapt called "motivated forgetting", where painful and disturbing memories are made unconscious and very difficult to retrieve, but still remain in storage. An example of repression would include a child who is abused by a parent, who later has no recollection of the events, but has trouble forming relationships."

Beckett contemplated this. "So if Castle were to have seen the murderer commit this god-awful crime twenty years ago, and was somehow able to repress the memory of it all this time, could his body react physically if he were to see the guy again, without the memory of the crime returning to him?"

Dr. Turner sighed. "Well, that I'm not exactly sure about. The human brain is such a fascinating subject and the reason it remains that way is mostly down to the fact that we have yet to discover all the elements of it."

"So what do I do?" Beckett asked him for guidance.

"Perhaps bring it up again, the murder, or something related to it", the doctor told her. "But exhibit extreme caution when broaching the subject. You remember what I told you about the dangers of his memory returning to him suddenly?" Dr. Turner shrugged.

Beckett nodded soberly.

"All just my personal opinion of course."

"And your professional opinion?" Beckett questioned the Doc further.

Dr. Turner raised his eyebrow at her. "You know the law, detective. Doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't extend to a murder investigation. So professionally I'm not saying anything", he gave her a reassuring smile.

Beckett smiled warmly back. "Doctor Turner, I really cannot thank you enough for your advice and your time ", she stood up and shook his hand.

"Well, if Mr. Castle ever gets his writing mojo back, putting the idea into his head of writing an intelligent, handsome doctor into one of his books wouldn't go amiss."

Beckett laughed, "I'm afraid Rick has had issues with handsome doctors in the past, and more than likely would not appreciate the suggestion, especially coming from me."

Dr. Turner grinned. "I see. Well perhaps a dedication?"

Beckett bowed her head. "I will definitely be putting in a good word for you."

"Take care Detective Beckett", the doctor told her in farewell.

"And you", Beckett smiled in return before leaving the hospital for what she could only hope would be the last time. Or at least the last time without the need for an epidural.

...

Alexis had called and left a message on Beckett's phone to tell her that her and her father had gone to the Hilton to stay, and that Martha had gone to stay with the friend Beckett had been introduced to at the loft, earlier.

Beckett wasn't entirely sure that she could face the Castle-Rodgers clan tonight. Even if Castle had remembered witnessing Bob Armand's murder and had neglected to tell her about it until the day he'd presented the information to her in her home fifteen months ago, after she'd nearly kicked him off the case; that still didn't mean that Rick Rodgers could now recall what had happened. Unless, of course, he was lying about the whole amnesia thing now...

No! No Kate, he wouldn't do that to you. Richard Castle is a good man, who has obviously witnessed something extremely traumatic, and has made a conscious decision not to face the memory of it.

Not unlike someone else, huh Kate?

Beckett shook her head, making her choice. She had to believe in her partner, she just had to. Castle had saved her life on numerous occasions, he was a courageous man, that she was sure of. But a twenty-one year old Richard Rodgers had not been trained to be so resilient to seeing death.

She would have to be brave enough now for the both of them.

Beckett asked the taxi driver to pull into the drop-off park outside the Hilton. She stepped out and sent a quick txt to Alexis to let her know she'd arrived.

"Room 1920. Come on up." The reply came to her phone within a minute.

Beckett made her way up to the 19th floor and walked to the door of room 1920. There she found the brave man in question, waiting for her.

"Kate, thank god, I've been worried sick!" He came to her and enveloped her in his strong arms. "You look tired, have you eaten? Come inside, I'll call room service." Castle fussed over the worn looking detective as he shuffled her inside the hotel room.

"No, I'm fine, not hungry. Just tired, OK? And I have to be up early in the morning to go into work so I just want to go to bed... get some sleep", Beckett made sure to be just affectionate enough to show she wasn't mad at him, but that she didn't intend to move their relationship forward tonight.

"OK, come on, let's go to bed", he told her with no pretense in his voice; for which Beckett was glad.

He led her to the master suite. "Where's Alexis?" Beckett asked him with a wary voice.

"She retired early, she knows she drill, we've been over this before apparently and she was actually the one instructing me: No cellphones, no communication with anyone. I don't know if she's over-dramatizing it or what..."

"No she was right to make that call... She's a good girl", Beckett's voice cracked.

Castle came to her, aiding Beckett to the bed, pulling the covers back on her side, allowing her to sit down. He knelt down in front of her and very gently pulled both of her high-heeled boots off her feet. He then returned to her side, sitting next to her on the bed and stroking her back gently with his rugged hand.

"I need to know something", Beckett said to Castle in a barely audible voice.

"Anything", he said, straightening up, moving his hand from her back, to the side of her face.

Beckett sighed and then turned to look into his eyes. "Did you want to kill Lockwood for what he did?"

Castle paused in his actions. He looked at her quizzically. "O-K, uh, firstly: Who or what is Lockwood? And secondly: I can't imagine myself killing anyone. I'm a kitten, just ask Meredith, it's actually her pet name for me; I wouldn't harm a mouse and frankly I'm distressed and confused as to why you would think that of me...why you would even ask that of me!" Castle stood up from the bed, clearly upset.

"Rick, please sit down. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", Beckett cried.

"What in the hell is going on Kate? What do you think I'm involved in?"

"Nothing, nothing Rick. Please don't worry, you're going to stress yourself out", Beckett pleaded with him and pulled him back down beside her.

He shook his head, rubbing his eyes where tears had started to form. Beckett touched him on the neck. "You're veins are popping."

"Beckett, what did I do in my life?"

Kate withdrew her hand from his neck. He'd called her Beckett. Which meant he was inexplicably mad at her.

"Castle, listen to me", she went in closer to him than even before. "What you did in your life was you made people happy. You gave them a high that was pure and natural and innocent. You wrote, and people immersed themselves into worlds that you created, characters you gave birth to. You saved people's lives." She took his face into her hands. "You saved my life before we even met."

"A week ago, you were a stranger to me, but I can't imagine my life without you", Castle told her softly.

Beckett and Castle's eyes scanned each other's faces. Beckett reminded herself that she'd made a promise to not lead him on, so she turned away from him.

But Castle had other ideas.

He pulled her flush to him and gave her surprised face another heated once-over, before bringing his lips slowly to hers. She resisted at first, refusing to open her mouth for him, but his hungry tongue running along her lips was irrefutable. She parted her lips slightly and he went for it. His tongue entered her mouth and intertwined with hers. Softly, they ran their hands through each other's soft hair. The kiss was slow, delicate and more romantic than passionate.

Beckett sighed into his mouth, before pulling away. "Rick this isn't right. It's not fair to you."

Castle chuckled softly. "Pulling away from me, that's the only thing that's unfair here", he said, trying to grab on to her again.

She pushed his hands back. "Rick, please", her eyes pooled with tears. "I want this so much, believe me when I tell you that. But there are a lot of things, too many things you don't know. I thought that by keeping them from you, I was doing both of us a favor in allowing a relationship to grow without complications, but beginning a relationship without first being completely honest with each other is a mistake."

"What things Kate? Just tell me, I'll understand, whatever they are we can deal with them together", Castle pleaded with her.

"No, no we can't I'm sorry. Please understand I'm trying to protect you", Beckett cried, standing up swiftly and speeding out of the hotel room.

"Protect me from what?" Castle called out to no avail.

...

It was eight am and Beckett sat at her desk, immersed in her computer screen. For much longer than she'd wish to admit, she'd been starring hopelessly at the picture of Castle and Raglan, deep in conversation, standing less than twenty feet from Armand's corpse.

Her cellphone rang on the desk beside her, bringing her out of her mindless lull. The caller I.D read "Alexis".

"Alexis, hey", she said, hoping the teen had slept through her argument with her father last night.

"Kate, where are you? You didn't come back last night after you and dad had that fight and I thought something might have happened to you", the girl's worried voice come over the line.

Beckett sighed and put her head in her hands. "I'm fine Alexis, I'm sorry for making you worry."

"Kate, you can't just take off without telling me, you know. You and I, we're family now."

Beckett closed her eyes. The girl was ripping her heart in two.

"I know pumpkin. Whatever your dad and I are going through, it doesn't mean we're mad at you and that we love you any less."

"Yeah, I've had this talk before. I had a mom and a step-mom before you came along, Kate."

"Yes, but I've never had a daughter", Beckett said, before the words had even translated into her own mind.

There was a silence on the other end and Becket wondered if she'd said the wrong thing.

"Alexis?"

Alexis sniffed. "Please just be careful Kate, I can't lose you."

"I'm going to see you at the hotel Alexis. Tonight, OK?"

"OK, well I'm turning off my phone for now. I'm about to go into a meeting and Mr. Marks has a strict, no phones on during meetings; policy."

Over in the doorway of Gates' office, the captain appeared, motioning for Beckett to come to her office.

"OK, I've got to go hunny. You take care of yourself, you hear me?"

"I will. Promise me you will too", the young redheaded demanded of Beckett.

Beckett wasn't sure if she could whole-heartedly make such a promise, as she knew that very soon she would be willingly chasing down a serial killer, and therefor risking her life. She could say one thing with complete commitment to the girl, however.

"I love you Alexis." Beckett hung up the phone quickly to avoid the awkward moment of non-reply she was sure would have followed her statement.

Beckett made her way over to Captain Gates' office and poked her head in the door. "You wanted to see me sir", she greeted the captain formally.

"Yes, I've just managed to track down Magetti's mother. His father died two years ago of liver cancer, but Mrs. Magetti is still very much alive and is living in Manhattan. Her son Carlton bought her a new condo of her own in the city after his father passed."

"Wow, he really was a good guy", Beckett noted.

"Yes, just a shame he was so easily played by his wife and brother", Gates agreed. "I've arranged a meeting with Mrs. Magetti at her home. I thought you'd appreciate running point."

Beckett's head shot up. "Me?"

Gates nodded. "I know you might feel a little incapacitated without your wingman glued to your side..."

Beckett allowed her a small smile. "Ah, I managed quite well without my "wingman" as you put him, for many years before he came in and turned this precinct on its head."

Gates nodded slowly. "Well, from what hear, managing is all you were doing."

Beckett acknowledged her with a coy glance.

"Just as long as your personal vendetta against Mr. Magetti is not going to get in the way of this, then I see no reason why New York's finest young female detective shouldn't be on this case. We most certainly need the best to catch this slimy bastard."

"With the things Magetti's done, I think you could talk to any cop and they would instantly have a personal vendetta against him."

Gates nodded again. "Go out and nail this son of a bitch", she handed Beckett the information she needed to track Magetti's mother down.

"With pleasure", Beckett told her seriously, before turning around to walk briskly out of Gates' office. Looking down at the information for Magetti's mother, Beckett nearly choked.

For there on the page was the information for one Cecilia Magetti, aged 68 living in Manhattan. Arrested for tax fraud in 2004. And the picture of the woman was identical to Martha's friend from the loft yesterday.

...

Alexis had warned Beckett that she was turning her phone off for her meeting with Mr. Marks and his associates. Beckett was proud of her girl's commitment to her job, but she could have strangled Mr. Marks for his damned rules at that moment.

"Alexis, call me as soon as you get this, it's an emergency", Beckett left a brief message on Alexis's phone, the fifth since she'd recognized the woman in the picture as the host of Martha's overnight sleepover.

Castle hadn't figured out cellphones yet, so his was going straight to voicemail like Alexis's. Beckett wasn't sure if Martha had a cellphone of her own, but she had never been given the actress's number in any case. She definitely thought Castle needed to invest in a cellphone for his mother after today though. If there was to _be_ another day for Martha after this one.

Beckett shook her head, not allowing herself to think like that.

Still, she couldn't shake away the feeling of dread as she realized that Magetti Jr. had somehow weaseled his way back into their lives. His mother posing as an actress; well she definitely was an actress, but obviously not one in need of lessons.

Flagged by Ryan, Esposito and three uniforms; the cop ran at lightning speed through the lobby of Cecilia Magetti's building. How would she ever face Castle if she'd let his mother be killed by somebody she should have been busy tracking.

She ran even faster.

Up the four flights of stairs that spiraled up to the floor that Cecilia Magetti's apartment was on. There she found that the door was ajar. Panic set in to Beckett's veins. Had Martha been taken? Could they possibly have used her in their human trafficking operation?

Beckett pushed the door open quietly and stepped into the room. Making her initial sweep inspection of it, she called "clear."

"Detective, in here!" One of the uniforms called from a room to the side.

Beckett bolted into the room and found Martha with her hands and feet bound with tape over her mouth, tied up to a radiator. And beside her...

"Castle?" Beckett stood in shock for a moment. Her partner was sitting beside his mother, also bound, but worse than that; he was bleeding from the sternum.

She knelt down quickly in front of him and gently peeled the tape from his mouth. He was panting "Rick, what are you doing here? What happened to you?" Beckett didn't know which question to ask first.

"Alexis left... gah", he winced in pain. "Some papers out in the lounge. D-documents of a case. As soon as I s-saw the name C-Cecilia, I couldn't help but w-worry, so I came h-"

"Shh", Beckett ran her hand through his hair. "It's OK. Don't try to talk. Just breathe."

"He shouldn't have come!" Martha wined next to him as she was set free of her ropes by the uniformed cop.

"H-had to. Knew you would... do something dramatic. It's j-j-just your nature..." Castle spluttered, there was more blood spilling from his torso.

"How far away are those medics?" Beckett yelled out.

"I don't think you'll be requiring their services for much longer, detective", a hard, cold voice sounded behind them.

Beckett stood up and instantly turned around, cocking her gun much quicker than the cop next to her. "Magetti", she snarled.

"I'm sorry detective, I just couldn't spend any more time in prison. And Rikers just wasn't living up to my standards."

"You're right, next time we'll just send you straight to the chair", Beckett threatened him.

Magetti laughed. "Wow. Two against one here, I really don't think it's a fair competition... for you I mean."

At the little look of contempt Beckett gave him, he laughed again.

"Hunny, I'm a trained sniper."

"Yeah, and you killed a lot of people. All that sentimental stuff in the precinct, those words of regret, it was all just a front so that we wouldn't put you in high security, and so you could run again."

Magetti shrugged. "I'm sorry... it's what I do." He looked anything but sorry. "People get in my way, I have to kill 'em. I don't know why so many people are just so determined to get in my way."

Beckett shook her head at him. "Nobody's in your way now Billy, because you've got nowhere to go."

Billy Magetti smiled a sick smile. "I beg to differ." He shrugged. "Fastest gun in New York city? It's not you, and it's definitely not you," he said, looking from Beckett to the rookie uniform.

He raised his gun shoulder-level and aimed at Beckett.

Bang! A shot was fired.

"Must be me then", Ryan said, standing over Magetti's wounded body, which had been shot in the same place the victim had just shot Castle in.

"Ryan!" Castle and Beckett said together.

"Rodgers, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Sorry Kevin, but you didn't ex-expect me to stay out of trouble for... too much longer did you?" Castle joked with him, breathlessly.

"Nice work there detective", Beckett said to her colleague with gratitude.

"Took a lot of resolve just to shoot him in the stomach. I guess this way we get to watch him suffer a little bit..." On the word "suffer", Ryan stood on Magetti's bullet wound and triumphantly watched as the former sniper writhed in agony. "And he can tell us where his mother is."

Beckett exhaled. "I would have gone for his head."

Her and Ryan shared a look of understanding.

Beckett returned to Castle's side and took over compressing the wound from Martha, who looked white.

"Martha, you OK?"

"No", the older woman admitted. "Cecilia seemed like such a dedicated actress", she shook her head.

"Well she did play us pretty well", Beckett told her with a half-smile.

Martha nodded with a weak chuckle.

"Officer Collins will take you to get a cup of tea. I'll look after him", she added at the hesitant look Martha shot toward her son.

Martha touched her on the arm with a smile and stood up with the aid of the young cop.

"Well, Rick." She looked down at her partner with devotion. "Even as an injured, semi-involved, not entirely impartial party... you help me apprehend suspects."

Rick wheezed with laughter before it became to painful.

She took his hand gently in hers and smiled down at him with devotion. "You really are the perfect partner."

...

Half an hour later, Castle and Magetti were in the E.R, only Magetti was in chains, in which he would remain for the rest of his days.

Beckett stood beside Castle's bedside as they wheeled him down into a triage room. She hadn't been able to tear herself away from his eyes since she had climbed into the back of the ambulance with him, yet again.

"We will have to keep you in overnight Mr. Castle, just for observation", an E.R doctor told him.

Castle groaned. "I think Rikers is sounding pretty good right now."

Beckett gave him a disapproving stare.

"Detective, you'll have to wait here I'm afraid. Mrs. Rodgers, you may come in if you wish", the young doctor said to Beckett and Martha, respectively.

"Doctor, my partner might need me to help her on a case. She's hopeless without me...", Castle said, referring to Beckett.

"Castle..." Beckett warned.

He grinned, as they wheeled him out of sight. "Don't call me Castle."

Beckett shook her head. He was right of course. Without him, she would be hopeless.

"Kate!"

Beckett spun around. "Alexis", her heart thumped.

Alexis ran up to her and hugged her tightly. "I got your message. Was that dad, is he alright? Is Gram alright?"

"They're both going to be fine Alexis. Your dad tried to play superhero and rescue your Grandmother from her friend Cecilia."

"What? Why would Gram need rescuing from her friend?"

Beckett put an arm around the girl's shoulder. "I think we need to be armed with doritos and chocolate for this discussion."

Alexis looked at her, confused but complied anyhow.

"By the way Kate", Alexis stopped mid-stride. "This morning you hung up before I could tell you what I wanted to say."

Beckett racked her brain trying to recall their conversation, so much had happened since that phone call.

"You didn't give me the chance to tell you that I love you too."

Beckett became teary-eyed as she looked down at the teenager who warmed her heart with every word they shared.

...


	13. Chapter 13

**OK, so this chapter is REALLY full on and packed with awesome stuff! Intrigue, heartache, humor and yes... some good ole fashion smut! **

**And as a special treat, I have a song video to accompany the lyrics to a song written especially for this story. Open the link and wait for the song further down the page before playing it :-) Go to youtube and type in: **/watch?v=85Eu9uGSEZQ**  
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**Of course I'd love a review, no matter if it's for the chapter or the song or both! **

**Enjoy!**

"I am so over this hospital!" Castle complained drowsily from his bed.

"I know, but the doctor said you can go home tomorrow... That is if you don't _stress_ so much", Beckett warned him, leaning into him with a smile.

"You think that nurse was serious about the straightjacket?" Castle asked her with partial concern.

Beckett laughed. "No, but I might be considering it if you pull anymore stunts like you did yesterday."

Castle shrugged. "I was looking out for my mother. Somebody had to do your job for you", he teased her.

Beckett made an indignant noise. "You have a bondage fetish or something?" She asked him.

She then blushed, realizing what she'd asked him. Castle eyed her up and down with a boyish grin. "Why Detective Beckett, are you enquiring for future reference?"

Beckett shook her head with a smirk.

"OK, Mr. Castle, it's time to re-dress your wound", A large, brutish looking, middle-aged female nurse entered the room.

Castle gasped and patted Beckett on the shoulder. "The dom returns", he whispered discretely to her. He smiled charmingly up at the nurse. "Lady Penelope, we meet again."

Nurse Penelope glared at him.

"Have you come back to make good on your promise with the straightjacket?" He eyed the overweight woman with his most smoldering look.

Nurse Penelope shook her head at him. "Oh Mr. Castle, I have plenty of punishments up my sleeve if you so wish... I can tear that dressing off of you as slowly and cruelly as possible."

Castle gulped. "Not exactly what I had in mind."

Beckett grinned at their unusual back and forth, she knew it was all a game the pair of them played to pass the drone of boredom that the hospital so expertly provided.

She stood and kissed Castle on the forehead. "I've got to get back to work. We still need to find Cecilia."

"Oh, when you see her... be sure to tell her this from me", Castle handed Beckett a note. Beckett read the quick sentiment and then looked at Castle with a mixture of forbidding and appreciation.

"I'll do that. And I'll have a few of my own choice words for her too", she told him with pursed lips.

He nodded. "Oh and Kate", Beckett turned around at the door to face him.

"I'll see you later?" He asked her cautiously.

Beckett's brow furrowed, she was confused as to why he would be asking her that; he'd just saved her ass, as routinely as he'd done over the past four years. Why would he think they weren't good, that they weren't perfect?

Oh, the fight the other night. The fight that now seemed like a lifetime ago.

Beckett smiled softly at him and she took a quick walk back to her partner's side.

Leaning down she held on to him by the shoulders until she felt his arms encase her. Her hand on his cheek to hold herself steady, she whispered into his ear. "I'll see you soon."

He released her and the two of them shared a tender look. He held her hand until she pulled back, unlacing their fingers as she stretched too far for him to reach.

That was her. Always_ just_ out of reach.

Beckett turned again and made a quick comment to the nurse before leaving. "Be gentle on him. He's too much of a kitten to even be a submissive."

The nurse gave her an amused look and nodded obediently before Beckett left.

...

"Hey Martha, how you holding up?" Beckett asked the redheaded woman who was being checked over by a doctor in a side consult room. "Oh, I'm just peachy", Martha tried to smile.

"Look out, your pants are on fire", Beckett nudged her lightly.

Martha sighed. "I just can't believe a student that I taught to act could pull the wool over my eyes so effortlessly."

Beckett looked at her reassuringly. "Well, she had the best teacher, she was always bound to become a terrific actress." Beckett smiled back gently and touched her on the back as the doctor walked out of the room.

Martha shook her head. "These damn doctors, they sure like to keep you guessing. Honestly! You wanna know anything about yourself it's better to whip out your mobile device and consult wikipedia."

Beckett laughed and stroked her back softly. "Oh, speaking of which", the detective fished in her coat pocket and pulled out a brand new cellphone. "For you", she said, handing the phone to Martha.

Martha stared at it like it was a chinese scripture. Lovely, but totally discernible.

"A cellphone?" Martha chuckled. "Oh Kate, it's such a thoughtful gesture. To be honest, I'm only just getting used to the fact that we can send an e-mail to someone thousands of miles away and they'll get it in seconds."

Beckett nodded. "I know, even I find it difficult to keep up. But it's for your safety. Rick and I want to know that you're alright. and we can track you on this "

Martha sighed. "I'd like to go back to days when people could go out without having to deadbolt their doors. Where parents could let their children walk ten blocks to the park without worrying about them."

Beckett nodded. "It sounds like a wonderful time, wish I could have seen it."

Martha smiled. "Oh, you should have been around in my day. The boys would have gone crazy over you!"

Beckett grinned shyly.

Martha closed her eyes. "I can just see you in a vinyl snakeskin sheath dress... oh! With the sleeveless bodice seamed above the bust and a metal zip up the back... ah the memories", Beckett chuckled as Martha got carried away on some far ago memory.

The doctor stepped back into the room. "Well Ms. Rodgers, it seems your x-rays are all clear and that the ligature marks on your wrists could do with a nice soak in some warm water, perhaps with some bath salts."

"Well, that sounds like a pretty good recovery plan to me!" Martha voiced, enthusiastically. "And one that I can do at home", she added, not really willing to start an argument with him.

The doctor gave her a knowing smile and nodded slightly. "I will arrange your discharge papers now."

Beckett and Martha gave a little cheer when the doctor left. "I'll wait for you, we'll share a cab home."

"Oh, Kate I really must go and see Richard before I leave. Poor lamb, he's been through so much."

Beckett bowed her head in shame. She knew Castle had been through all of this only because of his steadfast protection for her.

"Oh, not that I blame you of course Kate. Richard is big enough and ugly enough that he should be able to take care of himself... operative word being "should", Martha smirked.

Beckett slowly smiled again. There was at least something she could do to make it up to Castle and his family. She needed to apprehend Cecilia Magetti.

"Ok, tell you what. You go be with Rick, spend some time with him; I know he'd really like that."

Martha gleamed.

"I have to go take a little visit round in the ICU, and then go to the precinct for a little while."

"You going to rustle up Magetti?" Martha asked her tentatively.

Beckett nodded. "Something like that, yeah. So when I'm done at the 12th, I will come back here and we'll both go back to the hotel, OK?"

Martha held Beckett by her sleeve. "_You_ are the best thing that's ever happened to this family."

Beckett's breath caught in her throat. "Well, Martha. That's pretty high praise, because as far as I'm concerned, your family was already pretty wonderful."

Martha smiled at her with caring.

"And truthfully?" Beckett swallowed. "Your family was the best thing that ever happened to _me_." Beckett brushed a tear out of her eye. "And it's all down to one man." She laughed lightly. "One stubborn, cocky, cavalier..."

"Jejune..." Martha added for good measure.

"Exactly!" Beckett nodded.

The two women shared a look and both smiled widely. Beckett sighed. "And the man with all of those faults, all those flaws... he's the man I had to fall in love with."

Martha beamed widely and tried to resist jumping up and down screaming like a little girl.

Beckett laughed. "Maybe they aren't flaws at all. After all, it's those things that I can't resist about him."

"I know, I know", Martha leapt up from the hospital bed and crushed Beckett in a bear hug. "He's always been totally infuriating. But when he looks at you with those eyes..." She pulled away from Beckett to look in her eyes. "Don't leave any candy lying around, because he _will_ persuade you to let him have it."

Beckett laughed again. "Thanks for the advice but I think when we're together, the only candy he'll be interested in... will be me", she winked saucily at Martha.

Martha giggled gleefully. "Go pound your man to the floor, Kate, and then come back and bring your other man to his knees, just like you always do."

Beckett grinned slyly before moving out the door. "Or I could do it the other way around. They're interchangeable really."

...

Beckett walked with purpose to the ICU where Magetti, she had been told, was lying in chains, with a buff cop standing guard outside his door.

She approached the desk of the ICU ward, and spoke to the sharp looking receptionist. "Detective Beckett, I'm here for William Magetti."

The receptionist sorted through her files until she found the one she was looking for. "Ah, William Magetti has been taken to the temporary morgue... just down that corridor there", she said, indifferently.

Beckett's head snapped. "What? What the hell happened to him, he wasn't DOA, he was stable." The detective's pulse raised to about four times its usual rate.

The receptionist shrugged. "All they said is that the morphine machine must have tripped. One in a million accident. This hospital is in for a BIG lawsuit."

Beckett's mouth dropped, and she put her hand to her head. This was no accident, of that she was certain.

"From what I hear, the guy was a slimeball. Serial raper and killer? Creep. Reckon it's a good thing he's gone", the receptionist mused.

Beckett nodded dumbly, turning around to leave. "Yeah".

Except now the one person who gave her any hope of finding Cecilia Magetti, was dead. And so the woman was still out there, the woman who had tried to harm the family she loved.

...

"Alright guys, give me some good news", Beckett hollered across the precinct as she slumped into her chair at her desk.

Ryan and Esposito sat beside her in their respective chairs. "Well, we have news, not sure exactly if you would consider it good", Ryan spoke first.

Beckett sighed. "OK, hit me with it."

Esposito cleared his throat, looking down at a folder he held in his hands. "We finally managed to touch base with Arnold Straker's unit in Iraq... The general's gone A-wall", Esposito slammed down the file onto Beckett's desk angrily.

Beckett's eyes widened. "He's here. In New York, and he tried to kill Billy Magetti today."

"Yeah, that was our first thought when you told us about Magetti. No way the guy died by accident. Lanie's confirming now", Esposito told her.

"OK", Beckett nodded weakly.

"Hey, Kate", Ryan spoke to her gently as he knelt beside her. "Today has been a long day. I think you should go home and try and relax a bit."

Beckett chuckled bitterly, leaning her elbow on the desk and resting her head in her hand. Where was home? She had a place of her own of course. It had been right when she was looking for a new apartment after hers had been gutted by fire after the explosion two years previously. Then of course, there was Castle's place, where she had been living like a part of the furniture for the last two weeks, but that was out of the question when it was a marked location, known to the suspect they were currently pursuing. And then there was the hotel where she had promised Martha she would stay with her tonight.

But going back to the Hilton didn't make much sense, it was Beckett's suggestion that they go there, but it was only Castle's ego that had kept them in the over-priced four star complex.

She would go back to the place she owned. But not the home she had.

...

Beckett went to the hospital and picked up Martha at the door. She'd called her on her new phone to let her know she would be waiting outside. Beckett had started to feel almost institutionalized in Mount Sinai, a feeling she'd once known well.

Beckett had also called Alexis to let her know that they were going back to her apartment. Alexis had sounded relieved, expressing her joy at being able to sleep in a familiar bed. That had made Beckett light up like the sun, the fact that Alexis considered her place "familiar".

As the cab pulled up to the apartment, with Martha and Beckett inside, Beckett looked up and decided something. As soon as Cecilia Magetti was in custody, she would be putting this place on the market and then she would become a permanent fixture at Chez Castle.

Martha and Beckett took the elevator up to Beckett's floor and as Beckett turned the key to the apartment, she heard laughter inside. Alexis's laughter to be precise.

Beckett and Martha entered the small apartment and found Alexis sitting on the arm of Beckett's couch, the telephone pressed to her ear, a wide smile on her face.

Alexis's face lit up further at the sight of the two women. "Oh, Dad, Kate and Gram are home. You want to talk t-... Oh well you better not get caught, or they won't give you any drugs", Alexis giggled. "Love you too. Until tomorrow Dad."

"How is he, darling?" Martha asked her granddaughter.

Alexis laughed. "He's fine. He was just complaining about the itchy blankets. I guess that's the problem with having a dad who knows who he is..."

Beckett chuckled. "Would you rather the alternative again?"

"No, but forty-one year old dad is a little less high-maintenence than this dude. They're both goofy and fun though. In fact, if I met a twenty-one year old like him today, I think I'd probably ask him out", Alexis said, grimacing. "That's a little weird isn't it?"

Beckett smiled "They do say most girls are attracted to guys who remind them of the father."

Alexis smirked. "Yeah dad's a little like Jim I guess."

Beckett's eyes widened. "Uh, OK. Where did that come from?"

Alexis yawned. "I'm kinda tired. I think I might go to bed", she said, ignoring Beckett's question.

"Alexis!" Beckett called out warningly.

"Night Kate", came her jovial reply.

Beckett shook her head. A moment later, Martha was at her side. "Someone needs a drink... and some girl talk." A glass of red wine was thrust in front of Beckett's face. She took it and clinked it against Martha's with a coy smile that kept growing.

Martha laughed, and winked at Beckett. "Cheers, kiddo."

...

Beckett was woken the next morning by her cellphone trilling beside her.

She groaned and rolled over in her bed. "Thanks for the hangover Martha", she grumbled into the empty room.

She waved her arm about haphazardly, trying to blindly grasp her phone which was sitting in its usual night time place on her bedside table. Finally she found the mobile device and picked it up sloppily.

She spoke into it with a grainy voice. "Beckett."

"Good morning Kate!"

Beckett squinted at the enthusiastic tone that greeted her. "Ca-Rick?"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm talking on this mobile telephone thing. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Ah, yeah. Um, won't you get it trouble for that? I thought phones weren't allowed in that part of the hospital."

"Hey Kate, I want you to do something for me."

Beckett inhaled. "Anything."

On the other end, Castle smiled. "Go to the loft."

Beckett sat up in bed, her head spinning. "Are you having a breakdown?" She asked him, deeply worried.

His reply was a laugh. "I don't think so. Quite the opposite actually. More like a stroke of genius."

Beckett blinked, her jaw slack. "Are you sure it's not just a stroke?"

Another laugh, damn him.

"Why in the world would I risk my safety, my life, by walking right into the crosshairs so conveniently set up by a mad woman?"

Castle spoke quietly and sincerely to her. "I can assure you Kate, nobody is here and I don't think anybody will be disturbing us here. Not for the rest of the day at least. There's just something peaceful about this place today", he said dreamily.

"Castle!" Beckett jumped out of bed and raced to get dressed.

Martha, who was asleep in the living room, woke drowsily as Beckett grabbed her keys quickly off the counter. "Kate, what's the matter, darling?" She asked dopily.

"Oh nothing, your son is just going to get himself killed is all!" Beckett replied, running out the door, letting it slam behind her.

Martha sighed. "Oh, that's nice dear." And she promptly fell back to sleep.

...

"Rick! Rick, where are you?"

"I'm right here, Kate", Castle answered from the piano seat, startling her by how close he was.

"What in the hell are you doing here? Do you have a death wish, like seriously?" She peppered him with questions, her voice rising and rising.

Castle sat quite calm, a strange little smile on his face. "I had to return home, just for a little while. So I left the hospital to come-"

"You discharged yourself?" Beckett yelled.

"Yes, look just hear me out, I had a very good reason", Castle told her simply.

Beckett laughed sarcastically. "I can't wait to hear this", she collapsed on his couch, exasperated.

Castle held out his hands. "Ready? OK", he rubbed his hands together. "So I woke up this morning and I suddenly had the urge to make music. I started running over scales and chords and triads in my mind and all of a sudden, I realized I could play the piano." He grinned, clapping his hands.

Beckett sat up straighter on the couch. "Really? I-I never knew that. I always thought this piano was just for show like most rich guys have in their houses."

Castle nodded "Yeah, that's what I thought too. Which kind of made me dislike myself."

Beckett raised an eyebrow. "So great Rick, you can play the piano, fantastic. Can we leave now?" She asked impatiently.

"Patience, my dear lady, is a virtue", he smiled that consistent smile at her that made both her fists clench and her heart melt. "I became inspired to write. Not a novel as I thought would be the first thing to come to me; but a song."

Beckett tilted her head to the side. "A song?"

Castle's eyes sparkled as he swiveled in his seat and placed his hands on the keys. He began to play a soft tune. "A love song", he said earnestly, before he began to sing.

_The eye can see _

_The soul can feel _

_The mind will heal_

_Just has mine has learned to heal _

_The times may change _

_And times do change_

_The stars may tumble from the sky _

_And I'll know why _

_When she goes by _

_A world without her _

_I cannot contemplate _

_Do my eyes glimpse _

_A faint detection? _

_A beautiful reflection? _

_A vision of Miss Kate _

Beckett shifted in her chair, his plain but insightful words that expressed the way he felt for her, the way she moved him, all after only two weeks of knowing her... This was love, and she knew it.

_The night may come _

_The dark may fall _

_The winds may sweep the land _

_And steal all that I recall _

_But I won't fear_

_And I won't quake _

_For somewhere out there in the mist _

_Somewhere she exists_

_I'll take her hand _

_And we'll escape _

_And if she's the end _

_I cannot stand the wait _

_Do my eyes glimpse_

_A faint detection? _

_A beautiful reflection? _

_A vision of Miss Kate _

_Miss Kate _

_Always - _Wait!How did he know?

_Always - _How could he possibly know?

_Miss Kate_ - How was he connecting to her soul this way?

_Oh Kate! - _However, he was doing it, it was the most romantic thing she'd ever witnessed.

He stopped playing and turned to look at her soberly. He reached out to take her hands in his own, she offered them gladly.

"I have a confession to make", he whispered to her softly, as he wiped a tear from her face.

"Mm?" She barely whimpered.

"I wrote that song for you."

Beckett laughed, and she cried. She brought her hand to his cheek and stroked it gently with her thumb. "I know."

She bit her lip and shook her head. "I know, I know, I kn..." Her lips met with his in a search for something she did _not_ know but was desperate to learn.

It was time to test the edge of their passion.

His hand slid from her face, around to the back of her neck, pulling her closer into him. Her tongue grazed his lips, pleading entry, which he granted in an instant.

As soon as their tongues collided, their bodies went to autopilot. Neither was capable of rational thought any longer, both were musical instruments, happy to be expertly played by each other.

And luckily, both of them knew this song.

Tongues swirling, hands roaming, Beckett came to sit on his lap. Pushing him back to get better access to his sweet mouth, his body played the sweetest discord as his back came into contact with the keys.

He groaned as her hips pressed against his, trapping him slightly between the cold varnished wood of the piano and the sweet heat of her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his waist, as if things weren't heating up quick enough.

Finally, he broke the kiss, hissing when she gyrated slightly against him. "I'm thinking this could get tricky pretty fast", he breathed raggedly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her forehead to rest against his. "You're right." She pulled away from him and he almost mistook the serious look on her face for regret. Until she raised a seductive eyebrow and purred at him. "Lead the way."

Despite the busted shoulder, the flesh wound in his stomach and the general unsteadiness Castle still felt on his feet; he picked his beautiful partner up in his arms and carried her swiftly to his bedroom.

Laying her down on the bed, he let out a small yelp as she pulled him down on top of her instantly. He attacked her mouth with vigor again. Sliding his tongue in and out of her mouth. He began trailing a line of kisses around her chin and ears. And then suddenly, he pulled away. "Wait. Isn't this exactly the kind of danger you were hoping to avoid?"

Beckett eyed his mouth, her gaze unrelenting. "I think the risk makes it all the more exciting. Don't you?"

Castle's eyes widened. "Oh, Detective..." He launched himself on her, assaulting her neck, sucking and bitting a line of love bites along her pulse point.

Something stirred deep inside of him as her guttural moan reverberated against his mouth. He choked and pulled away to catch his breath.

Beckett took the opportunity to carefully turn him over and place herself on top of him. At the surprised expression on his face and the grunt that came out of his mouth, Beckett ceased in her actions for a moment. "Are you OK?" She asked him with concern.

Castle smiled. "Who me? Oh I am so much better than OK."

At the look of hesitance still painted on her face, Castle tilted his head forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Stop thinking with this. And go with this..." he kissed his own fingers and brought them to the place where her heart was.

Beckett smirked. "That's not where I'm thinking and you know it", she told him hotly.

He laughed and then brought his hand to the back of her head again, pushing her lips down on his once more. The kiss deepened and it wasn't long before Beckett was removing his clothes in a balanced dialogue between her hands and mouth.

Slowly, she pulled his shirt up his smooth torso and over his shoulders and head, careful not to put any of her weight on top of the area she'd just uncovered.

Then, she eased herself to a sitting position, where she removed her own shirt. His hands held fast to her sides as she tossed the item of clothing away to join his. Eyes transfixed to her, she removed her bra. So transfixed with desire was Castle, that he didn't even notice she scars on her otherwise impeccable body.

Castle could feel himself tightening quickly in his pants. He panted and licked his lips in anticipation as Beckett brought her hand to his zipper and began to undo him, physically and psychologically.

Beneath her he squirmed impatiently, which meant he was met with a look of warning from her. He stilled his hips and tried not to rock them against her as she pulled his pants down painfully slow over the inflamed area.

He let out a groan of hunger and lust, and she appreciated it.

Once again, she backed off him, crawling away in a cat like motion to the end of the bed, where she stood and began removing her own pants for him, in a wicked striptease. Her breasts bounced together in a hypnotic way as she danced sexily for him.

"Kate, don't tease an old man. Seriously, this can't be good for my health", Castle pleaded with her.

With one last wicked smile, she rid herself of her jeans and kicked them to the floor.

Castle's breath caught in his throat as she slid her two hands over herself and brought them to rest just inside of her panty-line.

"I am not feeling much motivation to last here", Castle warned her.

"Oh Rick", Beckett cooed as in one swift motion, she pulled her underwear down to her ankles and discarded of them too.

Then she lowered herself back down to him and brought their bare chests together. "That's OK, I know I've had you hard for the last two weeks, but trying being wet for four years", she licked his earlobe and he bucked himself delightfully against her.

"Try going twenty", he growled.

She bit her lip to contain her amusement at his eagerness. "What do you want, Castle?"

"Want... you. Don't call me Castle", he added on a practical sigh.

She licked her way down his neck and chest, blazing a hot fiery trail down until she reached his sternum, and then, before he could blink, her hands were inside his underwear.

He yelled out in blissful agony as she stroked him with her hot little hand. He felt impressive and Beckett herself had trouble keeping focus. "P-Please Kate. I need you", Castle wined. His pleas were all it took for Beckett to lose what remained of her self-control. Before he could conceive rational thought, she had his underwear off of him, and then they were naked together.

"You want this?" Beckett tested him and herself, as she deliberately wrapped her legs around one of his and pulsated against his calf.

Castle whimpered loudly. "Beckett", he gritted his teeth.

She wasn't prepared for how turned on hearing him swear her last name would make her and she fought mentally to not collapse around his leg right then and there.

"Are you ready?" She asked him, over-zealous to be filled by him.

His eyes snapped on hers. "Are you crazy?"

"Of course, crazy people have the best sex", she blew into his ear as her hand positioned him for entry.

The two of them swore together as he crashed through wall after wall, awakening the ghost of ecstasy.

"Oh God, Castle!" Beckett screamed out. Needless to say, Castle refrained from correcting her this time.

"I don't think I'm going to last long, Kate", Castle told her apologetically.

A flurry of curse words broke past both their lips as Beckett rode Castle in one continuous rocking motion.

"Me either - oh god, so close. I'm so close, Rick!" Beckett screamed, grabbing onto his hand and squeezing it for dear life.

"Fuck, Kate!" Castle exploded with her in an abrupt flourish to end their not-so delicate dance.

Beads of sweat dripped down their faces, which mingled together when Beckett brought her lips down, sucking sloppily on his, drinking in as much of him as possible. She pulled away, gasping for air and rolled off him.

"I'm sorry, I guess you lose control so much easier when you're older", Castle apologized.

"Are you kidding? That was incredible", Beckett unfolded the blankets from underneath them and then threw them back on top of themselves. She returned to his side and brought her chin to rest atop his chest which was beginning to rise and fall in a steadier rhythm now.

"Tell me something", Castle requested of her.

"If I can re-assemble the pieces of my mind you just blew, then sure", Beckett replied.

Castle shifted slowly so that they were facing each other. "Am I to believe that after four years with you, we have never once thought about doing that?"

Beckett stroked his arm lightly with her hand. "Oh we've thought about it plenty. Trouble with thoughts is of course that if they're not voiced, that's all they ever remain."

Castle smiled down at her gently. She brought her hand up to caress his face, which turned then turned serious. "Tell me one more thing".

"Mhm", she relaxed into him, sighing contently.

"Am I also to believe that after four years of us being together, that I have never once told you just how much I love you?"

Beckett froze against him. She swallowed quietly. "Actually... no. You told me you loved me a year ago."

Castle's brow furrowed. "But you didn't-"

All of a sudden, a image flashed before him. Kate was bleeding beneath him and he was whispering to her. _"Kate...I love you, I love you Kate." _

Castle sucked in a sharp breath of air as the painful memory left him back in the present. His ears were buzzing and he felt dizzy and sick.

He threw the blankets off himself and made his way to the bathroom. "Rick, I-I'm sorry, so many things were... I was with another guy then and... Rick, wait a second!" Beckett pleaded with him, mistaking his sudden flashback for anger at her for not reciprocating his love for her.

Which, of course, she now returned wholeheartedly.

She sighed but decided that perhaps she should give him a moment, and allow herself the opportunity to script her sentiment to him. She did have four years of material to chose from, after all.

Burying her head in the nearest pillow, she was suddenly roused by a loud crash from the bathroom.

Panic set into her veins, making her heart thump wildly in her chest. Her worst fear had come true, she was sure of it. She felt so foolish, realizing how stupid she'd been to tell him about his confession of love for her, never imagining that his memory would return to him with just a few words. Her head caved in as she raced towards Castle's bathroom and crashed through the door.

Indeed, she found him lying in a crumbled heap on the cold bathroom floor. Castle had "turned inward." "Rick!" Beckett dropped to her knees beside him and lifted his head to her knee. Pulling out her cellphone in an emergent frenzy, her hands shook. "Hold on Rick, just stay with me." She dialed 911 and waited for it to connect.

In that instant, Beckett felt a sharp pain in the side of her jugular.

"911 emergency, how may I direct your call?"

Beckett never replied. The last thing she saw was a walrus-like face, dressed with a thick mustache, laughing cruelly above her.

...

**A/N: Dun, dun, dun...**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry this update took a while folks! So this one is another big guy, just as insane in length as the previous one, and even more insane in its content :D Thanks so much for the reviews and subs again, they all mean the world.  
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**Enjoy!**

...

Beckett woke up feeling wet. No, not that kind of wet...

She was sitting with her legs straight out in front of herself, leaning back against what felt like a cold metal wall.

She tried to lift her legs in her hazy awakening stupor, and found that it was difficult. She figured the drugs she knew she'd been given must have had some affect on her movement and were taking their time wearing off.

She panicked as she tried to open her eyes and found that they just wouldn't let any light in. She lifted her hand to her face to feel for a blindfold or some other eye-covering device, but felt only skin-to-skin contact.

Her body finally allowed her to roll her hips to the side, and she heard a small slap as the leg of her jeans, hit the other leg; she could feel that she was covered with water, from her feet and backside, up to her hipline. That's why it was difficult to move, she now realized.

Her breathing became rapid. Where the hell was she? A sewer? At the bottom of a water tank?

A swashing of water sounded somewhere near her and her head snapped around, trying in vain, to see what had made the noise.

"Who's there?" She breathed, hating how unarmed she felt.

"Kate?" She heard a broken croak near her.

"Rick?" She sighed back, it sounded like she was questioning that it was his presence she shared, but that silvery tone could only belong to one man.

"Are you OK?" He asked her softly.

"I'm alright. Can you make out anything around you?" She asked him with hope in her voice.

There was a silence before Castle muttered. "No."

Beckett sighed as another little balloon of hope flew away from her.

"What is this place?" Castle asked with a stronger voice that reverberated off the walls.

"Somewhere beneath ground it would appear, I can't see a single glint of light anywhere", Beckett squinted, looking left around for any signs of the outside world seeping in to their little... whatever it was they were in.

"Ugh, gross. It feels like I've wet myself", Castle said with distain evident in his voice.

"You haven't wet yourself Rick, we're sitting in a pool of water of some kind... I can feel it getting higher", Beckett told him, concerned.

"Oh shit!" Castle swore out suddenly.

"What?" Beckett yelped back in fright.

"My dressings, my wounds. This water could be septic and it's going to seep right through."

Beckett swallowed. "You're right, that is a problem...Hold on, I'm going to move around a little bit and try and figure out where in the hell we are."

"W-Be careful, there could be creatures of a...disgusting variety in here" Castle warned her.

Beckett moved cautiously around their enclosure. "It's not big, about my body length across, there are corners, so it's must be some kind of box."

"No need to recite "Ding Dong Dell, Kitty's in the Well", then", Castle deadpanned.

Beckett banged on the bit of wall she was leaning up against. "Feels like sheet metal, only it doesn't sound that hollow when I bang on it", Beckett said.

Castle squealed.

"What was that?" Beckett squealed herself, as she felt something graze her leg.

"Oh, it's you", Castle put out a hand and found her wading about very close to him.

Beckett's heart calmed for a moment, until she shifted around to his other side and was treated to a torrent of water gushing forcefully down onto her head.

"Oh!" She gasped in surprise and moved away from it quickly. "Rick, this thing is filling up fast, we've got to find a way out of here."

"I don't know if I can stand, the scar tissue around the wound is damn painful, must have been knocked when that son of a bitch threw me on the floor."

"Well I'll just have to carry you out then", Beckett told him, feeling around in the dark for any means of escape.

"It's Straker isn't it?" Castle asked her, his voice dripping with distaste.

"Yeah, I saw him before I passed out. He must have used a quick-acting sedative", Beckett suggested.

"As a general in Iraq, he probably would have had access to supplies of morphine and stuff for when his soldiers were wounded."

"Well let's just hope the families of the women he raped find him and make him suffer as equally as those girls did", Beckett said with a sneer. "Ouch!"

"What's wrong?" Castle asked her with a raised pitch of voice.

"I just banged my head, I'm OK. This is a_ small _box Rick. A really small box."

"How long do you think it's gonna take to fill up?" Castle asked meekly, not sure if he was prepared for the answer.

There was a pause, during which, Beckett let her emotions get the best of her and balled up her fists, punching the ceiling of their little cage. She took control of her breathing before saying,"Let's not wait and find out, OK?"

Castle nodded mutely before he realized Beckett could not see him. "OK."

...

Meanwhile, at Beckett's apartment, Alexis was interrogating her grandmother. "Gram, what did Kate mean about Dad getting himself killed?" The girl asked in a panic.

"Darling, I'm sure Kate was joking, we'll call the hospital and ask them what's going on." She grabbed the young girl by the shoulders. "Just remember, he's in the best place possible."

The phone rang and was picked up by a bored sounding receptionist. "Ward 5, you're speaking with Trish."

"Hello, yes this is Martha Rodgers, my son Richard Rodgers is in your ward. I just wanted to check in, see that he's behaving", Martha chuckled into the phone.

"Mr. Rodgers checked himself out this morning", Trish told her uncaringly.

"What?" Martha was stunned and infuriated.

Instant dread ran from Alexis's toes right up to her brain. "Gram, what's wrong?"

Martha placed a hand on the teenager's upper arm, trying to convey reassurance. "Well, do you know where he went?" Martha asked Trish.

"He just said he was sick of being treated like a wounded puppy and he was going home."

Martha closed her eyes. "The hotel. Alright well thank you", She disconnected the call. " "For absolutely nothing", she added after the call had ended.

"Why would Kate say Dad was going to get himself killed, though?" Alexis asked.

Martha raised her eyebrows "Well, even for your father, discharging himself from medical care in his condition is pretty darn foolish."

Alexis shook her head and pulled out her cellphone. "What are you doing now?" Martha asked her granddaughter.

"Calling Kate", Alexis told her simply. The young redhead dialed the number and was greeted instantly by Beckett's voicemail.

"Strange", Alexis's brow furrowed, "She only turns her phone off when she's pursuing a suspect." Then she turned red. "Oh. You don't think Kate and Dad are?..." Her lip curled as her grandmother raised her eyebrows again in consideration.

"Well darling, the two of them have been dancing around the idea for...some time now", Martha tilted her head.

Alexis grimaced "I love Kate, I really do but that's..." She shivered. "OK, new thought. I heard that fight the other night, Kate told Dad that they couldn't be a couple until he knew everything about himself and about her. She said she needed there to be total honesty between them."

Martha nodded slowly. "She wanted your father to figure out that he loved her, rather than telling him herself...Of course none of this explains where they are now, the two of them."

Alexis chewed on her bottom lip. "You don't think they would have been dumb enough to go back to the loft do you?"

Martha narrowed her eyes, thinking. Then shook the idea from her head, quickly. "Oh no, Kate never would have encouraged that."

Alexis frowned. "What if Dad went there without her permission?"

Martha sighed. "Unfortunately, that does sound like something he would do... OK kiddo, grab what you need, we're going over there."

"Gram, let me go, you stay here in case they come back", Alexis said, trying to cover her complete fear for not only her own life but for her grandmother's as well.

Martha smiled sadly. "Hunny, where you go, I go. We're kin, me and you, joined at the hip. And that's the way it should be. Anybody wants to get to you, they gotta go through me. Kapeesh?"

Alexis smiled and hugged the older of the two redheads. "You're the best grandparent in the world."

Martha chuckled. "Remind me of that more often if you could."

Alexis moved back from her and patted her on the shoulders. "I'll remind you every second... Starting from after we find Mom and Dad", Alexis said seriously, moving toward the door of Beckett's apartment.

Martha was rooted to the spot, staring at her granddaughter, a large grin on her face.

The teen still hadn't realized what she'd said.

"Gram, come on if you're coming!" Alexis hurried her grandmother.

Martha jogged to meet the younger of the two redheads at the door, while thinking to herself. "Yeah, we'd better not leave your folks waiting."

...

"The water's g-getting higher", Castle choked, as the waterline rose over his navel.

"Rick, you're shaking", Kate crossed the chasm of water between them and came to his side. She ran a hand across his cheek, it was cold and clammy from sweat. "You've got a temperature, this water must be infecting your wounds already."

"Yeah, that, plus I left too early for med-rounds this morning", Castle admitted.

Beckett gave him a stern look. "Rick! When's the last time you had antibiotics?"

"Dinner time, last night", Castle said bashfully.

Beckett sighed. "You complete idiot, Richard Alexander Edgar Castle Rodgers."

Realizing he couldn't see the hint of playfulness that was running across her face, she leaned forward into him so that their noses touched. "How did I get stuck with you?"

Castle chuckled once. "I don't recall. But I do know that you _are _stuck with me_. _Because I'm not going anywhere without you."

Beckett and Castle's breath mingled briefly when Beckett said softly. "Neither am I."

The two of them stayed that way for a moment, enjoying the warm feeling of each other, despite the low temperature of the water beneath them. Beckett hesitated for a moment with her mouth, letting it open and close tentatively against his. That is until he lurched forward suddenly to claim her lips with his own, his tongue quickly finding a comfortable resting place, with hers.

Beckett sighed, which, despite the cold; made Castle's lower belly, ache with hot desire.

She brought her soaked sleeves around his neck, he let out a little shriek of surprise as the cool water trickled down the back of his neck.

They parted and Beckett giggled. "What in the hell are we getting ourselves into?"

"It's the "can't keep our hands off of each other" period", Castle _helpfully_ explained.

"Yeah, I think I figured that out myself, considering I just want to lap you up like a bottle of Bo James' best", Beckett was glad for one thing; he couldn't see how much she was blushing. "But it's not going to help us get out of here", she sighed into his neck, pecking it once.

Castle raised a cocky eyebrow. "I don't know, I thought our passion might just blow the lid off this box."

"OK, maybe just five minutes", Beckett said quickly, finding his mouth with her forefinger and going for it again.

Castle moaned into her mouth. "Please, Kate, a little credit", he told her mouth.

Beckett giggled as she sucked on his sweet lips that talked too much.

So much for five minutes; their impromptu make-out session lasted no longer than five seconds as suddenly, their dank space was flooded with a harsh white light.

Both leapt back with a scream, covering their eyes, to protect them from the sudden starkness.

"Yeah, that's right, you folks cover your eyes. Wouldn't want you to go blind now."

The two of them finally looked up and saw through a small window, the brutish looking face of Arnold Straker, staring through at them with beady eyes and a sick little smile.

"No, I want the two of you to have the opportunity to see the life drain out of your lover's faces." He moved in closer, blocking out any of the other light from the room. "See the little veins pop in each other's eyes. Watch your bodies go limp and die with the knowledge that you were too slow to save them", Straker's unusually cruel and ruthless voice intruded on their former thoughts of happiness, of joy and contentedness of at least, facing death with the one they loved.

Now as they were treated to Straker's damaging words, they realized the point was that they were in fact, facing death, and that death was imminent.

"Anyone you want to call?" Straker asked them with a sneer. He held up both Castle and Beckett's cellphones in his hand. Moving back from the tiny window, he threw the phones against the wall, overlooking as they shattered to pieces against the stone. "You'll have to call 'em from the pearly gates."

Beckett took the opportunity to gaze around. They were in what looked like, some kind of training base. Their were ropes hanging from ceiling to floor and climbing walls at the far end of the room. With a quick flick of her eyes, Beckett could make out a woman, standing at the edge of the room, holding a gun, her gun, and keeping watch for intruders. The woman was Cecilia Magetti.

"What do you want with us?" Beckett snarled through the thick sheet of glass.

Straker leaned back to admire the box in which Castle and Beckett were currently enclosed. "This little doozie here is what we in the armed forces call the "Interrogation Chamber." Mostly it's used for when those slippery, slimy little compadres of ours from the middle-east, require a certain form of...encouragement", he finished with a toothy grin.

Castle gulped. Beckett swished forward in the pool of water, bringing her face right up to the glass. "So, returning to my original question. What do you want with _us_?" Beckett asked with warranted attitude.

"Well, as fun as being on the run is, Cess and I are getting, well, you know, a little advanced in years to be carrying on this way." He put on a false air of mercy. "But bless, Cecilia, she's just been an absolute pillar of support for her poor, misunderstood son Billy...Which is why nobody would ever expect that his doting mother would ever become partners with his sworn enemy and conspire to take all his _extremely_ hard-earned cash", the sick grin returned.

"This guy's going to kill me with frustration", Castle muttered under his breath. He raised his voice, loud enough to startle Straker for a moment. "Answer her fucking question! Why us?"

Beckett lay a hand on his stomach, to somehow try and protect the wound that was no doubt, already infected. She knew that when infections got into the blood stream, it could cause massive damage to brain function, particularly, self-control and reasoning.

Straker cleared his throat, clearly not liking losing his reign of control, even for a moment. "Elimination. I can't risk you two running off at the mouth about us, about all this. Cecilia's a big fan of your work Mr. Castle, I've seen what you write. If this young lady here is half as sharp as your Nikki Heat, then I knew it wouldn't take too long for y'all to catch on to what we were doing.."

"But why even bother coming to New York? Why go to the hospital? That was the biggest tip off of all", Beckett shook her head at him.

Straker sniffed. "Because in the army, we have a code of honor. The general's hold the highest authority in that code." He pointed a sausage-like finger at Beckett. "Nobody rats on a General."

"You know the others will be coming for you. Even if you kill us, our team _will_ find you, they're the best", Castle called out with a strained voice. Beckett's heart swelled with pride in her team, she knew it was true.

Straker chortled. "You two are the immediate danger. Once we get rid of y'all, we'll be in a plane to Kiev. Cecilia and I are getting married in one of those beautiful Russian churches, and then we were thinking we might just go down to the docks and adopt ourselves a couple o' nice, innocent church-going teenage girls."

Beckett knew at that moment, she had to get out. The result of her ability to escape was not just assuring her own safety, but the safety of those poor teenage girls.

Castle was having similar thoughts. He thought of Alexis and how if anybody ever touched her, he would snap their necks like a twig in his hands. He realized now that when he had thought of his compromised luck, sharing his moment of mortality with his lover, he had been dis-including the other loves of his life. His daughter, his mother, and the guys at the 12th who he had such faith in.

"Cecilia ain't never had a daughter. And I wants to get her one that's good and wholesome."

"You don't deserve a heckled-down street-whore, Straker. Only kind of sex you're entitled to is lucifer sticking his red hot iron pitchfork up your fat ass."

Beckett's mouth dropped at Castle's sudden bravado. However, foolish it may have been.

Straker nodded his head, seemingly in approval. "You have got some balls, son. Could've used you in my unit on heckling night, my god."

Straker reached a hand above himself and gave Castle and Beckett one last depraving smile. "Shame you're gonna be dead soon... real shame."

And the door over the window, slammed in front of Beckett's face, the darkness consuming them once more.

...

"OK, so the bed's messed up, that can only mean one thing", Alexis rolled her eyes, re-joining Martha in the living room of the loft.

Martha had her hand to her heart. "Oh Richard, you big softy", she sighed.

"What is it?" Alexis asked her.

Martha picked up the pages of music that were sitting on the piano. "It would seem I succeeded in raising a romantic."

Alexis read the words of the song with a smile. "I have to say, that's pretty adorable."

Still holding on to the music, Alexis threw her hands into the air. "So, they're not here. Now what?"

Martha waved her hand. "Oh, darling it's called after-glow." Alexis took a step back from her, chagrined. "Gram..."

Martha shrugged. "Oh, it's all a part of young love. I'm sure they're just out, enjoying eating breakfast at Tiffany's or something as equally corny and stereotypical."

At that moment, Alexis's phone rang. "It's the precinct...Hello?

"Hey yo Alexis, it's Detective Esposito here."

"Oh hi, um, are you looking for Detective Beckett?"

"As a matter of fact I am. You know where she is?"

Alexis sighed. "Her and my dad, they're nowhere to be found. I tried both their cells and received no answer."

"Yeah, I did too, and it is extremely odd to call Kate Beckett at any time of day, and have it go straight to voicemail. Even when she was with Demming and Josh, she kept her phone on... which at times was awkward... Wait, when did your dad get discharged?" Esposito asked the teen, confused.

Alexis shifted on the spot. "He discharged himself this morning... Detective, I know this sounds sappy and everything but, you don't think Kate and Dad are just so in love that they've decided to abandon the world for each other, even just for a couple of hours?"

"Naw, come on girl. For a start, I know for a fact that they're insane about each other."

Alexis smiled discretely, Espo couldn't see, but her grandmother could.

"And even though Beckett is so nuts for your dad, that girl never quits on a job. And she had a case going this morning that she normally would have been here for a couple of hours ago."

Alexis's brow furrowed, she was beginning to really worry now.

"And also. Your dad? There's no way he'd ever abandon you, not even for a moment."

Alexis nodded for nobody's benefit in particular. "Thank you... but what are we going to do about finding them?"

"Here's what I want you to do. Are you with Mrs. R?"

"Yeah, Gram's here."

Martha's face lit up at the mention of her name and she seemed to straighten herself up in preparation for action.

"OK, and you're at Beckett's?"

"Uh, no we're at our place", Alexis said softly.

"What?" Esposito yelled into the phone. "Damn, girl, first thing you need to do is to high-tail it out of there! That place is a no-go zone until we catch Cecilia Magetti."

Alexis gaped wordlessly, trying to find the words to explain. "We came here looking for Dad and Kate and..."

"Are you two ladies on the hustle yet? I do not hear tails wagging..." Esposito gave them the hurry-up.

"Right, yeah... Gram, we have to go now, Detective Esposito's orders."

"Right!" Martha nodded, seemingly ready for a bit of dramatic flair.

The two redheads left the apartment and raced to the elevator which took them down to the lobby. "So what are we supposed to do from here?" Alexis asked Esposito in a hurry.

"I want you to go somewhere safe, a hotel... anywhere", Esposito told her.

Just then, the doorman of their apartment came running toward Alexis. "Miss Castle!"

"Ivan, I'm sorry, we haven't got time, we've got to-"

"Is it your dad? How is he? When he came through this morning, I got real worried."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Alexis drew the phone away from her ear, so as to hear him better.

"Your dad came through in a wheelchair this morning, looked like he'd passed out or something."

Alexis's heart fell in her chest as her worst fear played out in her mind. Her father had fallen into a catatonic state. "Was Kate with him?"

"Detective Beckett? No, it was a man pushing him."

"A man?" Esposito, Martha and Alexis all questioned him at the same time.

"Yeah, and he had a woman with him, older broad, guy said they were his aunt and uncle, and boy was the suitcase she was carrying, heavy. Offered to help her with it, but she pushed me out of the way. I could see she was struggling under the weight of it though."

Lights went off in everybody's heads. "Did you get that?" Alexis asked Esposito, who was already telling Ryan to make calls to their swat team.

"Yeah, sounds like Straker and Magetti have been in on this together all along..."

...

The water had reached Castle's chin, in his seated position, and he was tilting his head back as far as it would go, to keep it above water.

Beckett was worried beyond compare. "Rick, I know it's hard but you've got to try and stand up."

"I don't think I-"

"Rick, please!" Beckett felt uncontrolled tears rolling down her face. "I can't watch you die."

Castle's face contorted in a concentrated effort as he lifted his hand to grab onto hers. She sobbed with relief, grabbing tight to his arm, she pulled him up out of the water.

Castle let out a scream of anguish as his wound became decompressed and it felt like his sternum was on fire, being stabbed with needles and being put through a vice, all at the same instant.

He coughed as Beckett leaned him up in a slightly hunched position beside herself. "OK, that's the hard part over", Beckett told him.

Castle coughed again, trying to lift his head, but it just kept hitting the ceiling of their cage. "Yeah, cos fighting for our lives is going to be the easy bit."

"Yeah." Beckett looked into his eyes, trying to hold on to that glimmer of humor he still had. But even if it had been there as he'd voiced that sentence, it had already dissipated.

She could feel Castle shaking beside her. She took his arm and carefully wrapped it around her shoulders. "I know I've always made you a little weak in the knees Rick, but this is ridiculous", she chuckled.

The shaking continued and then she realized, it wasn't the fever, or the withdrawal, it wasn't his unsteadiness on his feet even. He was shaking because his body was being wracked with uncontrollable sobs.

Beckett swallowed, bringing her hand back to press against his stomach. "Rick", she cried.

He continued to weep. "K-Kate."

Beckett stroked soft circles on his back, trying to calm him.

"I'm sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry."

Beckett blinked. What could _he_ be sorry for?

"For what, Rick? She asked him with reluctance in her voice.

"F-f-for n-not being s-strong for you. N-not being strong enough. I-I'm s-supposed to be th-th-the strong one here..."

"Oh Rick, I know you were brought up in a household with just a single mom and I appreciate that you would have felt the need to protect her. But listen to me, I have been taking care of myself for a long time, OK? As strong as Martha is, I think for her it's just a point of pride. But me? I haven't had a choice. I've just had to be."

Castle shuddered. "K-Kate. These past two w-weeks have been... the best of m-my life."

Beckett laughed internally. She had four years of her best with him to chose from, but she had never felt so at home in the last fifteen years than she had done, wiling away the last fourteen days with Castle in his loft. "Me too", she whispered into his shoulder.

The hardest thing for Beckett was not being able to take him into her arms and hold him closer to her than humanely possible.

"I have to, to tell you s-something Kate. S-s-something I hinted at earlier, b-but never really...properly told you", Castle murmured to her in the dark.

Beckett closed her eyes. It was as inevitable as their approaching peril seemed to be. He'd known these feelings for her for two weeks. She'd known them for a year. She thought back to that moment when he'd told her, where somewhere between the total joy of his sentiment reaching her ears and her loss of consciousness, she had wished she could have reciprocated his words. Because she reciprocated the feelings.

"Kate I-"

"I love you, Rick", she blurted out. Feeling the innate need to make up for over a year of lost time, she kept repeating it. "I love you so much. I love you Rick, I love you!" She lost a bit of her common-sense as she lunged on him, attacking him greedily with her mouth.

"I-oh god, I love you too", Castle squeaked, between passionate smooches.

Their tears and the moisture from their wet kisses became confused as they were soon kissing every part of each other that was exposed.

In that moment, Beckett realized the sanctity of making love. She realized that her and her private writer had been doing it for four years. It was a connecting of souls, whether physical or spiritual. Without that all-important connection, it was just sex.

And this, this was love.

...

Ivan, Castle's friendly doorman had seen a yellow taxi pick up "Uncle Arnold" and "Aunt Cecilia", along with Castle, at the entrance to the building. Although Ivan did not hear the address, Esposito was able to contact the taxi company's call centre and through the wonders of modern technology, it had only taken thirty seconds for the operator to find the destination that the cab had been sent to.

A large member of SWAT team members had been called out, and within twenty minutes, they were on the outskirts of town, at the old army base where Straker had received his stripes, many moons ago.

Inside that building, inside a little cube, filled nearly to the brim, Castle and Beckett were saying their last goodbyes to each other.

Heads pressed together so close, they could have been one face, Castle and Beckett both sniffed wordless tears as they prepared to take their final breath, together.

Beckett's hands caressed her lover's face. "This is it, Rick. This is where we say goodbye."

Castle sucked in a giant lungful of air, after whispering to the love of his life. "I'll love you forever."

"Always", Beckett said in return, taking in her last gasp.

Esposito, Ryan and ten SWAT team members entered the building and instantly began shouting at Straker and Magetti to get down on the ground.

Castle and Beckett's eyes both widened as they heard the voices of their teammates.

Straker held the balance of their friends' lives in his hands. But it was Cecilia who held the gun.

Ryan spoke with calm authority. "Come on Cecilia, you don't want to do this. Billy was a bad kid, his mistakes weren't your burden to shoulder, he was his own failure."

Cecilia Magetti cried, the gun shook dangerously in her inexperienced hand.

Esposito spoke next. "Put the gun down, Ma'am. You come with us freely, now and we can get you out on probation. Two counts of aggravated kidnapping, that's nothing. But you see, we're all cops here, you kill any of us, and you'll be looking at hell of a long stretch. Do you want to die in Prison, Mrs. Magetti?"

Cecilia Magetti sobbed as she dropped the gun to the ground. "No." She raised her hands into the air in surrender as Ryan took her by the shoulder and slapped the cuffs on her wrists.

"Cecilia, what are you doing?" Straker yelled at her as two members of the SWAT team dove on him, tackling him to the ground. Esposito came up behind them. "Where are Castle and Beckett?" Esposito shouted into his ear, twisting the general's wrists in a death grip. "I will break your wrists man, I swear to God."

"They're in the box", Cecilia hollered out, still weeping.

"Cecilia, you stupid bi-" Esposito smacked Straker's head into the hard floor, knocking him out.

"Ryan, guys, help me", Esposito called over to his partner and a few of the armed cops.

"How the hell do you open this thing?" Ryan asked him.

"I've seen one of these, going way back into my army days. There should be little shelf that slides out about half way up." Esposito explained.

The latino detective found the latch he'd been searching desperately for and pulled out the sturdy metal ledge.

Castle and Beckett, still clinging on to each other, flailing about in the water, willing themselves and each other to hold on, got an extra boost of determination as they heard Ryan and Esposito's voices so close to them.

"Keys, where are god-damned the keys?" Esposito cried out in desperation, as he stood on top of the little ledge and felt on top of the box, where the lock was dead-bolted.

"Suitcase!" Cecilia cried out. "Oh god, please save them", she sobbed.

A SWAT guy threw Esposito the keys and he fumbled with the lock for a few seconds.

On the inside of the chamber, Castle and Beckett were milliseconds from giving in to the sweet oblivion of death. Their hands that had held so steadfast to each other, fell limp and dropped from one another's shirts.

Esposito turned the key and threw open the hatch of the small chamber, just as Beckett lost consciousness. Water overflowed the chamber, almost knocking the Detective off his perch.

Using his last ounce of resolve, Castle pushed Beckett out ahead of him, he rose up, gasping for air. "Help her", he yelled out, as Esposito lifted her light weight out of the chamber, and passed her gently down to the awaiting group of SWAT members.

Castle extended his hand up to Esposito, who pulled him out next. "I have to help, I won't let her die, I can't", he coughed as he jumped down ungracefully from the top of the chamber and rushed to Beckett's side.

Castle began performing CPR on his partner. Losing hope with each pump of her chest, each kiss of life he gave her.

He himself was becoming exhausted. He pulled away, feeling light-headed when what seemed like a million images entered his mind at once. Women, birthdays, book-signings, marriages, the birth of Alexis... He put a hand to his head and squeezed his eyes shut tight. Warning the images that now was not the time. Pleading with them to come back later. He had a partner to save.

Beckett coughed and spluttered and soon was turned onto her side by Esposito, who was muttering soft words of comfort to her, not noticing that Castle had paused in his actions, and was now sitting back, his head bowed, trying to shut out any sound that was inside of his own brain.

"That's it girl, come on now, can you sit up? There you go", Esposito smiled at his fellow detective.

"Welcome back Beckett, that was a close one, you had us going there for a while", Ryan panted in the direction of his female colleague.

"Yeah, I think I had myself going, by the looks of it", Beckett said warily, being aided to a sitting position by Esposito.

She looked around dizzily. "Where's-?" She found him, sitting a few feet away from her. Her face lit up with so many feelings for him. Gratitude, respect, trust, and of course, love.

She waited for his response, waited for him to be at her side again, whispering sweet nothings into her hair. Planting a series of sweet and tender kisses over her face. But none of that ever happened.

"Rick?" She only noticed that something was terribly, terribly wrong when his eyes rolled back in their sockets and he collapsed back against the cold floor, whispering a single word. "Beckett..."

**A/N: Hmm... To be concluded in the next chapter!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi everyone, so this is the last chapter for "The Past Starts Tomorrow". It's actually been harder and more emotional to write than I thought it would be. I think it's because I started the story with ideas but no real solid storyline so I myself didn't know the ending until I conjured it up this morning. I do actually wish myself that it didn't have to end, but my rehearsals for "Chicago" are winding up now and I'm finding less and less time to write fanfics :-( Don't worry though, this is not the last you'll hear of me, I still have these dreams and crazy little thoughts once in a while, so look out for some more fics in the next little while. **

**Thank you again, all you amazing bunch that have subscribed to this and fav'd and everything, you are all superstars for life! **

**I hope you enjoy the conclusion to what has been a pretty intense story :-) **

**Peace and love, **

**Renee.**

**...**

For the second time in two days, Castle was raced to Mount Sinai hospital in the back of an ambulance, flashing amber lights and blasting sirens of warning that told everybody else on the streets to get out of the way.

"Come on Rick, I need you, please don't leave me, not now", Beckett was pleading with his unconscious body.

They'd put a vacuum dressing on his wound, which was one of the most gruesome things Beckett had ever witnessed; and she'd witnessed a lot of gruesome things.

The vac was sucking out an endless stream of gunk from Castle's wound, supposedly ridding the infection from it. Beckett could only watch from a short distance away as her lover fought for his life.

Despite the stubborn, unaccommodating New York drivers of the mid-afternoon traffic, the ambulance arrived at the hospital in good time.

"Straight through to theatre one", one of the six surgeons that greeted them at the E.R, ordered. Thankfully, Dr. Davidson was not among them.

"Ma'am, this is as far as you can go", one of them told her.

Beckett kicked the floor as he rushed away, trailing the cart that carried the love of her life. She put her head in her hands and hiccuped as sobs took over her. Her head was still spinning from being unconscious herself a few minutes ago. For a moment, she considered pretending to faint, just so she could get nearer to the action, but she thought better of it. If Castle woke up, she didn't want to cause him unnecessary concern - _When _he woke up.

So instead she found a chair close by and sat down, wrapping her arms around herself. Her arms weren't the ones she craved though, the ones she needed at that moment. She needed arms that were dependable, strong and loving. She needed Rick.

That wasn't possible at this particular moment, so she called upon the next best thing.

Alexis's phone rang only once before being picked up by the girl. "Kate! Thank God", she cried out in relief.

"Hi pumpkin", Beckett choked out.

Alexis's deep and concentrated breathing could be heard over the line. "Kate, what's wrong?" She asked, trying to prepare herself for the worst.

Beckett closed her eyes briefly, willing her voice not to give out on her. "I'm at the hospital...Your dad's been taken into theatre. He passed out, we're not sure why. Um, Straker he uh, he tried to kill us, very nearly succeeded too. Only he didn't count on your Dad being so stubborn", Beckett tried to laugh.

She heard Alexis sniff.

Beckett shook her head. "He saved my life...again. He really has got to stop trying to do that."

"I used to agree with that Kate, but not anymore. I understand why Dad has to keep saving you. You saved him the day you met him, you became a part of him. So now, if you die, a big hunk of him dies with you."

Beckett pursed her lips, trying to hold back a sob.

"And with me too", Alexis told her on a whimper.

That was it, Beckett lost it right then. "I love you Alexis", she sobbed into the phone.

The teenagers heart lit up. "Tell you what. How about you and Dad just don't put yourselves in life-threatning situations anymore?"

Beckett chuckled through her haze of tears. "Sounds like a plan to me."

"Me and Gram will be there soon", Alexis told her.

"You know what, he could be in theatre for a while, there's no point us just sitting around here in this depressing place. The doctors have our numbers, and I have something we can do to occupy ourselves", Beckett said.

There was a small silence on the other end as Alexis waited for Beckett to elaborate. "What is that?" She asked finally.

Beckett smiled softy. "Just a little job that I need your help with. Meet me at my apartment in half an hour, OK?"

...

Beckett met Alexis and Martha at her apartment thirty minutes later, as agreed. The women shared a sort of group hug. "So what's this job you want us to do?" Alexis asked her. She normally had complete faith in the detective, but in this instant she wondered if Beckett was either trying to distract or humor her, or if the woman had actually just lost the plot.

"Come in and see... mind all the boxes", Beckett warned with a sly smile.

"Kate...are you moving?" Alexis asked with with a picture forming in her head. A picture she hoped was correct.

"Yes, which is why I needed your help. Just a few quick questions: How big is your dad's bookcase, which of these books does he have already, and which of these paintings do you think would look best hanging up in the loft?"

Alexis jumped with a yelp and rushed over to Beckett, enveloping her in a bone-crushing embrace.

Beckett beamed as she reciprocated the hug. "Yay Kate, you're already part of the family, but this just cements it", Alexis told her happily. "Ooh and we can have mojito nights when I'm twenty-one."

Beckett looked at her sternly. "Ah, no kid of mine is going to be taught to drink me under the table."

Alexis laughed and nudged Beckett in the ribs. "You're so lucky that you got stuck with a step-daughter like me then."

Martha interjected. "What's with this "step" stuff, you two are clearly mother and daughter now, look at you."

Beckett looked at Alexis seriously. "Legally, I could apply for adoption."

"Even though my biological mom is still alive?" Alexis asked, sounding excited but slightly pessimistic.

Beckett nodded. "Do you... want to be my daughter?"

Alexis gave her a sideways smile. "I am already. You're all the things to me that a mom should be. I trust you and I depend on you and I love you", Alexis told her sincerely.

Beckett gave her a watery smile before wrapping her arms around the girl again. "I love you too, sweetheart."

Over in the corner of the room, Martha began bawling. "Well, you've turned the waterworks on. Turns out I'm a sap for happy endings", Martha shrugged.

"It won't be a happy ending until we get our boy home", Beckett reminded Martha with a half smile.

Alexis inhaled slowly. "It'll be different until then, and it'll be hard, and if it should happen that he doesn't come home at all then we won't ever get over it", Alexis looked at Beckett, re-voicing the words the detective had said to her when she asked her about Beckett's mother's death two weeks ago.

"But it won't be unhappy... because we'll have each other. And somehow we'll get through."

Beckett nodded softly before grabbing the girl for yet another hug. "Yes we will."

...

The ladies spent the next couple of hours sorting through Beckett's belongings, deciding which ones she should sell and which ones she should take with her to her new home. To their home.

Beckett and Alexis were sitting on the floor in Beckett's bedroom, occupied by different tasks.

"Ooh, cute dress", Alexis said, holding up a strapless printed chiffon prom dress.

"You wanna borrow?" Beckett asked.

"Oh my gosh, you would actually let me wear this? I just realized how awesome having a mom who's the same size as me is going to be", she rushed over and kissed Beckett on the cheek. "Thank you, can I try it on?" She asked, excitedly.

Beckett giggled. "Of course you can, go ahead."

Alexis skipped out of the room, happily.

Behind her, Martha's voice sounded all of a sudden. "She's going to break your heart, you know."

Beckett's smile fell. "What do you mean?"

"You love her and when you love people, your heart is theirs to break. One day, she's going to leave us all behind to find her own life. She'll have a family of her own and we'll become a distant memory."

Beckett frowned. "That's not what happened to you and Rick, he's in his forties and you're still living together."

Martha chuckled. "Yes well, I can only hope Alexis has more luck maritally than my son did. At least _she_ would never walk out on her kid."

Beckett smiled briefly before turning around to sort through photographs.

Martha sighed dramatically. "My only grandchild, all grown up and prepared to fly."

Beckett bit her lip, suppressing a smirk; she could see where this was going.

Without turning around, she shrugged discretely. "Well, who knows, maybe your days as a grandmother aren't over yet. I'm still young and Rick and I... well, you probably don't want to hear any more than that", Beckett did smirk this time.

Martha was suddenly kneeling in front of Beckett. "I can extricate him from the picture. I'm an actress, I do it all the time when I have to pretend to be besotted with someone I truthfully can't stand."

Beckett raised an eyebrow. "Alright...Well, let's just say, they're so right when they say life gets better after forty. And he...", Beckett giggled breathlessly. "His reputation doesn't even do him justice."

Martha had her mouth half open and was staring fixed into space. "OK, turns out my compartmentalizing brain wasn't quite ready. But hey... go Richard", she winked at Beckett and chuckled awkwardly.

Beckett pursed her lips. "Hey Martha, I know it's usually the other way around, I mean typically, the guy asks the girl's parents permission to date her, but considering how you and Rick are so close, I thought asking you for your blessing would be pertinent."

Martha looked at Beckett with a soft expression. "My darling, you've been dating this whole family for years. Sometimes you've left us waiting alone at the restaurant, other times the dates have been ones to never be forgotten. But I think we both know that you and Rick are way past dating." She took Beckett's hands into her own. "Dating is a time when people figure out if they love the person or if they're just in it for a bit of fun. You know and I know that you, my dear are in it for the long haul. We, all of us, are in love with you. And it may be presumptuous of me to say, but I believe you feel the same."

Beckett nodded with a smile. "I do."

Martha smiled a warm smile right back. "And so I give you my blessing to date my son. I give you my blessing to do all the things that young people in love may do; don't worry, I'm under no allusions here", Martha added with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Beckett blushed.

"I give you my blessing to marry and live life together happily, and without anger and deceit and secrets, and if you can promise a marriage to him like that, then I give you a thousand blessings and more", Martha told her, taking a small bow.

Beckett grinned, the woman was over-the-top, but at the same time, irresistible.

Martha patted her on the arm and began to walk away, before she was out of Beckett's earshot, she muttered "And I give you my blessing you make me some grandbabies, a lot of grandbabies... A troop of 'em!"

Beckett shook her head to herself with a smirk and resumed her task. She found a photograph of her mother and her, taken on Beckett's eighteenth birthday. Johanna was wrapping a necklace around her daughter's neck.

Beckett smiled at the wonderfully touching memory. Johanna's mother had given Johanna the necklace when she turned eighteen, and her mother had done the same. It had been a time-honored tradition, going back five generations.

Beckett thought about Martha's wishes, and how they resembled her own. One day she did hope to have a child, or children of her own. Well, not just of her own, of hers and Castle's. Looking at the photo now, she could see herself in twenty years, presenting her own daughter with the family heirloom. Then her thoughts turned dark. What if she never made it to her daughter's eighteenth birthday? What if the world really was going to end? The earth, and all those living on it were constantly on a tipping scale. What if gravity ceased to be in the next twenty years, or volcanos erupted and melted the earth, or floods wiped out every human and creature?

Thinking about the future was a futile business, Beckett knew all too well that things never turned out how one envisioned they would.

In any case, she might end up producing an army of boys, which she imagined would please their father, but it wouldn't quite be conducive to her family tradition.

Beckett grinned, realizing she didn't have to wait for the uncertain future to reveal its plan for her day by day. She had a girl already. She had a daughter. A read-headed beauty that would look so beautiful with this gold and garnet necklace around her delicate, porcelain neck.

Excitedly, Beckett crossed her bedroom and searched in her drawers for the piece of antique jewelry. At last she found it, tangled up with a silver bracelet and three bobby pins. Untangling it gently, she held it up in front of herself, admiring its charm. So much history was in this necklace, so much of her life and her family.

Of course, the deal wasn't sealed with Castle yet, or with Alexis, but somehow Beckett felt no hesitation in doing what she was about to do with an historic piece of family heritage.

She held the past in her hands, and also the future.

Beckett walked calmly and confidently to the bathroom where Alexis was trying on her chiffon dress. She knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey Alexis, how you getting on in there?"

"Oh it's perfect Kate, are you sure you don't mind me wearing it?" She muffled voice of Alexis came through the door.

"No, it's yours babe. Hey, when you get out, I have something else for you."

She heard Alexis's strangled laugh. "It's not my birthday, Kate."

"I know but this is kind of...momentous, and besides it should have been given to you at your last birthday."

The bathroom door swung open, and Alexis walked out, looking gorgeous. "Now you've got me intrigued, Miss Beckett."

"Oh wow Alexis...stunning. You're a knockout, kid", Beckett beamed, proudly.

Alexis looked at Beckett, almost amused at how emotional the usually tough exterior type detective, was. "So, don't leave me hanging here Kate, what have you got for me?" Alexis joked.

Beckett shook tears from her eyes. "Right. Alexis, this is a family heirloom that has been passed down on my mother's side from daughter to daughter on their eighteenth birthday, for five generations."

"Oh my goodness, Kate it's gorgeous", Alexis gasped.

"It's very fragile and very special, so I would only give it to a daughter that I know I can trust." Beckett held out the necklace to the young woman. "That's you, Alexis."

Alexis took a step back, as if afraid to taint the sacred piece of jewelry. "Oh Kate, it's so beautiful, but, you know, I'm not biologically your- I mean shouldn't you wait until you have your own daughter, like, one you actually give birth to?" The teen bowed her head.

Beckett swallowed and put a gentle finger out to lift Alexis's chin.

"You know pumpkin, I've realized that life is so...fickle and undeterminable. I used to dream about my mom walking me up the aisle at my wedding." Beckett shook her head sadly. "My mom never even made it to my twenty-first birthday." She took Alexis hands in her own, placing the necklace in the teenager's palm. "I can't promise you that I will be around forever, but what I can promise you is that while I am here, I will be protecting you and loving you with every fiber of my body."

Alexis felt a tear roll down her face. "Can you help me put it on...Mom?"

Beckett smiled a smile wider than the state of Texas and nodded. "Of course." She felt a sense of wonderment in herself as she clasped the necklace around the girl's neck. Two weeks ago, she could have sworn Alexis only had bad things to say about her. She pondered how true it was that it was never too late to be surprised.

"It goes great with the dress", Beckett grinned a her, running a loving hand down the girl's red braid.

"Yeah", Alexis smiled back.

At that moment, Alexis's cellphone rang in her jeans pocket that were lying on the bathroom floor. The teen scrambled to pick it up. "Hello", she answered quickly.

"Miss Castle, your dad is out of surgery", a man's voice greeted her.

Alexis swallowed. "Is he...How is he?"

"He's still in recovery, still waking up."

"So, he's going to wake up then?" Alexis prodded.

There was a silence before the man answered. "We can't determine that at this point. Do you have people who can come with you?"

"Yes, I have my Grandmother and my Mom", Alexis answered.

"OK, well he may take a while to get responding but I'd suggest you get down here as soon as possible...In case any decisions need to be made."

"What kind of decisions?" Alexis asked tentatively.

"Please just be here", the voice replied.

"We're on our way", Alexis told him shakily.

...

In her haste to get to the hospital, Alexis didn't even bother changing out of Beckett's flowing purple and white-gold dress. It swayed left and right as she ran down the corridor of Mount Sinai, Beckett and Martha were trailing her, rather out of breath.

"Ale-Alexis just hold on a moment", Beckett panted as she ran behind the teen.

"Sorry Kate I'm just... you know, anxious", Alexis told her, halting in her stride for a moment.

Martha came up behind them, clutching her side. "Oh, darling, I was about to alert the beach patrol to send out the warning for hurricane Alexis."

Alexis bowed her head. "I'm sorry Gram I'm just so worried about him, it's kind of starting to sink in, the fact that he could be..."

Beckett nodded and took her girl's face in her hands. "I know babe", she stroked her hair.

"Detective Beckett!" An authoritative male voice called out behind her.

"Oh Doctor Turner!" Beckett answered back, relieved to be greeted with a familiar face.

"Come with me please, all of you", the neurologist instructed them stoically.

The three females shared a nervous glance before following the Doc to his office.

Once there, Beckett motioned for Martha and Alexis to sit in the two available chairs. She stood behind the latter, resting her hands on the girl's shoulders.

"Doctor, if something is wrong please tell us what it is", Martha requested, looking anxious.

Dr. Turner looked at the three women gravely. "Mr. Rodgers is awake and...somewhat coherent."

The women let out a sigh of relief. "Well that's a good thing. He's alive and he's not catatonic, that's better than the worst case scenario at least", Alexis said hopefully.

Dr. Turner nodded. "Yes, but...I'm afraid Mr. Castle seems to have no recollection whatsoever of who he is."

...

Beckett, Martha and Alexis were taken to Castle's room. His condition had finally warranted him his own private suite. Not exactly the way anyone would have wanted such a concession.

The Harry Nilsson song "Remember", was playing out of a hospital-issued radio and Castle was laying back in his hospital bed looking as high as a kite.

"Heeey Doc, you're back!" Castle called out, several decibels higher than he need have.

Alexis glanced at Dr. Turner. "When you said he's lost his memory are you sure you didn't mean his mind?" She asked him with a concerned tone.

"Helloooo" Castle turned his attention to the three women. "Who are you? Oh, let me guess... Matron, nurse, candy-striper", Castle grinned, pointing at Martha, Beckett and Alexis respectively.

They all shifted uncomfortably.

"Mr. Rodgers, this is your family", Dr. Turner told him in a soft professional way.

Castle's face illuminated. "Ah!" He then frowned. "Whoa wait, which one of yous is my dad?"

Martha took a brave step forward. "Richard, I'm your mother, Martha. That's Kate, your partner, and Alexis...she's your daughter."

Castle grinned. "I have a daughter...me? Ooh and nice dress by the way." He clapped his hands together, before his attention turned to Beckett and he gave her the eye. "Hey hows about a little sugar for the walking wounded over here, doll-face?"

Dr. Turner looked at them apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's the drugs."

"I love this song, man! What a _great_ song!" Castle closed his eyes and lay back in his bed, singing along to it.

Beckett's brow furrowed. "He knows the lyrics, how is that possible?"

"That's where the semantic and episodic memories co-interject", Dr. Turner explained, as if Beckett would understand why that mattered.

"Do we have to be here right now?" Alexis asked Beckett, the girl was obviously feeling traumatized, and with good reason.

Beckett was just as shellshocked about the whole thing. "No, there's no reason to be. We'll come back when he's a little more lucid. Is that alright, Doctor Turner?"

Dr. Turner nodded once. "Uh, of course, he'll be in good hands with us here, but for his benefit and yours, let's just see that there isn't anything he needs to know from you before you leave."

He turned to Castle, his voice raised slightly over the music. "Do you have any questions for your family, Mr. Rodgers?" Dr. Turner asked him with what sounded like a hint of urgency.

Castle blinked a couple of times. "Uh, yeah, actually I do have a question." He motioned with his head for Beckett to come over to him.

Beckett stared at him hesitantly for a moment, before moving slowly to his side.

He reached down and managed to grab her hand without her realizing. He looked deep into her eyes with such intensity that Beckett actually sighed aloud.

His eyes remaining fixed to hers, Castle asked his one question.

"I've been sitting here killing time, running numbers in my head. Now, I believe I've brought you eighty-nine coffees to date. But today, considering I'm in hospital and all and not really able to move, and I did just save your life... _again_. I was wondering if maybe you could get me one?" He looked up at her barely containing his smirk.

Beckett let out a noise of relief, disbelief and pure anger. She shook her head "You bastard!" She half-shouted at him, tugging her hand away.

She looked around at all of the medical staff, who were all looking on with amused expressions; they had all been in on this terrible gag.

"I'm sorry, when he woke up from the op, he was back to being his charming and imaginative self", Doctor Turner shrugged. "He asked us all to go along with this, convinced us his family would all be deeply amused by it in the end...meanwhile, look at your poor daughter. She's eighteen, legally she can sue me you know."

Alexis was red in the face, standing with her grandmother, both looking deeply upset.

"Oh pumpkin, I'm sorry, come here", Castle extended his arms to his daughter.

Alexis came near to him, not decided if she wanted to kiss him or kick him. She looked at Beckett. "Mom, you want to kill him or shall I? I'm sure we can get away with it together."

Castle's eyes popped. "Mom?"

Beckett looked at him dumbly. "Yeah, Alexis is our first. Why, we've got four more at home", Beckett gasped "You mean you don't remember the quadruplets?"

Castle swallowed as his face became overcast with confusion. That is until Beckett and Alexis started trying to hide their guffaws behind their hands.

"Oh, very funny", Castle regarded them with a sneer.

"Actually though Dad, Kate and I have decided that she should become a joint guardian", Alexis told him in a tone that said he really didn't have a say in the matter.

"Seriously?" Castle asked, looking delighted.

The two women nodded, smiling affectionately at each other.

Castle grinned. "Well that's wonderful news. So, you obviously agree that I create great kids then Kate. And just so you know I'm not totally adverse to the idea of making more", he winked at Beckett who gritted her teeth and turned away so he couldn't see that she was blushing. "It's just, you know... the thought of four babies crying, scared the hell out of me."

"Serves you right, you great lummox", Martha hollered over to him.

"Mother", Castle held open his arms for Martha, who shifted hesitantly on the spot, not really sure if she wanted to let him off the hook that easily.

"Oh come on, I'll buy you all whatever you want", Castle grinned at his three women.

Beckett and Alexis looked at each other rolling their eyes. But Martha took the opportunity to do a little greasing. "New Condo in the south of France wouldn't be turned down", she blurted out, readily.

"Pushing it", Castle told her with a slight glare.

Beckett shook her head. "OK Rick, so let me get this straight, because it's really important that this is clear, particularly for me. The last forty-one years, you remember all of it?"

"More or less, bits at the beginning and some places in the middle are a little bit hazy but I'll attribute that to being too young and drinking too much scotch, respectively."

"So when did the last twenty years come back to you?"

Castle exhaled deeply. "Right before or right after we both nearly drowned to death this afternoon."

"So you remember that then?"

"Yes", Castle nodded. "Being locked in an army-issued torture chamber is not something one forgets in a hurry."

Beckett bit her lip. "So you remember the last two weeks?"

Stardust seemed to land in Castle's eyes as he stared adoringly up at Beckett. "The last two weeks are the highlights of it all."

Beckett tried not to smile. She needed to still be angry at him for the cruel joke he'd played on her and his mother and daughter. She must not forgive him yet, she must not smile...

"OK, just one more thing", Beckett glanced quickly toward Dr. Turner. "If I were to mention the name Bob Armand...Would it be familiar to you in a way that might be personal or sensitive to you?"

Castle swallowed and he looked up at Doctor Turner. "The good doctor thought you might have questions about that, which might have required an immediate answer." He smiled a half smile. "Yes, I was one of the first witnesses at Bob Armand's murder scene. Doctor Turner here performed a very quick and specific type of treatment to reel it out of my subconscious, no more than two hours ago."

"Treatment?" Beckett asked dubiously.

Dr. Turner cleared his throat. "Ah, hypnotherapy is not technically and scientifically proven to be a legitimate form of psychological analyzation. But I trust that everyone in this room will have no problem remaining discrete."

Beckett nodded slowly and directed her next question at Castle. "OK...So how are you coping with the information now? What do you plan to do about it?"

Castle shrugged. "Well you know, I'd suppressed the image all those years ago because it was just so horrible and traumatic. I'd never seen death before! But now my days almost aren't worthwhile if I don't see a dead body, so I'm feeling OK about it. I mean the only part I really am bothered by is that I could have told you about it on the first day we met, if I hadn't have been keeping the memory locked away", the writer's face showed regret.

Beckett smirked. "Why, so I could have resented you for digging into my mom's murder even sooner?"

Castle raised an eyebrow at her. "Touche, detective."

"Oh, come now Rick, I thought we'd moved way past titles long ago", Beckett grinned slyly.

"Aw, but I had a great one to try out on you", Castle wined, flopping back in his bed.

"If you say lady or deputy warden or anything else that's suggestive, I..." Beckett stomped her foot. Well, what would she do? Probably just become embarrassingly turned on... Which was wrong on so many levels right now.

Not least of which was the fact that his daughter was standing less than five feet away from them, and was looking extremely eager to get out of there.

Castle chuckled meekly. "Sorry pumpkin, I know a slightly shrewd and lewd sense of humor is not exactly appealing when it's your dad."

Alexis couldn't hold back the smile that overtook her face. Her dad knew her again, knew all of her childhood dreams, knew all of her little-girl mishaps and self-deprications. He knew that when her mother left, she cried every night for six months. He knew that when Timothy Alcott had broken her heart in seventh grade, that she and her dad had invested themselves fully in the notion that rocky-road ice cream was the best solution to their problems; and until Alexis almost threw up on the living room floor; it was. He could recall the hundreds of times she'd piggy-backed on his shoulders, and the countless days they'd spent at the little playground on the corner together. He knew the craftsmanship of building a "perfect" smorelette (at least in his opinion), and the sacredness of their moments together when he wasn't "RICHARD CASTLE: NOVELIST EXTRAORDINAIRE!" When he was simply: Dad. But the most important thing her father knew was that he loved her and vice-versa.

"Yeah, well no kidding...I'll take my reparations for the emotional distress you caused me in... items from the new teen vogue catalogue", Alexis told him with a sideways smile.

Castle laughed. "Done."

"Well, now that I know you're OK, and still your juvenile old self, I think it's time to get back to my job that I actually haven't attended for more than half a day since I began", Alexis rolled her eyes and leaned down to give her beloved dad, a kiss on the cheek.

Castle shook his head. "I know my memory is back to full capacity, but I still can't wrap my head around my baby girl out in the workforce, a triton of the literary profession."

Alexis smiled. "I knew when you came back to us, you'd be pretty proud of me."

"I can barely contain my delight, my dear girl", Castle beamed up at her.

Alexis chuckled and turned to face Beckett and Martha. "See you later, love you both", she smiled at them and gave both women a hug.

"Love you too Lex", Beckett smiled warmly back at her.

"Actually pumpkin, stick around for just a moment will you?" Castle requested of her. Castle surveyed the room. "In fact, I want you all to be here to witness this."

"O-K, is it going to be quick?" Alexis asked, one foot already out the door.

"Yes, uh I may get an urgent call and if that happens, I will have to leave" Dr. Turner reminded Castle.

"Well, that all depends on my muse here", Castle said, looking mysteriously over to Beckett.

Her eyes narrowed and she spoke in a sugary voice. "Oh hunny, I haven't heard you call me that since the last time I kicked your ass for saying it."

"Now just hold on there, my dear, for there is a reason I use that term specifically, and please believe that it is a term of endearment."

Beckett pursed her lips. "Alright Castle, what do you want to know?"

Castle raised an eyebrow at her. "I still don't want you to call me that."

Beckett shrugged. "What do you want me to call you then? Believe me, I've got plenty of suggestions."

Castle tilted his head. "Well I am still rather partial to Rick. As for formal introductions that may require a fuller greeting, I think, "My husband, Richard", has a somewhat regal quality to it."

The room and all its occupants fell into a coma.

Beckett gaped for longer than was conversationally acceptable. "What are- are you saying...are you asking what I think you're asking?"

Castle's playful look dissipated from his face to transform into one of pure love and heartfelt promise. "To quote the great John Keats from his letters to his long-time romantic pen pal, Fanny Brawne: "I have met with women whom I really think would like to be married to a poem, and to be given away by a novel." The mystery novelist smiled warmly up at his lover. "Not you. I've dedicated three books to you, and unlike any woman I've become accustomed to; you've never been swayed purely by my words."

Beckett swallowed hard. "Gotta say you're doing a pretty good job right now, changing that tradition."

Castle reached out for her hand that she had withdrew from him earlier. "Preceding that, he told her "I love you more in that I believe you have liked me for my own sake and for nothing else." Kate, you've seen my faults, my fears, you've known me at my most entranced and at my most desperate. You now know my past, a past filled with terrible secrets that no other woman is privy to and yet, here you are, prepared still, to love me." Castle eyes watered. "I have no more allusions left to hide behind. Though pity the everyman who believes he can pull the wool over the eyes of you, Katherine Beckett."

Beckett laughed on a sigh. "You know... a week after he wrote that letter, dated July 8th 1819, Keats wrote another to his former neighbor which included this sentiment: "You say you perhaps might have made me better:" You did that with every line of your books that I immersed myself in completely. "You would then have made me worse:" You did that too, when you started probing into my mother's murder. "Now you could quite effect a cure: What fee my sweet Physician would I not give you to do so?" You cured me Rick, from a disease that only you could save me from. You alone were the only one who had the power to break me of that curse, to help banish this thing that would have otherwise consumed me." Beckett stroked his hand with her thumb, gently. "And now you save my life every moment we're together."

Castle shook his head slowly, in amazement. "Poetry be the language of love and to mine ears delight, she speaks it fluently."

Beckett tilted her head to the side. "More Keats?"

Castle smiled. "Castle."

Beckett nodded, tears teetering the brim of her nose.

Castle inhaled as he took in the wondrous creature in front of him. Suddenly he was very nervous. "So, ah Kate... I know my regular works aren't usually as cryptic and certainly aren't as poetic as this so I won't be surprised if the meaning of my words have been lost on you." He gave her a smile that set his face alight. "So, returning to what I promised would be "just one last question", which I believe I said to you about twelve centuries ago..."

Beckett laughed and sniffed back the latest enemy tear drop, in her battle with her own emotions.

"And I'd hate to think that I was leaving you with any misconceptions here, because I want us to be open and honest with each other...always", Castle told her so sincerely, Beckett sobbed aloud.

"So, to you, I pose this "one question"... Katherine Beckett." He paused for effect.

A nurse came into the room and touched Dr. Turner on the shoulder. "Doctor, your four-fifteen is here." Dr. Turner waved her away frantically. "In a minute."

Castle didn't notice the distraction. He didn't notice anything but his Kate.

"I really would like to marry you...Do you think you might kinda wanna marry me?"

Beckett chuckled. "I think Keats may have overshadowed you a little."

Castle clenched his teeth. "Yeah, that just occurred to me."

Dr. Turner and the other hospital staff were transfixed to the exchange.

Martha and Alexis were puddles at this point, only refraining from melting into the floor, by holding each other up.

Beckett sniffed away as many tears as she could, but too many were determined to cascade down over her face.

Slowly, a grin crept over Castle's features. Beckett couldn't help it, she grinned right along and let the tears fall freely. Through her tears of joy, relief and love so pure, plain and simple; she answered thus:

"Yes."

THE END


End file.
